Elliott Gould (born Elliott Goldstein; August 29, 1938) is an American actor. He began acting in Hollywood films during the 1960s, and has remained prolific ever since. Some of his most notable films include M*A*S*H and Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice, for which he received an Oscar nomination. In recent years, he has starred as Jack Geller on Friends and as Reuben Tishkoff in Ocean's Eleven, Ocean's Twelve, and Ocean's Thirteen.
Gould was born in Brooklyn, New York, the grandson of Jewish immigrants from Eastern Europe. His mother, Lucille (née Raver), sold artificial flowers to beauty shops, and his father, Bernard Goldstein, worked in the garment business. He graduated from the Professional Children's School.
Gould was one of the most prominent American film actors in the early-1970s, best known for playing Trapper John in Robert Altman's satirical 1970 film MASH. Time magazine placed him on one of its covers in 1970, when he was at the brief height of his long career, calling him a "star for an uptight age".
Chicken bone - in my neck
I can't breathe - what the heck
Butter knife impales my throat
Through the slit - I start to choke
Plastic straw - held with gum
EMERGENCY TRACHEOTOMY
Has been done
Waiting for the ambulance
I get bored and start to play
I take the peas from my plate
Load the straw and fire away
Waiting for the ambulance
I get bored and start to play
Emergency - Tracheotomy
Can be fun - you better run
Waiting for the ambulance
I get bored and start to play
I take the peas from my plate
Load the straw and fire away
Shooting people in their eyes
Is so much fun, the pain subsides
Launching peas from my neck
Blinds the waitress who drops the check
Waiting for - the ambulance
I get bored and start to play
Emergency Tracheotomy
Can be fun - you better run - you better run
Waiting for - the ambulance
I get bored and start to play
I take the peas from my plate
Load the straw and fire away
It's so much fun the pain subsides
Launching peas from neck
Blinds the waitress who drops the check
Chicken bone - in my neck
I can't breathe - what the heck
Butter knife - impales my throat
Through the slit - I start to choke
Plastic straw - held with gum
Emergency - Tracheotomy
Has been fun
Do ya... wanna do some crack?
Do ya wanna drop a log?
Do ya prefer to pick your nose?
Or would ya rather mouse a hog?
The bathroom is a holy place
I can wack-off without disgrace
What! There's no paper? I don't care
I'll wipe my ass with my underwear
The bathroom is a holy place
I can wack-off without disgrace
There's so many games to play in here
Like "Bombs away in the hollow chair"
It's a place I can think
Projects chunks in the sink
So many things to do in there
You can't see me - so I don't care
BATHROOMS RULE!!!
Die in your beauty sleep
Where is grandma? It's time to eat...
Perhaps in the bathroom, trying to excrete...
She's not on the throne, where can she be?
Maybe in the living room, watching TV...
Not in here either, where did she go?
Someone find her soon, the roast is getting cold...
OK - no one panic - we musn't dispair...
I've got a feeling she's somwhere upstairs...
Now I'm getting mad - where's that senile loon?
The only place left, is in the bedroom
Open the door, hear the wretched snore...
AHAAA!!
GRANDMA'S SLEEPING
GRANDMA'S SLEEPING
NO SHE'S NOT
NO SHE'S NOT
SHE'S DYING IN HER BEAUTY SLEEP
SHE'S DYING IN HER BEAUTY SLEEP
ALMOST DEAD...... ALMOST DEAD
Now we have to bury grandma...
Now we have to bury grandma...
Now we have to bury grandma...
Stripped of my wings
Falling
Water the brain
Under the skin
Broken
Empty vein
Fix me
Empty my vein
Withdraw
Flushing the brain
Lower than low
Refill
Empty vein
Catch me
Someone catch me now
Before I hit the ground
I cannot fly today
Someone took my wings away
Draining the vein
Withdraw
Under the skin
Broken [x2]
Gaze upon me with wide young eyes
Look beyond my glow and find... me
Why don't you look inside?
Why can't you look inside?
Why don't you try?
Why don't you try to find me?
Why can't you try to find me?
Why don't you look?
No one loved me...
