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A Texas school district is removing and reviewing dozens of challenged books, including the Bible and an Anne Frank adaptation by Own_Ad6388 in news

[–]skyehobbit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree with this so long as all religious texts are available. If the Bible is the only one allowed, then it should be removed.

I'm friends with someone who has aspd stick around. this gets good. by dafaerie in BorderlinePDisorder

[–]skyehobbit 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm glad your hospital has every person with ASPD there. That's a lot of work.

I'm friends with someone who has aspd stick around. this gets good. by dafaerie in BorderlinePDisorder

[–]skyehobbit 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Sounds like you're projecting your experiences on others. You've met one person with ASPD, not all of them.

People go to HR about us? by Prudent-Experience97 in AutisticAdults

[–]skyehobbit 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I once had to tell my division president that a couple employees felt ignored because he didn't specifically say hi to them. He would come in and give a general "hey everyone" kind of greeting.

NTs are not ok. At least, these ones weren't. ETA: they were all older, in their 50s, which may have bearing on their preferences.

A critical look by a non-American at far right conspiracy believers in US politics by Generic_Garak in bestof

[–]skyehobbit 65 points66 points  (0 children)

That would be exactly why the guy chose you to start spouting crazy shit. My hubs had a trumper friend on FB, who specifically went on my hubs post about immigration for Africans - my bil is a Nigerian immigrant - to argue. (Then after my hubs gave him a thorough democratic lecture, he apologized in a PM and asked for a truce. Eye roll)

slight twist: whats the most extreme horror youve ever read that DOESNT feature rape. by StevenAnita420 in horrorlit

[–]skyehobbit 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're welcome. It's easy to forget cause there wasn't much - but what is there is visceral. Woof, those were tough to get through. But Lumley always treated it with respect.

Ladies of Reddit, what is the biggest misconception about your bodies that all men should know? by Miguenzo in AskReddit

[–]skyehobbit 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I sometimes wonder how the hell I ended up so knowledgable. I grew up in Texas and Oklahoma, but OK had a decent sex-ed program at middle school. It must've been a blessed year or two of actual education before they cut it out.

slight twist: whats the most extreme horror youve ever read that DOESNT feature rape. by StevenAnita420 in horrorlit

[–]skyehobbit 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Necromancer series has a couple rape moments. I remember them vividly. It's probably my favorite series ever because the vampires are so cool and unique, but those parts exist.

I’m a good doer but a terrible leader. by iatethefrog in ADHD

[–]skyehobbit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dude, yes! As bad as this will sound, once I became supervisor I worked on managing out the toxic employees - and the team thanked me after they left. The dynamic was great after that. I never hired anyone that I felt would waste my time, and I'm still happy with those decisions - though a few people ultimately couldn't make it in the long run, they weren't big saps of my time like the others were.

I’m a good doer but a terrible leader. by iatethefrog in ADHD

[–]skyehobbit 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You're welcome! I used to look at the boss and think, "What on earth do you do around here?" I had only worked retail until this job, and while corporate management is a little different from retail, it's not much. And it all depends on who the boss is as a person.

The president of my division was an a*hole who believed in being nice enough at first, but letting others take the fall for his mistakes, using his delegation to bully other people, and in the "stick and carrot" leadership style - basically the whole "if you spare the rod, you spoil the child." I'm a servant leader, and I put people first over business. I could get my team to put in excessive overtime, get people to help with other departments and more. But that comes with leading, not yelling. I left because of the president, but my old employees kept reaching out for a while to see if I'd come back.

Management is hard. And if you're a good boss, it's even harder.

I’m a good doer but a terrible leader. by iatethefrog in ADHD

[–]skyehobbit 10 points11 points  (0 children)

It's my opinion, but I disagree about the least amount of work. I used to think that, but managing people alone is incredibly difficult. I met regularly with each person individually, we met twice weekly as a team, we all had different meetings we were involved in that had to be scheduled around. I had to continuously review their work, training, quality, quantity, etc. And then discuss it with them, provide effective feedback, and if they didn't improve - managing them out is itself a strenuous, long process. And that's the people side of managing. The other half is the strategizing, planning, program management, etc. The org I worked in is in a fairly dynamic field and during my tenure we had 2 big U.S. law changes that affected our entire process.

Now, delegation is KEY to getting work done and leaving time for strategizing, planning, managing, etc. so it can appear that maybe they're not working as much or doing as much. But their job just differs. That's all assuming they're not shitty managers. There are different types of managers - the ones who do nothing but looked busy, the ones who do work but didn't effectively manage/lead, the ones who do both, the ones who lead and don't do much work.

