Man breaks into Space Force base to warn of alien-dragon war

JuVondy · 2022-07-27T10:28:32+00:00

Whats hilarious is this is exactly how it would happen in a movie, and we’d all think the guy was nuts.

Only for him to be proven right.

Sidthelid66 · 2022-07-27T09:18:14+00:00

The Dragons surrendered last month after the Aliens led a bloody assault on the Dragon home world. Where has this guy been?

Vegan_Honk · 2022-07-27T08:25:18+00:00

lord in heaven please let it be this one. This sounds fuckin lit.

wojar · 2022-07-27T08:52:08+00:00

When asked for his source of information, Johnson said "I'm not gonna do your research for you, it's all available on the internet. Google it, search 'US aliens fighting with Chinese dragons' on YouTube and you'll see the truth."

nerdyamateurs · 2022-07-27T13:08:40+00:00

Thank goodness there’s still people out there fighting the good fight.

We must resist our dragon alien overlords.

I_might_be_weasel · 2022-07-27T12:44:21+00:00

You can't make a military branch called Space Force and get mad when you attract crazy people.

YaBroDownBelow · 2022-07-27T11:53:16+00:00

Spelljammers released?

greypowerOz · 2022-07-27T08:26:02+00:00

"Florida Man", please:)

Florida man attempts to break into Space Force base to warn of alien-dragon space war

crosstherubicon · 2022-07-27T11:31:47+00:00

Meanwhile Alex Jones is talking about dimensional portals in Washington and millions of people tune in routinely.

justanotherdayinAus · 2022-07-27T08:31:57+00:00

Please, can I get the contact details of his dealer?

espinoza4 · 2022-07-27T12:36:58+00:00

~~Man~~ Hero breaks into Space Force base to warn of alien-dragon war.

StimpleSyle · 2022-07-27T12:44:04+00:00

See something, say something.

Krivvan · 2022-07-27T09:30:22+00:00

Omega and Midgardsomr?

Beginning_Book_2382 · 2022-07-27T09:50:41+00:00

What an idiot. Everyone knows the oncoming war will be fought between ghosts and interdimensional creatures. /s

shachar58 · 2022-07-27T08:52:06+00:00

Warhammer fandom, you're out of control

MabelPod · 2022-07-27T08:17:36+00:00

The alien race, known as Fiyarr, is suspected of having an extensive arsenal of wooden weaponry. This is interesting because the dragons plan on fighting Fiyarr with fire.

TheCaptainDamnIt · 2022-07-27T12:47:04+00:00

Being the proverbial new kid on the block when it comes to branches, the Space Force is bound to get plenty of attention. It’s hard not to notice that the Space Force rank insignia looks a lot like Star Trek, but the uniforms look like part of Star Wars’ Galactic Empire. And then there’s the Space Force’s birthday, which was celebrated with a cake as bleak and empty as the infinite reaches of space itself. Or the fact that the branch with what may be the most complicated mission of all – operating in space – can’t figure out pants, a technology that dates back more than 2,000 years. But they’re working on that.

Look at Task and Purpose throwing that fucking shade!

halloalex · 2022-07-27T12:55:05+00:00

I really like the chemistry between Steve Carell and John Malkovich in this show

RLDKA · 2022-07-27T08:59:39+00:00

Lmao imagine if he's right

Gaviel · 2022-07-27T13:00:22+00:00

Sounds like a story bit from final fantasy 14. Where there was a literal alien dragon war.

startrektoheck · 2022-07-27T13:38:13+00:00

This guy is only slightly less insane than the guy who thought Space Force should be a real thing instead of something that kindergarteners play.

subgameperfect · 2022-07-27T11:32:25+00:00

Funny on face value but sad really.

That man obviously isn't mentally competent but the County cared more about him stealing a truck on qhat he thought was a honorable and patriotic mission than his mental health.

That's a man that needs help, not prison. Involuntary residential help most likely but not a jail cell.

resist_entropy · 2022-07-27T09:06:47+00:00

It is understandable, if there is a need to warn about alien-dragon war, where would one to go? Calling 911 won't do it.

KingDanNZ · 2022-07-27T11:36:01+00:00

Pay it 1000 Gold now or 40 Gold for 50 Turns. Basic Space Dragon Math Science yo!