Marzuraan / marzuraan
Screaming faces on his hand
Marzuraan / marzuraan
Bastard taking what he can
Marzuraan has a plan
Leave me drowning in the sand
Marzuraan / marzuraan
Bastard... I am marzuraan
Screaming faces
On my hand
I am
Marzuraan
Screaming faces
On my hand
I am
Marzuraan
He like
I take
I am...
Marzuraan / marzuraan
Bastard taking what I can
Marzuraan has a plan
Leave me drowning in the sand
(He like / I take)
Marzuraan is who I am
Marzuraan is who we are
Who am I and who are we?
Why we are, I don't know why
While I wait... I will fly
Explore my mind / destroy my mind
elbmessasiD
Who am I and who are we?
Why we are, I don't know why
While I wait... I will fly
Explore my mind / destroy my mind
elbmessasiD / elbmessasid
Human private is me
We are the vertebrates...
Lepers without feet
Hopping down the street
Walking on their knees
Doing as they please
Lepers without brains
Diving out of planes
Plunging through the sky
Thinking they could fly
Lepers without hair
Tumbling down the stairs
Turning into dust
Laughing is a must
Lepers without hands
Lying in the sand
Baking in the sun
I want mine well-done
Those zany lepers that have no feet
They fall apart -- in the street
Don't have much skin to call their own
It peels away -- revealing bone
Those crazy lepers, they are so neat
They fell apart in the street
All those lepers, they have no feet
FALL APART!!
When we were young - it was only a game
You would win - at everything
Chilhood rivalry - developed and grew
Games became battles - the I would always lose
Now you're a big shot - controlling my life
Causing me nothing - but pain and strife
But I know your weakness - you haven't a friend
Except from your puppy - who soon will be dead
Here is your puppy's head
Your only friend - bloody red
It's all your fault - it is dead
Tides have turned - now you lose
If you want the rest
It's too late - there's nothing left
Mangled poodle - makes good stew
I ruined your life - I laugh as I chew
happy day again today i died with you again today
the sun will burn again today you and i will drown my
friend today is here again today and you will kill me
again today i will kill you again today is here again
today happy day
i was not waving
i was drowning
i laugh when i think of it
you laugh as i cry
I smile as you pull me under
you cry as i drown
from the shore i can feel you pull me under while
i pull you
i'm happy and why not?
i've had days like this
who is the freak now?
who is the freak? i am.
where is the freak?
under the bridge
bury the freak
under the bridge
Your body's lowered in the ground
Worms become your carcass bound
Nibbling on your skin and then
Munching on the meat within
Life is over - now you're dead
Worms are crawling through your head
The worms crawl in - the worms crawl out
They consume your body and poop you out
now i see
what i hate
now i hate
what i see
see myself and what i hate
now i hate
what i see
all must cease what a shame
why go on What's the Point?
worthless breath dissipates
wasted thoughts
blinding sun
Body turn to ash turn to memory
Body turn to ash turn to memory
Disconnect self
Crashing
Bleeding
Melting
Freak out
Disconnect self
Let the mind ascend
Soar through the sky
Let the mind ascend
Leave the pain behind
Let the mind ascend
Watch the body die
Body turn to ash turn to memory
Body turn to ash turn to memory
Forever high...
Wax the boner [x4]
Wax the boner - put it in
Piercing cobwebs - deep within
Stabbing maggots - penis red
Moldy Oldy - in my bed
Lube the lizard - pelvic thrust
Hard to breathe - inhaling dust
Can't hold back - time to spunk
Corpse of granny - full of gunk
[repeat entire verse 3 times]
She walks around in her robe
To hide her bag of shit
Colostomy bag, reeks of crud
Embedded in her hip
Screaming at the bitch
She took my parking spot
I caught a whif of colostomy
And took off bown the block
Almost one month later
I saw her in the park
Perfect time for revenge
It was after dark
Hiding in the bushes
As she's walking by
Jumping out on the path
I piss into her eye
Blinded with urea
Stupid smelly bag
I took my hands with all my might
And squeezed her colostomy bag
She spun around about ten times
Until she heaved up brown
Leaving her all embarrassed
In a putrib mound
I will not die...
