this is a community like r/AmITheAsshole except unlike that subreddit here you can post interpersonal conflicts, anything that's AITA but is not allowed there even posting about Scar from the lion king and trying to convince redditors that he was not the AH. rules: don't berate others and no pornography we have children here
I got my a highschool hookup “Lily” pregnant when we were both 17 (I’m 18 now). She told me she was on the pill and, like the stupid teen I am, I didn’t use a condom. I don’t know if she lied about being on the pill, or if her pregnancy was the 0.01%, but a month and a half later, Lily and her parents showed up on my doorstep. She was crying happy tears and had a positive pregnancy test in her hands. Her parents were glaring daggers.
We had a sit down conversation with all our parents to talk about what we were going to do. I was adamant that I did not want to be a dad. I wasn’t (still ain’t tbh) ready to be a dad, and practically begged her to get an abortion. My parents even offered to pay for it (with the expectation that I would pay them back in the future), but Lily refused to end the pregnancy. I said that was fine, but I wouldn’t be attending the birth or signing any papers. If she wants a baby that’s fine, but I don’t.
Since Lily have birth, she’s continually asked me for money and to watch the baby. I have refused each time, because I never asked to be a dad and that baby is not my responsibility. I fulfilled my responsibility when my parents offered to pay for an abortion. I didn’t meet “my” son (despite Lily’s efforts) until a week ago.
Anyway, I’ve been accepted into an out of state college and will be moving to my new city very soon. I held a garage sale to get rid of my old junk (with my parents’ permission) and made a social media post about it. I guess one of Lily’s friends was still following me and told her, because Lily showed up at the garage sale with the baby and called me every name in the book because I was “abandoning” her and the baby by moving away for college. I tried to explain, for what has to be the millionth time, that I don’t want to be a dad. She just kept yelling and eventually my parents asked her to leave the property and threatened to call the cops for trespassing. She then left.
The thing is, if I called off my college plans now my life would pretty much be over. I don’t want to stay in the same podunk town for the rest of my life because of a baby I never wanted and isn’t even legally mine. Still, my parents are pressuring me to at least try to build a relationship with Lily and the baby when I’m home on break (probably because my older sister is a childfree lesbian and Lily’s baby is their only biological grandchild). I don’t want to build any relationship because I don’t want to be a fucking dad! I don’t get what’s so hard to understand about that, but everyone from my parents to random kids I haven’t spoken to in years have been badgering me nonstop to get involved in the baby’s life. AITAH?
Edit: alright alright, y’all can stop telling me that I don’t know how the law works, clearly I’ve got the message. I’m gonna talk to an attorney and sign away my parental rights, clearly my cursory google wasn’t enough. I’m going to college for engineering, not law, give me a break.
I'm a 30 year old woman and as I got to my late 20s I realized that if I want to be thin (like average/healthy thin, not super skinny, just not fat) I have to pay attention to what I eat pretty much every single day, all day long. I'm always hungry and up for eating snacks so 24/7 I have to be vigilent and make sure I'm not eating too much.
I cook nearly all my meals and it's mostly vegetarian food and limited oil/sugar, I don't drink soda ever, I never eat fast food, I eat junk food occasionally (probably once per week I make a bad decision like eating a bag of crisps), I do drink alcohol but not a crazy amount. I could easily eat like 3x the portion sizes of what I'm supposed to have for each meal, like it might be tofu and rice and veggies but I could eat a lot of it.
Is this just what it will be like for the rest of my life? I have to stay vigilent and think about what I'm eating every day 24/7 or be overweight? Are the thin people around me having to be careful with everything they eat every day and that's how they stay thin?
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Edit: It would be useful to know if people responding are men or women as it might be quite different