90 Minute Zombie

Thank christ all that International guff is done and dusted for a few months. Any fool knows that Internationals are only good for the Summer months, and only then to help a helpless spectator get by without his or her fix of club football.

"And they mocked Alan Rough"

Christ, how did I miss those gaffes by Robinson and Carson first time round? The wonders of stumbling across random clips on YouTube:

That's me Bale'ing out.

Peter Bodak versus Man City, January 1982

Don't ask me why but I just thought of this goal, and YouTube was good enough to confirm that the goal and the goalscorer weren't just a figment of my imagination.

I had totally forgotten about that red and white Coventry City away kit, though. My memory was still locked on their chocolate delight from the Wallace and Ferguson era.

Sadly, Bodak doesn't have one of the more informative wiki pages but this article which dates from 2005 fills in some of the gaps.

It's a given

Harsh but true . . . and Mancini has the Hart to tell him.

Choked Up

You could expect nothing less from a Rangers player.

Stick it to the Yann

This is class:

Hat tip to 'strung out' over at Urban 75.

Paul Scholes finally gets his own label on the blog

After watching Match of the Day online, the date of the 18th April will now have to go down in my history book.

So that's what Paul Scholes sounds like?

I never wondered.

The 2009/2010 FA Cup Trivia Question of the Day . . .

. . . that was nice.

Ordinarily, I don't have anything against Spurs - yep, even with Redknapp in the high chair - but Portsmouth getting to the final plays out nicely as football done hollywood style. And hopefully Danny Dyer - as played by Jamie O'Hara - will be back for the final where plucky Pompey will get drogaba'd by Chelski.

One question, though: what's with Kevin-Prince Boateng having a tattoo of Viz Comic's Cockney Wanker on his shoulder?

Did he not get over Redknapp selling him to Portsmouth? With that penalty, maybe now he's over it.

Football quote of the day

Ooh, I wish I'd thought of that:

"Wayne Bridge has just texted John Terry, "That's how you play away from home you ****""

That wee gem of wit comes courtesy of 'Smackhead' and the comments section of the Guardian's report of today's game.

Does that qualify as 'esprit du tunnel'?

'Did the boy with the comb over do a step over as part of the walk over?'

Nice result for Everton today. And on the back of beating Chelsea the other week.

If only they got the memo that the season starts in August rather than late November, they'd be a shoe in for the fourth place. They might still make it but it'll be close and, as they don't have much depth to their squad, they're only a couple of injuries away from the wheels coming off their recent resurgence.

I've got to ask, though: what's the deal with Dan Gosling's hair in the picture below?

Isn't 20 a bit young for a comb over? The last time I saw a haircut like that it was leading the 1984/85 Miners Strike. We all know that ended in tears and this will too. Maybe Stephen Ireland can have a word before the matter gets out of hand.

Meano Keano has a Beano

Like the rest of us, he can't remember the last time Ipswich won two games in a row, but some things Roy Keane never forgets.

In Roy's mansion, FAI stands for 'Feckin' Arrogant Ingrates'.

Tricots for goalposts

Diplomatic incident between the Republics of France and Ireland over the small matter of Sarkozy and last night's World Cup play-off game in Dublin.

Hat tip to a Urban 75er.

'Some people are on the pitch . . . '

. . . but it's OK, Craig Bellamy's 1500 miles away cuffing someone else.

Saturday's Moscow derby between FC Saturn and Spartak Moscow was enlivened by what can only be called a 'sucker punch goal' from a fan from the crowd who decided to interrupt his short cut jog to the bovril stand by walluping in a penalty straight down the middle. Sadly, the penalty had to be retaken as his mate in the tracksuit bottoms was encroaching inside the box when the ball was struck.

Make sure to watch the celebration afterwards 'cos on 29 seconds in the clip you'll have the shock of your footballing life: Paolo Di Canio has really let himself go since retiring from the professional game. Still got a decent left peg, though.

Hat tip to 'Barking Mad' over at Urban 75.

Plastic gangster

One for Reidski.

From Football365com website, a brilliantly funny pisstake of hoolies and their ilk that might have John King reaching for the phone to ring his solicitor.

"Work. Same old, same old. A warrior like me should not be caged. And definitely not as a Waste Management Support Co-ordinator in Lewisham Council. Phone rings. Pick it up.

"Ooo are ya? Ooo are ya? Ooo are ya?" I shout.

"Barry," says the voice. "It's Mr Stevens. Now what did we say about answering the phone in accordance with the guidelines laid down by HR in consultation with designated union representatives?"

"Sorry, Mr Stevens," I say.

"That's better Barry. Now can you please arrange for a member of the cleaning personnel team to go down to the lobby and change the waste paper basket on front desk?"

"Millwall! Millwall! Millwall!" I shout.

"No Barry. Waste paper management now. Millwall later," says Stevens. "Honestly Barry. A man of 48 really ought to be able to control himself." [READ ON . . . .]

From Old Hooligan: A Day In The Life.

Hat tip to 'Sweet FA' over at Urban 75.

"It's football, Jim, but not as we know it."

You've got to love this picture.

It's from an IK Brage game (sorry, I don't know the team playing in the black) and, as my Swedish is a bit rusty at the moment, I can't work out if it's an attempt at a Guinness World Record for how many footballers you can fit onto a penalty spot at any one time or if it's the result from last season's Swedish Spot The Ball competition.

Another gem . . .

. . . via the good folk at Urban 75.

March 14th seems so long ago.

Ruffled Benitez

Inspired . . . and I don't even have that much of a problem with either Benitez or Liverpool.

Once again, Fergie wins the minds games and Man Utd wins the title.

Sammy Lee as Uncle Albert is just brilliant. Made my day seeing that. Those Surrey Reds can be creative when they put their minds to it.

Hat tip to the good people at Urban 75.

How many will Zaki score this week?

Glad that that daftness is out the way for another month. I don't care what anybody says: Internationals get in the way of proper football. The actual final tournaments are great, and all that (what else are you going to do in the summer months when the proper football isn't on?) but the qualifying rounds are just a pain in the arse.

Couple of thoughts from last night's games:

Ashley Cole, Lampard and Terry are on the pitch and the only Chelsea player to get an elbow in the face is Joe Cole? Croatia deserved to lose for that alone.

It pains me to write it but that swine, Kirk Broadfoot, was first class against Celtic the other week so I won't begrudge him his goal against Iceland. Nice to see that ex-XTC front man, Barry Robson, was also on the score sheet last night. I hope that means he starts the next game for Celtic. The bloke lifted the Celtic team immeasurably when he came on against Rangers the other week. (See, Reidski, I can now get past the pain and mention that 4-2 defeat.)

Result of last night by far. It's always heartening when the minnow tax haven for the parasitic rich gets one over on the big daddy tax haven of the same parasitic rich bastards.

Footballer feels sorry for himself shocker. The nation collectively replies 'Lee who?'

What was so great about England's stunning victory in Zagreb last night was that so few English supporters actually saw it. More people watched a repeat of The Brittas Empire over on UK Gold last night.

Since when did Lithuania get so good? I'm away down the bookies to put a tenner on Hearts of Midlothian winning the 2010 World Cup.

Only one F in Fulham

Not the brightest spark on the Catherine wheel.

Ginger Italian Footballers

Tackling one prejudice at a time.

Cagliari's Davide Biondini