Jim_from_GA · 2022-07-27T11:57:02+00:00

See, we told you. It's not man-influenced global warming, it's Space Dragon Breath.

Pwned.

GalaxianEX · 2022-07-27T14:48:53+00:00

Someone got really into Final Fantasy XIV’s latest expansion.

frymtg · 2022-07-27T12:54:40+00:00

Someone’s been listening to way too much fucking power metal, and that’s coming from someone who listens to way too much fucking power metal.

BitterFuture · 2022-07-27T13:01:21+00:00

...godammit.

Thanks, 2020.

JimTheSaint · 2022-07-27T13:12:38+00:00

Still better ending than game of thrones

MalarkeysPoppa · 2022-07-27T13:20:38+00:00

Now THIS is the kind of news I like to read with my coffee.

Firm_Masterpiece_343 · 2022-07-27T13:45:13+00:00

So hoping this is true.

americanadiandrew · 2022-07-27T15:46:31+00:00

What nonsense. The magical sky wizard who watches over all of us would never allow it.

barbariantrey · 2022-07-27T15:47:04+00:00

The onion is really suffering these days

draconothese · 2022-07-27T09:54:49+00:00

Sighs and Unzips I'm willing to do my part to train these alien space dragons

thevoidhearsyou · 2022-07-27T11:29:37+00:00

Why do I have this feeling this guy has watched too much anime.

SeedScape · 2022-07-27T11:53:39+00:00

[According to what he told arresting officers, he was there on behalf of the President to alert the Space Force that there were “US aliens fighting with Chinese dragons.”]

Not just any dragon/alien but US Aliens and Chinese Dragons.

sfvbritguy · 2022-07-27T11:58:56+00:00

The guy is crazy, everyone knows the real threat is shape changing alien ninjas from outer space......

theavatare · 2022-07-27T12:07:10+00:00

Def under the space force purview

habanero_sauce · 2022-07-27T12:26:14+00:00

Holy shit, how did I completely forget that we actually have Space Force. What a crazy last couple years…

bransiladams · 2022-07-27T13:43:08+00:00

Why does the space force wear forest camo fatigues? Shouldn’t they at least be wearing, like, stars and galaxies camo?

fappyday · 2022-07-27T17:31:59+00:00

So which side are we on? The dragons are from Earth, so they're technically our home team, but if they win we're stuck with a major dragon problem. On the other hand, the aliens are technically invaders, but if they win they might share their technology with us and we'll get cool shit like flying cars and The Noisy Cricket.

DangerMoose1969 · 2022-07-27T17:35:49+00:00

Well he got his moneys worth for those drugs I guess.

PuroPincheGains · 2022-07-27T18:50:32+00:00

Sounds like too much Elden Ring and not enough sleep, happens to the best of us

lostpawn13 · 2022-07-27T10:01:31+00:00

I really want to see his research.

Wolpfack · 2022-07-27T12:21:06+00:00

This guy has every appearance of a schizophrenic with delusions. He needs to be remanded to a psyche ward for a thorough evaluation and then given appropriate treatment.

But...this being America, especially Florida, they will throw him in prison and forget about him by the end of the weekend.

Bahnd · 2022-07-27T13:24:02+00:00

Its not a dragon, but a massive interstellar space goat that will consume the system. Quickly, we must start building 3 large colony ships to get out of the way.

Ship A can contain leaders, thinkers, artists, and the others of high society.

Ship C can contain farmers, masons, welders and those who work with their hands.

Ship B can contain middle-managers, hair dressers, telephone cleaners and the like. We will send this ship off first to scout out our potential new world to live on... And conveniently forget to launch ships A and C.

Im sure noone will get sick from and unwashed telephone or something.

Bloodragedragon · 2022-07-27T08:32:40+00:00

There are no dragon aliens, nothing to fear people.

usefoolidiot · 2022-07-27T11:24:11+00:00

This is all just a advert for the new game of thrones right?

HappyThumb55555 · 2022-07-27T11:32:51+00:00

Did he warn them in time?

neo101b · 2022-07-27T12:16:50+00:00

It should of been Aliens, Dragons and Robots.

The perfect Trinity to destroy us all.

lordlossxp · 2022-07-27T12:56:30+00:00

Its dib from invader zim. There are actually screens inside space force that no one is allowed to look at that has aliens and dragons fighting 24/7

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