I'm looking for advice from trans and queer people.
I'm very close friends with some trans and queer folks and would love to have them at my small destination wedding.
I also have some immediate family (think siblings and parents, not cousins) that is loudly transphobic on social media that I have a strained relationship with. I feel like if I uninvite one or two, it will cause a lot of family drama that I don't want to deal with on my big day.
I feel like it's an unfair burden to put on my queer friends to be around people who might say some off color things after a few drinks. I'm not confident my family can control themselves even if given boundaries. They would never have the balls to be confrontational in person but may make some stupid "jokes" or remarks.
I've gone low contact with these family members and no contact for over a year in the past. The other immediately family is neutral at best and likely wouldn't support my decision.
I'm really not interested in hearing how it's just a "different opinion" or anything transphobic so you can save those comments. I'm specifically hoping to hear perspective from queer folks. I think I know what the correct decision is, but it's hard when it's close family members. Anyone have experience with this? Any advice?
EDIT:
First of THANK YOU for all the kind and helpful responses. I am thankful that so many of you took time out of your day to give such a measured and thoughtful response. And pleasantly surprised at the lack of dismissive and/or ignorant responses. You are all awesome.
To address a couple questions:
Yes relations with my family have been slowly deteriorating since 2015/16. I'm sure you can all guess why. Before that, things were good between us all. I grieve every day for the relationship I used to have with them. I still keep them around albeit at an arms length partially out of guilt, partially out of hope that maybe things will someday change. I wasn't always a good ally but I listened, learned, and worked on myself. So I know firsthand it's possible to change, but only if you want to.
Why am I looking for queer opinions? Because I have already discussed this with straight friends and their perspective is valuable but they won't be harmed if anything were to go down. I don't want to ask my queer friends for an opinion because I feel this is putting undue burden on them to be responsible for my decision. They didnt ask to be put in that position. However if you are a straight person who has personal experience with this, I would still love to hear how you handled it.
We plan on having around 50 guests. It's destination, but everyone will be booking their own cabins, Airbnbs, campsites. No one will be forced to all stay in the same hotel or resort.
Added context my fiance and I are both cis and white. He supports whatever decision I make.