Hottest Jokes Today
1589358
So someone on 4Chan has released hacked nude photos of celebrities including Jennifer Lawrence, the Olson twins and Mila Kunis.
On the one hand, this is a disgraceful invasion of privacy but, on the other hand...
...well, that hand is busy.
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1589369
Hi is that American Express? The company that promises to find me an English speaking Doctor in an emergency.
Yes sir that's us how can we help.
Well I've had an accident but I'm struggling to communicate, nobody understands me.
Ok sir, please tell where you are.
Right, I'm in Queen Elizabeth Hospital Birmingham.
1589362
I prayed to Jesus Christ our Lord that I would win the Lotto and I won a tenner.
To all you atheists out there, I think that both proves He exists and that he was a Jew
1589430
The body of the hacker of the Jennifer Lawrence photos was found earlier.
He's apparently the first man to be Hi 5'd to death.
1589355
My daughter went out wearing her Burka today.
She's not a Muslim. It just makes a great disguise for robbing a bank.
1589377
UK School children face a 'tough' new national curriculum, to prepare them for "life in modern Britain".
French has finally been replaced by Urdu, then?
1589500
I see Ryanair is now charging £10 for a blanket and pillow.
Well, at least you can get a good solid 8 hours sleep while you're waiting on the runway.
1589399
Manchester United getting Falcao and Di Maria is the equivalent of giving somebody who needs heart surgery fake tits. Looks brilliant, but isn't what's needed.
1589502
Manchester United are fast becoming the Katie Price of English football.
They keep needlessly spending a fortune to boost what they've got up front and invariably get fucked at the back.
1589487
I was telling my nephew from Norfolk a bedtime nursery rhyme.
"Why did one little piggy not do anything?," he asked.
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