School Jokes

At the start of the exam, the invigilator says, "You have exactly 2 hours. I will not accept any papers after this time has elapsed."

Two hours later, the invigilator calls out, "Time's up, Ladies and Gentlemen."

One student is still scribbling away ten minutes later when the invigilator has all the collected papers in a large stack front of him. Slowly, the student finishes up and walks over to hand in his paper, but the invigilator refuses to accept it. The student puffs up his chest and says:

"Do you have any idea who I am?"

"No," says the invigilator.

"Great," says the student as he slips his paper into the middle of the stack.
For our chemistry exam we had to write a thousand words on acid.

Unfortunately my pen turned into a gorilla and the floor melted.
Like many people, I had no idea what to do after I left school.

But after thinking about it for a while, I decided to go home.
I bumped into an old friend and said to him, "I hear you lost your job as a Geography teacher?"

"Yeah, I've no idea why but it doesn't matter now as I'm moving to Australia to teach."

"Why go all that way for a job?"

"Because apparently Toronto has some of the best schools in the world."
I've just defied all the rules of physics.

I didn't wear goggles during the experiment, I ran when holding the equipment, and then I called the teacher a cunt.