Fate I deny [x2]
Outlive
Outlive humanity
Outlive
Outlive wind & rain
Outlive
Outlive earth & sea
Outlive
Outlive the galaxy
I foresee my destiny...
Is to live through eternity
Whatever awaits will have to wait
Time itself will deteriorate
Before me
I will not die...
Fate I deny
[PART 1 CREYAP'NILLA]
restricted in
dejected skin
the only love
from within
sunken in
split in two
the skin and you
shrivel shape
masturbate
no love so you
compensate
[PT. 2 GLITCH]
Peel away and emerge [x175]
The judge blows the whistle, and everyone falls down..
Crutches in the air - braces on the ground...
The crowd begins to laugh, at the helpless tarts...
No pity for the freaks, because they're fun to watch...
There are:
Retarts in potato sacks
One-legged amputees lying on their backs
Stupid fucking mongoloids drowning in the pool
Parapalegics in their chairs - all they do is drool
[Repeat]
NO LIMBS - NO FEET
NO LIPS - CAN'T EAT
CAN'T WALK - CAN'T SEE
NO COCK - CAN'T PEE [x2]
Half of them have died, when the day is over...
No trophies given out, 'cause all of them are LOSERS...
listen and you'll hear a thought bending light,
i think a thought can't focus on just one thought
flesh crawls with envy when they laugh
they stare why don't they just go away look and you'll see a
thought
i know i saw a laugh
Where are my dentures...
I can't find my dentures...
Where are my dentures...
I really need my dentures...
Where are my dentures...
What the fuck are dentures?
Where are my dentures..
I can't find my dentures...
[Repeat verse]
I can't remember anything!!!
Oh, when I was but a lad
I was as sharp as a tack
But now I'm old and I can't seem
To remember where I put my
Things... why me?
I mean - I'm supposed to be wise..
I'm old, I'm supposed to be wise
Now, what was I looking for?
Oh yeah! My bowling ball
Well, what do you know
It's right here - you see
I'm not senile
I found my bowling ball
I FOUND MY BOWLING BALL!!
Time to retreat into dream
Time to leave the world I've seen
Time to lose myself in dream
Perish the thought of awakening
Because they lie
And they cheat
And they steal
Steal from me
Because they tread
And they spit
And they shit
Shit on me
(I close my eyes)
Pretending dead in my sleep
Praying for my mind to keep
Kill the sandman hear him weep
Subconscious longing for eternal sleep
Half way between here and there
Knowing now they don't care
No one said life was fair
So I fade away...
Fade away out of sight
Shooting spirals casting light
Jellied creatures watch them flight
But the sun will never rise
half way between here and there
Knowing now they don't care
No one said life was fair
it's an endless repetition- the better half dismisses
itself and isolates us both...it's an endless repetition
where the shadow goes it's hard to follow. when
this happens, it's time to bleed again and again...
making love to my shadow
yesterday was tomorrow
today will be yesterday
at night the shadow goes away
so i stab
Look at the total hag reaming an
even older can of catfood...
Hear the flies buzzing through her
bodily openings, bringing with them
the coolest diseases...
Sometimes these flies get caught in the
cobwebs that are draped across her armpits...
LET'S PAY A VISIT TO THE TOTAL HAG
Look and see her age-spots and her
vericous veins...
Just taste the frozen green icicle
hanging off her nostril...
Hear the wheezing cough filling up
the air projecting her diseases...
I've had enough of this...
FELLAS LET'S GO TORMENT THE TOTAL HAG
Hunchback Turkeyneck Prune-tit Sag...
Let's pay A visit To the Total hag...
Garbage can Catfood Newspaper Bag...
Come on Let's go Let's go The total hag...
THE TOTAL HAG SMELLS LIKE MOTHBALLS [repeat at least 1000 times]
I like to scare the prune-tit scag
Drop a match in her shopping bag
Kick her in her Rickets, push her in the road
Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! I laugh at the total hag...
In the supermarket with my mother at my side
Lurkin in the frozen foods was something that made me cry
A disfigured "being", limping down the aisle
Reached down, patted my head and greeted me with a smile...
MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY!
MOMMMYYYYYYYYYYYY!
where are the rebel plans, Luke?