idk. just feel scared. what if i die. i want someone to read the things i’ve written and find the songs i’ve made and the persona i have online and the art i’ve made and i want to be buried not as deadname beloved daughter but as timur beloved son. i get so scared i will never say the things i need to say before i’m dead.

there’s a trans guy at my school who just started being more open recently, got his name in the databases changed and whatnot. i’ve known him for a while. i guess i really am happy for him. and it makes me feel like the school would be accepting enough if i came out. i just don’t want to come across as fake if i come out right after he did. i’ve known who i am for a long time. from what i know longer than this guy. it’s not a competition but i feel like i’m getting anxious subconsciously thinking it is. if i wait, i’ll be fake for not knowing sooner and if i don’t i’m just hopping on the trend another trans person started. i literally cannot. keyboard slam.

bottom dysphoria text

i don’t know, i just feel upset. i’ve started rewriting something i had the idea for a while ago, the issue (?) (or maybe complication is a better word) is that the story doesn’t quite function unless it’s set in a specific place, which is a totally different part of the world from where i’m used to, which has led to me doing much research on how to accurately portray society and whatnot. this includes doing research on lgbt+ rights in different countries because i want to make the story realistically diverse where not everyone is cishetalloperi (actually kind of does roll off the tongue lol) and all right but like OMG I’M TRYING TO GET ACCURATE REP AND IT’S JUST

DEPRESSINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

and i genuinely
i just can’t

the childish part of my mind thinks “do people hate us?” as if it’s even a question worth asking. they do. sigh. it really makes me sad and angry to see lgbt+ infighting cus so many of us r just suffering and g-ddammit we just need to fucking help each other. it’s NOT a complex concept.

stop fucking arguing about who’s validder and who’s giving us a bad name and fucking just be there for each other. fucking just fight for each other. please.

where like you have to understand everyone’s got freedom to do whatever the hell they want, and that they have no obligation to you, but at the same time, if you morally could, you would completely keep them to yourself, so that nothing bad could ever happen to them and they would always be, like… yours? and of course that shit’s immoral as fuck, but like… you know, you just don’t want them to ever not be where you are. like everyone’s paths cross a little bit, but this one person, you want to slow them down right at those crossroads for longer than you’re supposed to?

Soft-stormgender. A xenogender connected to the feeling of safety and warmth that comes from being inside during a winter storm, by a fireplace or tucked under blankets while it’s raining or snowing.

The top stripe (bright purple, #a200ff) symbolizes warmth, as well as femininity and feminine presentation/genders; the second stripe (white, #ffffff) symbolizes the purity and nostalgia of the concept, as well as androgyny, non-binary identities, and lack of gender; the third stripe (aqua, #00f2ff) symbolizes peace, as well as masculinity and masculine presentation/genders. For the lower stripes, the fourth stripe down (navy blue, #473795) symbolizes cold weather; the fifth stripe down (blue-tinted off-white, #f1ffff) symbolizes clouds and snow; and the bottom stripe (gray-blue with some green hues, #a7dcdc) symbolizes the rain.

Feel free to use the flag for pfps, flag-inspired art, wallpapers, etc., and use the term in bios and whatnot, but please credit me if somebody asks about it.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　How You Like That　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Overall, I didn’t mind How You Like That, but, like most people, I didn’t quite like the production. I feel like it could’ve been improved a lot with a little bit more of a bass-filled undertone-ish thing. I was also a bit critical of the way it started out as a sort of… sad-sounding (albeit a bit plain) song… and then went into badassery. And lastly for the negative aspects, the whole cultural appropriation thing with the statue of Ganesh kind of irked me, although that had more to do with the music video than the song itself and I doubt was on the girls.

(Little rant on that: Who was like “let’s put this statue of Ganesh here” without thinking it would be a good day to know a thing about Ganesh? I’m so……..)

On the upside, I loved the actual vocals and rap (especially Lisa’s part and the “Look at you, now look at me”s). I just felt like they belonged in different songs, and the production didn’t link them together. However, I really actually liked the way the chorus’s instrumental was, contrary to most people’s opinions.

7/10

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　Ice Cream (w/ Selena Gomez)　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Eh. Wouldn’t listen to this for fun, but just because it isn’t my taste. The one thing I did like was Rose’s parts (and the way the instrumental changed during Lisa’s part was cool), but other than that… It just wasn’t my cup of 🍵tea🍵. I… Ok, there is no respectful way to say this, fuck those little whistle things in the back. They remind me of… Kahoot or some shit. Something I would make at age 9. And all the high-pitched vocals also weren’t my thing. Now that I’m thinking about it again, I kind of liked the lyrics. They weren’t as bad as people acted like they were. At least they meant something.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

4/10

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　Pretty Savage　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

By far my favorite song off the album. The production was great, the delivery was great, everything was great although I’m not a huge fan of the “oh-oh-oh”s. Other than that, it’s all… Perfect.