I unfortunately was in an organization that was heavily understaffed and had to do all the "brain work" with my VPs and executives, then turn around and manage all my people, and still do grunt work at the bottom from time to time.

After my experience, I think managing people - truly managing and leading them, not just ticking boxes/etc. - is a big job.

I’m a good doer but a terrible leader. by iatethefrog in ADHD

[–]skyehobbit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's great! For new job and baby. Sucks no meds. You are amazing. I think if I had to try and balance everything while pregnant with a big new job and I couldn't take my meds, I'd lose my shit.

I’m a good doer but a terrible leader. by iatethefrog in ADHD

[–]skyehobbit 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I last had a team of 15 in house direct reports, and 3 contract workers to manage. That was exhausting, especially come review time. What job do you do that 125 is considered small?

I’m a good doer but a terrible leader. by iatethefrog in ADHD

[–]skyehobbit 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Did you say .. "fairly large team of 125 people"? Fairly large??

I’m a good doer but a terrible leader. by iatethefrog in ADHD

[–]skyehobbit 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Same. I am a great planner, and can create the necessary steps, etc. But execution is what I lack. I have great charisma, people will follow me through 50 hr work weeks, etc. I manage meetings and projects - but following through is tough.

Texas teacher sentenced to 60 days for sexual abuse of former student when he was 13 by Gato1980 in news

[–]skyehobbit 40 points41 points  (0 children)

In addition to the 60 days in jail, Bodine will also register as a sex offender and has until June 5, 2023, to report to jail, according to a court docket sheet.

She's got a whole year to serve her time too. Ridiculous.

Texas teacher sentenced to 60 days for sexual abuse of former student when he was 13 by Gato1980 in news

[–]skyehobbit -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

I appreciate the call out on the stats. It is different, but not 10x different.

What’s the most TERRIFYING book that you ever read? by Actuallydead_ in horrorlit

[–]skyehobbit 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I read this book called The Cat-Dogs as a kid, which was an anthology of different stories. There was a contemporary version of "The Masque of the Red Death" by Poe which was great; another one was about these companion pets who are sentient and who eventually get tired of being human companions; the titular cat-dogs; etc.

I spent years trying to remember the title of the book at the time - it took me ages to remember it was "cat-dogs" - but I finally picked it up on a used bookseller. It stuck with me since 3rd grade and it's still pretty good.

Also, as a kid, Alvin Schwartz's Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark.

Aside from those as a kid, I don't think a book has ever really terrified me. I love looking through the comments in these threads for suggestions though.

North Carolina town's entire police department quits after town hires Black city manager by BusbyBusby in news

[–]skyehobbit 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I really appreciate the responses quotes from people in the town. It seems like a good community of people. Whether there's any racial bias at play, there's definitely a power move involves too. My guy reaction is that they're uncomfortable with a black woman being in charge, as black women are portrayed as angry people, but as a good town manager, she's unlikely to play by the "boys clubs" rules they've had in effect forever.

It's a mix of both, no doubt, but it does seem more of a power play rather than just racially motivated. Title of article is a bit misleading considering the previous town manager was a black man.

me_irl by IceWotor in me_irl

[–]skyehobbit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's unfortunate that a man spent money and wasted a degree to be whatever he is now.

This war that you think exists between us and NTs is all in your head by [deleted] in aspergers

[–]skyehobbit 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Is there a "war"? No. And I've never seen it described that way. It is an "us vs them"? Yes, at times but not often a specific us vs. a specific them. More like, us vs their way of thinking, us vs their expectations, us vs their ignorance. A culture war.

I am 38, ASD, with plenty of comorbids. I do less masking now than I have ever done. I spent years as a stay at home mom with my kids and that undid a lot of the programming I'd been taught to "fit in."

It's great. I don't force myself into uncomfortable situations, I don't play at being an NT when I'm out with friends, in my last job I barely masked at all. At this point in my life, you get me. Just me.

I changed a lot of minds on what ASD is, and constantly answered questions. But I got lucky with this group of people. My job prior to that did not go as well.

Your post talks about how we all learn to mask to fit ib - but the point we are making is that we don't want to mask. We want to be accepted for who we are. That's the "war" we're talking about. It doesn't have to be something NTs do consciously, esp if they've been introduced to the concept of ND as individuals and not symptoms and they keeping treating NDs as their ND.

And where that is possible is highly subjective.