This will likely be something that I talk about again and again. The stigmatization of mental disorders and especially personality disorders is rampant all over the internet, led by misinformed / biased people.
“Narc abuse” is an ableist and misplaced term used by many people who experience abuse that their abusers deny existed. When told that the term is harmful, they generally assume that we don’t want them talking about the abuse they’ve lived through. This is not the case, no one should be forced to be silenced when it comes to their trauma. However, using a disorder as a descriptor paints everyone with said disorder as inherently evil or abusive. Assuming all women are abusers would be sexist. Assuming that everyone from a specific race are abusers is racist. Believing that a disorder, something no one can control having, is abusive makes someone abusive is ableist.
No disorder is just a bunch of abusive people, this is never the case. This is why people with NPD are upset that “narc abuse” is a normalized term, because its harmful. This is also why diagnosing abusers as “narcissistic” unprofessionally or diagnosing yourself with NPD because you have abusive / manipulative / self absorbed behaviors is absolutely inappropriate. It leads people outside of the community to believe that narcissism = abuse, which is absolutely awful and stigmatizing. People with the disorder can be abusive, because everyone has the potential to be abusers.
Instead of using “narcissistic” as a descriptive word for abuse(rs), please describe the actual kind of abuse you’re experiencing (no, it’s not “actually” narcissistic abuse, please reread the post if this was your immediate response).
