Diego Lopez

@thisdiegolopez

comedian • mma instructor/bjj black belt • model w/ • host • • Ⓥ

Brooklyn
linktr.ee/Thisdiegolopez
Joined December 2009
4,795 Photos and videos Photos and videos

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  1. Pinned Tweet
    4 Feb 2019

    Instead of a birthday clown, hire me to expose how bad children are at Judo. I will also do balloon animals!

    242 replies 8,402 retweets 53,047 likes
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  2. Retweeted
    32 minutes ago

    making little kids fall>>>>>>

    0:16
    Instead of a birthday clown, hire me to expose how bad children are at Judo. I will also do balloon animals!
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    1 reply 2 retweets 12 likes
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  3. 8 hours ago

    I pride myself on how chill I can be when I bump into an ex in public who’s with a new person. “Oh hey what’s up! Yeah I’m good (envisioning our life together) Hey man, nice to meet you, I’m Diego (I could fucking kill you) Good seeing you too take it easy (unblock me already)

    1 reply 3 retweets 95 likes
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  4. Oct 30

    As a holiday, Halloween is 100x hornier than Valentine’s Day. Nothing like candy corn and fog machines to set the mood.

    4 replies 10 retweets 97 likes
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  5. Oct 30

    I’m not deleting this.

    1 reply 10 likes
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  6. Oct 30

    Leaving a portable dvd player showing all of Rodney Dangerfield’s Carson appearances at my front door for trick or treaters with a sign that says, “3 jokes per kid”

    1 reply 2 retweets 52 likes
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  7. Oct 30

    You gotta stay hydrated

    1 reply 2 retweets 50 likes
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  8. Oct 30

    For the love of god check out my podcast it’s all I have

    1 reply 4 retweets 145 likes
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  9. Retweeted
    Oct 30

    🔟/🔟

    Impressing a girl who owns cats on our date by eating so fast I throw up
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    1 reply 1 retweet 11 likes
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  10. Oct 30

    Seeing ig stories of friends hanging out at the one event I couldn’t go to: OH, I’M SORRY I DIDN’T REALIZE COVID WAS OVER!!!

    1 reply 2 retweets 60 likes
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  11. Retweeted
    Oct 30

    Hell yes 🥰🎉

    I had wifi for about an hour this week and used it to download It was worth it
    1 retweet 10 likes
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  12. Retweeted
    Oct 29

    I was getting on the train but i forgot my mask and this is all i had on me

    This media may contain sensitive material. Learn more
    4 retweets 51 likes
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  13. Oct 29

    I’m crying and screaming now, she’s asking for a 2nd date

    11 replies 11 retweets 1,468 likes
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  14. Retweeted
    Oct 29

    Walking up to every cop tonight and telling them their costume is terrible.

    1 reply 5 retweets 86 likes
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  15. Oct 29

    Impressing a girl who owns cats on our date by eating so fast I throw up

    122 replies 10,320 retweets 138,740 likes
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  16. Oct 29

    🤷🏻‍♂️ say when

    1 retweet 17 likes
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  17. Oct 29

    Tfw they laugh at a joke you wrote

    82 likes
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  18. Retweeted
    Oct 29

    I hate to do this but I wrote a spec script for That 90's Show and would love it if I could secure a 6-figure writing job with it

    5 replies 13 retweets 131 likes
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  19. Retweeted
    Oct 29

    I want to get stronger so less of life hurts but it hurts to get stronger but I don’t want life to hurt so much so I’ll get stronger but that is painful but life hurts all the time and I guess if I lift more and do more cardio I’ll be stronger so less of life hurts and

    6 retweets 30 likes
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  20. Retweeted
    Oct 29

    Florida achieved lower COVID rates in the same way Columbine achieved smaller class sizes.

    1 reply 7 retweets 55 likes
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  21. Retweeted
    Oct 29

    pedophile Dracula

    4 replies 6 retweets 70 likes
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