10/10

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　Bet You Wanna (ft. Cardi B)　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

This song wasn’t totally my style, but it would’ve been ok without Cardi B. I guess… She’s just a bad person. So songs with her in them are always difficult for me to enjoy. It’s cool the collab happened, but not really. I also didn’t really like her verse, it just didn’t seem right in the song. I would’ve liked the song more without it. :/

Even without the verse, this was kind of a song that reeked of potential but that wasn’t quite right. So I guess… I kind of liked it?

6/10

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　Lovesick Girls　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

This is my second favorite song on the album probably, only because Pretty Savage was an uncontrollable bop (that word *semi-ironic sksksksksking*). The “born to be alone” seemed kind of generic, but I really liked the rap especially. The music video was also really cool. It reminded me of the “Stay” M/V.

The guitars had a nice 2NE1 style to them (so did Pretty Savage. I guess I just like the 2NE1 style a lot lol).

I also feel like even though the song wasn’t upbeat, it was a pretty complex song, and typically when those have a… I guess I call it the “clearance”, where the beat gets less complex and someone just sings in a pure style close to the closing part of the song. I’m sure there’s a real word for it. As I was saying, I feel like sometimes clearances in an otherwise complex song are not my thing, but I liked how it was done here. Also, the lyrics were pretty good.

9/10

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　Crazy Over You　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Another favorite! The instrumental… Oh my God 😳 so many levels of amazing. I really liked the opening, it set a good scene. Also, I felt like this song was a good showcase of Lisa’s style. Really, just… Everything about this was so cool. I haven’t payed much attention to the lyrics so I can’t say this factually, but it really had a yandere vibe to it, and considering how much of a shitbag that YanSim guy is, the term “yandere” needs a new image hehehehe~

I think I was rather critical of How You Like That for having too many parts that didn’t sound like they belonged together, and while I did kind of feel that for some parts of Crazy Over You, I mainly actually appreciated the diverse styles that repeated throughout the song.

8/10

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　Love To Hate Me　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

At first, this seemed way too generic, with the clapping sounds (is that the word? Lmfao this review has me noticing how many dumb terms I use in my heard which probably aren’t even that accurate). As soon as those sounds sped up, I was like, oh shit, it’s about to keep being generic by leading up to the generic-ass chorus with this…

But then that didn’t happen! And I really liked the way the chorus part was formed! Kind of made me visualize a sort of canyon of sound (more wack terminology) at first… I’ll admit that vision got a bit crushed by the next part, but it was cool while it lasted.

The chorus and the section around it was my favorite, and also the rap… I’m really appreciating the rap on this album, lol.

8/10

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　You Never Know　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

While I do feel like the album needed a song like You Never Know and I think it was a good decision to make it the closing song, I probably wouldn’t listen to this on my own time, you know? There was a lot of talent in it, but it seemed like the typical high-note-filled kind of sad bright white and pastel pink and blue (lol trans pride uwu) song… Yeah that doesn’t make sense, but hopefully anyone who reads this understands the style of song I am describing.

7/10

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　Overall, The Album　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Average score:  7.375/10. I guess this sums up the quality of the songs, but I would actually give this album a 7.5 or 8 out of ten. My little BLINK heart went crazy when I saw the tracklist poster, because although there are only 8 songs, we’ve waited a long time for this and it made me very happy and no I did not cry what are you talking about shut up.

I also really liked the arrangement of the songs, and I liked that Jisoo and Jennie had credits on the lyrics and Jennie did some of the production. 🥺

I really enjoyed the album. 🖤💟

for changing your situation or making a leap if it means helping your state of mind positive & clear.

so maybe some context is necessary. i was talking with a transphobe because i don’t value my sanity or time, and the person was saying, basically, “trans people are fine as long as they don’t medically transition” so i ask why the fuck she thinks that, because tbh it’s nonsensical.

the answer was that God created us a certain way and we must not change it. and you know? it isn’t that i don’t think we were created a certain way, or even that this wasn’t the fault of a higher power, but that her argument is pathetic.

pathetic in the purest sense of the word.

sad.

something to feel bad for.

the belief that you were made with issues and that you shouldn’t try to change them or do anything to alleviate suffering because it’s just destiny. that’s pathetic. that’s depressing.

NEVER feel bad for doing what you need to do to make yourself feel good. also trans rights uwu.