RIP Twitter Or Long Live Twitter Or Something Who Knows

Well fuck. Twitter caved, we mean reached a really good deal, to let Elon Musk buy the company for $44 billion and take it private. If the deal doesn't somehow weirdly fall apart before everything is signed, and if you are a Twitter stockholder, you will receive $54.20 for each share, because haw haw, get it?

This is a blog post about a serious business transaction undertaken by the wealthiest man in the world, who is a serious person and not just a troll.

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Wonkette Weekend Live Chat Will Also Depart Like A Lion, If You Don’t Mind

Welcome to the last live chat of April 2022. We’ll valiantly charge on into May and what we in Portland, Oregon, call “Second Winter.” Saturday was sunny here, though, and my son and I hung out on the patio, playing a thrilling game of Pokemon that I don’t understand but he patiently explained to me.

Robyn and I will hop into the craziness of the past week at 12 pm PT and 3 pm ET. Please hop over to YouTube to watch, like, share, and subscribe. You can also stay here if you wish, but at least give us a YouTube thumbs up to show you care. We ask for so little.

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Audio Recording Reveals Kevin McCarthy Maybe Sorta Kinda Perhaps Totally F*ckin' Full Of Sh*t

Yesterday, Wonkette wrote about the New York Times excerpt of the new book by Jonathan Martin and Alex Burns, This Will Not Pass, which reported that a solid handful of times after January 6, Mitch McConnell and Kevin McCarthy at least considered being patriots and standing up for America, instead of being garbage cowards. Specifically it reported that McCarthy was going to push Trump to resign, but then didn't, because bawk bawk bawk bawk bawk.

In that excerpt, McCarthy issued the standard denials, but we didn't pay much attention to them, because fuck off. But then he spent a lot of yesterday protesting and denying.

Then Rachel Maddow dropped this tweet:



Oh.

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Mitch McConnell And Kevin McCarthy Almost Stood Up For America After Jan. 6, Decided To Be Cowards Instead

“The Democrats are going to take care of the son of a bitch for us." That's the line Politico Playbook is using as its headline this morning, and it is reportedly a quote from Mitch McConnell just after the January 6 attack Donald Trump incited on America. It comes from a new book, This Will Not Pass (Wonkette cut link) by Jonathan Martin and Alex Burns, and you can read an excerpt in this morning's New York Times.

The gist is that there was indeed a brief moment when McConnell and House GOP leader Kevin McCarthy were thinking about maybe doing the right thing and standing up for America, but then they didn't, because they are cowards.

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Conspiracy theories

Michigan QAnon Candidate Saw Goody Beyoncé Consorting With The Devil In The Woodshed

Secretary of state candidate Kristina Karamo is pretty sure everyone is in league with Satan.

There are few things stranger than the fact that we are living in the year 2022 and motherfuckers are still going around crying "Witch!" like it's the 17th century and we're all wearing bonnets and worrying about our wandering wombs.

But there are, indeed, people doing that and some of them are running for office. Like Kristina Karamo, the Republican candidate for Michigan secretary of state.

In addition to hanging around with people like QAnon John, believing that evolution should not be taught in schools, claiming that premarital sex and homosexuality have normalized pedophilia and bestiality (which should come as a big surprise to those of us who are quite sure those things are still both abnormal and verboten), and that leftwing Antifa activists did January 6, Karamo thinks that Beyoncé, Ariana Grande, Billie Eilish, Cardi B., yoga, and Korean dramas are all in league with the Satan, whom she describes as being "super crafty."

Media Matters has helpfully put up a nice collection of her greatest hits, which we're gonna take a look at.

Here's what she had to say about Ariana Grande:

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Mommyblogging

Don't Know What You Got Till It's Gone!

Like Wonkette. If we were gone, you would have a VERY BAD SAD.

A week ago, Bitch magazine announced it was hanging up its fishnets and combat boots after 25 goddamn years of beautiful, inclusive, intersectional feminism, culture, and theory. Autostraddle, itself beloved, had this to say:

"But, that’s the thing, indie media is always hanging on by a thread. I wish that more people would believe it when we (us, Bitch, whoever else) say over and over that without reader support, we will go away. I almost always have their magazine on my counter, an article open in one of my tabs, the words of their writers in my head. This is an incredible loss, and I think, it might be a loss that we didn’t have to see.”

When I noted that paragraph in tabs, you took note, and a lot more of you sent us money than on a typical day. But a lot fewer of you are sending us money than on any typical day a couple of years ago. You're bummed about inflation maybe! You are having economic Unmarvelous Mrs. Malaise!

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News

Why Barbra Streisand Is The Only Real Fanny Brice, Including Fanny Brice. Tabs, Tues., April 26, 2022

Come and get your Tabs!

Twitter has accepted Elon Musk’s offer to purchase the social media platform. Nothing good will come of this. (The Verge)

Meet President Joe Biden’s nominee to serve as ambassador to Ukraine, Bridget Brink. (Newsweek)

Scientists and researchers at UC San Francisco, along with the California Department of Public Health, looked into how many lives were saved by the Covid-19 vaccine. The results are stunning. (LA Times)

The obvious economic impact from climate change still hasn’t changed the perception to going green is a liberal luxury. (The Economist)

Comedian Chelsea Pope just watched The Batman. (Twitter)


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