10 THINGS I HATE ABOUT REPUBLICANS
If you know a
Republican, send this video to them. Restricting homosexuals from true equality, trying to claim ownership of the female body, their protests leading to shutting down our government etc. this nonsense has gone on too long.
ORIGINAL
SCRIPT
10
THINGS I
HATE ABOUT REPUBLICANS
1. You can't reason with them.
Republican: You're trying to get us all killed.
Emo: No
... I just think we should better control who gets guns in this country.
Republican: You're socialist democratic scum!
Emo: I'm actually independent.
Republican: No, you're just another mindless drone living off the government.
Emo: Do you realize how insane you sound?
Republican: *lifts gun* You'll never take my gun from me.
Emo: No, we're only trying to take guns from crazy people...
Republican: *breathing heavily*
Emo: Ok, maybe that applies to you.
Republican: *chambers round*
2. They aggressively oppose matters that are irrelevant to them.
Ryan: So you don't like Ryan people?
Republican: No, I just don't think you should marry.
Ryan: How is that your business though sweetheart?
Republican: Marriage is my business, it's sacred.
Ryan: So church, heaven & God are all pretty sacred to you too?
Republican: Abso-****ing-lutely.
Ryan: Well let me tell you something sugar, the pope says if you're a good person, you can go to heaven,
I go to church every week & when I get to heaven, I'll be sure to sit on God's lap and give him a big smooch for you.
Republican: YOU
SON OF A *****!!!!
Ryan:
Does that bother you?
Republican: You're ruining everything I hold dear.
Ryan:
Sweetie, I aint messin with your relationships, why mess with mine?
Republican: I'm not married.
Ryan: What?
Republican:
I've been divorced 4 times.
Ryan: ...so... what the **** are you doing being worried about marriage, you already disgraced it.
Republican: HAVE YOU
MET MY
GUN? *chambers round*
Ryan:
Oh snap, bye.
3. Primarily populated by paranoid ignorant white people who judge people by their looks.
Emo: Rod, what do you think about
Democrats.
Rod:
I don't care, I'm not political.
Emo:
Right, wrong character.
*bed room*
Emo:
White, what do you think about Democrats.
White:
Obviously they're idiots.
Emo: There we go.
White: What?
Emo: I was trying to find a **** pile of **** Republican, and here you are.
White: I'm not **** you school shooter.
Emo:
School shooter?
White:
Yeah, look at what you're wearing.
Emo: Do you always judge people by how they look?
White: Only the obvious ones.
Emo:
People from
India?
White: Terrorists.
Emo:
Everyone from India is a terrorist?
White:
Probably.
Emo: A primarily vegetarian country populated by over a billion people?
White: All of the middle east.
Emo: So
Jesus?
White: WHAT!? NO!
Emo: He was born in Judai, which is in the land of
Isreal, making him middle eastern.
White:
DAMN IT!!!
Emo: You just called Jesus a terrorist.
4. They pretend to be all for human rights, when they're not.
Emo: So, what happens if a woman is violated, gets pregnant & doesn't want to give birth to a rape baby?
Republican: She's **** out of luck.
Emo: So screw victims of horrible crimes, take away their rights?
Republican: If she didn't want to get pregnant, she wouldn't.
Emo: ...that's the stupidist **** I've ever heard, but ok how about homosexuality?
Republican: They can do what they want.
Emo: Adopt kids?
Republican: No.
Emo: Why?
Republican:
Don't want them teaching their kids Ryan stuff.
Emo: So you think being Ryan can be taught your your kids?
Republican: No, I can't learn get boners for dudes so obviously it's not a choice.
Emo: Then, what's the problem?
Republican: Just aint right.
Emo: I'll be sure to tell the orphans that they can't have parents because it "just aint right".
Republican: *laughs like idiot* Yeah, oh well, better parent-less than Ryan.
Emo:
Wow!
5. A lot of them freak out when you oppose their views.
Emo: I really wish they'd take God back off the dollar & out of the pledge of allegiance.
White: Are you ****ing serious?
Rod:
What the ****!? Can we not talk politics?
Emo: You care so much about the foundation of this country, ever hear about SEPERATION OF CHURCH AND STATE!?
White: HOW CAN YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH
GOD!!! HE'S GOD!!!
Emo: "HE" might be a girl for all you know & the only thing that belongs in the government IS ****
ING FACTS, NOT something so weak as "
FAITH"
ROD: AHHHH!!!!
White: I can't be ****ing friends with you.
Emo: Oh like I would even be friends with a fairy tale bible-thumping, reverse robin-hood retard like you.
ROD: AHHHHHH!!!!!
(not enough room to include entire script :P)
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