Cream cheese or eggs with your salmon?
John Birmingham discusses the big salmon question - cream cheese or scrambles eggs.
Blunt Instrument - by John Birmingham
Hidden danger looms after Trump loses presidential race
Donald Trump has done nothing wrong.
Smashed avo toast our rightful national dish
There is no such thing as twenty-two dollar avocado toast.
In a cynical world, can people still take us by surprise?
Working in the media can make it hard to see the lighter side.
Our new reality: the rising politics of stupid
The flat-earthers and denialists are rising.
Our cherished rights could be gone in a flash
We must stand, and bend over, for a precious Australian tradition.
Everyone is watching my personal fitness hell
How many exercise reminders can you stand?
Government to unveil pointless cost of pointless plebiscite
How much will be given to sweating pig circus of morons?
Fair corporate tax? Hey look, a new iPhone!
Later this week, you'll be freaking out.
Everyday horror of our climate change future
Prepare to pay $8 for a flat white coffee.
Movie magic a smashing opportunity for Brisbane
Can we bring more destructive blockbusters to Brisvegas?
'Off his chops' cop stop could have been less funny
Most of us have been off our chops at one time or another.
They've taken fun out of the census
Thanks Australian Bureau of Statistics, you've ruined everything.
Count the members of the Jedi, we must
Listen to humourless atheists a Jedi does not.
Ghosts of extreme free speech could haunt Twitter
Twitter could suffer from extreme politicization of everything.
Sonia Kruger fed the very danger she fears
It's hard to believe I have to do this again.
The think piece you've been waiting for on Pokemon Go thingies
Pokemon Go thingies have taken over our streets.
Instability's hardly normal, Gerry, but not all bad
A billion dollars doesn't make you smart. It just makes you rich.
Elite survive while young, poor to pay Brexit price
I have a confession to make.
How can Eddie McGuire still think it's funny?
It's Collingwood's decision whether to get rid of Eddie.
Orlando shooting: Prayers from hypocrites don't help
The enemy of my enemy is my friend, as the old saying would have it. Unless they're gay, in which case… awkward!
Men can be feminists, but there is a limit
Can a man really, truly commit to ideal of gender equality?
Reef doomed but our dome will save us
It's a pity. That reef was beautiful. Oh well.
Australia could have its own Donald Trump
Conditions already exist to make it possible in Australia.
The other response to Duncan Storrar's simple question
Comment: As the savage reaction to a seemingly simple question subsided, a new response emerged.
Thanks for paying for my house
Negative gearing creates winners. Probably not you.
Do you still care about returned soldiers today?
Yesterday many remembered. Today many forget.
Something's missing, but it's not Johnny Depp's fault
I woke up yesterday morning to discover my car had been broken into and Johnny Depp was in town. I make no allegations and draw no conclusions about this.
West End is looking like Brisbane's village idiot
South Brisbane crushes as much potential into as small a space as possible. So what went wrong at West End?
Get off your bum, Borobi
"Dude, seriously, let me pack that cone. You're short on thumbs."