who deserves a good slap?!

more slapees back nominations: your votes weird ones fuckwits nominate!

So, who do you reckon is worthy of a place in the virtual face smacking gallery?!! Fill in the slap nomination form and we'll post up the best of the comments we get - and if we really like it, we'll set up a working version for you to slap away to your heart's content! Please note: racist, sexist, homophobic remarks are not welcome Jules Oliver She's a hanger on, she's a nobody who can't seem to keep her mug off his show, and why she's not adding anything to it.... the word star fucker comes to mind when I think of her, as does dim, wannabe and useless. She's a poor man's prop suzanne@bullseyepost.com Freddie Star Talentless slimy ass sucker that ought to be tied down and have his arse pumped with a hoard of hamsters. This blond haired medalioned moron made his fame by pumping out his uniquely bad, sexist, racist and sleazy brand of 'madcap humour' in working men's clubs throughout the north of england, before inflicting this pernicious filth on national TV. Line up to give this wanker a good slap. alexbizarre@hotmail.com Tony Parsons Because he reminds me of all those smug posh twits that used to infest my school back in the early 80s. Self appointed avatar of contemporary culture. You could add Melvin Bragg to the list as well. I despise their pompous platitudes and cringing attempts to speak for the masses.Thinking about it I would like to virtualy slap the entire cast of late review on BBC2, except Tom Pauline. He just needs help...a lot of help paulgasmask66@virgin.net Richard Littlejohn (the Sun) this bitter, twisted moron surely deserves nothing more than a damn good kicking. his ignorant, bigoted rants in the Sun, and, in slightly more long-winded but no less racist form, the Times, show there is no other option. Except lock him away in a darkened room with Bushell for a month. Maybe. Rob rob_w@another.co.uk Fred Durst For single handedly re-creating everything that grunge managed to destroy. A thirty- something, big-shorts wearing, WWF sponsored arse-hole of the very first order. My Generation? Your generation stopped deciding what was cool some time ago and should now, by rights, be collecting it's creativity pension. Turn your cap the right way round, wear some sensible trousers and 'keep rollin' into the sunset. While you're at it, take that dickhead in the rubber skeleton costume with you too. treforsmith@hotmail.com Richard Gere What'd the poor, innocent hamster ever do to you? Stinky perv. hakeem olajuwon, koopatroopa@msn.com Victoria & David Beckham She's a talentless skinny freak, he's a Mr 'I don't want attention' but OH I'll wear a bloomin sarong, mohican harcut AND pour tomato sauce on me heid then whine that he gets no privacy!' AND the tabloids seem to think skirt wearing footballers and skinny, shopaholic spice girls are the UK's trendsetters? Beggars belief, please do the right thing and turn em into two lovely punchbags asap! gizmo_ferguson@yahoo.com Jamie Theakston, Lanky, smug, dribbling, coke-head. Get a fucking shave you simpering mongoloid git and make sure you cut your throat while you're at it! A stoop like Quasimodo, Junky eye-bags and less talent than one of Russ Abbot's crack whore groupies is not enough to justify this man's existence. He's not even man enough to carry the lions share of that pathetic Priory show: god know that while some of it is Theakston's most of it is certainly Balls. Tom Brundle CAROL VORDERMAN Every single 'an audience with (some old talentless twat)' There she is, dancing and looking like a middle aged mid life crises idiot slapper. I would like to see Vordermans Better Homes DIY gang redecorating with hint of vorderman brain, or in vorderman spleen red. Gillies WGJ01@hotmail.com limp bizkit For releasing the horrible plague of Nu metal on the unsuspecting masses of the world. Being a rock fan ,I had spent the last couple of years waiting for harder rock to make a comeback. If only I known then, what hot flaming turds were about to hurled upon the world. Nu Metal = lazy ass surburban kids who wanna be ghetto. I am all for the mixing of styles and cultures in music. But if you mix shit rock with shit rapping with a shit DJ ,you get an especially nasty brand of shit called Nu Metal. Im just waiting for this stupid little trend to past, but in the meantime lets all get together and strip Fred Durst or Durtz whatever, out of his stupid Addidas jumpsuit and bash him into the bad music hell where he belongs Bababoomuc@hotmail.com Keith Chegwin He is a slimy, weasely porky man with all the talent and appeal of my Mother's private bits. Not only does he present the god awful Sale Of The Century but he even deemed himself worth enough to strip off for channel five. Banish him to slapdom. blossom@brownj.fsnet.co.uk Spike Milligan If there ever was an old git who hangs around longer than a fart in a phone box doing his risidual "funny" voices over and over left over from the 1950's it would be Spike Milligan. Many media critics describe him as a comic genius yet listening to his purely nauseating and repetitive act of saying idiotic lines with silly voices is akin to listening to someone scratching a blackboard with their nails. So, give him a good virtual battering before he begins his incoherant mumbling routine again. Phil Elias, pipelias@yahoo.com Claire Short ...for openly supporting GATS and the WTO and the IMF and the world bank. and for denouncing antiglobalisation protesters as "backward", "reactionary" and "protectionist", accusing us of "hindering and not helping the poor". And for pretending to be left wing. Hugh Jones hsbj2@cam.ac.uk Anne Widdecombe British politician who looks like a cross between Frankenstein's monster and the back end of a number 42 bus. She's still a virgin at the age of 55 cos no self-respecting bloke on the planet would poke her with a 20ft barge pole. A total and utter reactionary who still thinks Thatcherism is valid currency in British political life. Even her own colleagues cross the road when they see her coming cos she's a loose cannon and if she gets so much as a sniff at real political power in a government I'll be the first out on a plane from Heathrow out of this country ian@enivel.demon.co.uk Coronation Street This execrable british soap opera has dominated the prime time slot on ITV for over 40 years. It went past it's sell by date about 20 years ago, so what did they do, turn it into 4 nights a week and an omnibus edition, and a cable channel dedicated solely to re-running the entire archive. This sad program is indicative of a nation that's turned into a geriatric-ward. It may have been pertinant and relevant when the Luftwaffe was bombing this country, but in the 21st century it's a pitiful, sad, nostalgic pile of shyte that's denigrated the citizens of the north of England and is hi-jacked occasionally by royals/politicos to ram the establishment message down the throat of millions of people who can't think for themselves anymore cos they've been born/weaned/reached adulthood/died watching this utter garbage which is designed to keep you dumbed-down and compliant till the day you die! I come from Manchester and an ashamed that this crud originates from there. ian@enivel.demon.co.uk Richard Stilgoe So called 'witty' ditties. Pathetic attempts at 'amusing' anagrams? This gnome- like bearded arsehole needs a serious battering... djtonge@hotmail.com Slipknot Oh yes, they're just WAY too hardcore for me (note the sarcasm). This band of 45 year old guys who need a good waxing on their arses have absolutely no talent. They are a disgrace to the genre of rock and all of its divisions. Actually, I don't even know if Slipknot can be considered rock....more like screaming 'fuck you' a bunch of times and banging on a bass drum and a 20" crash cymbol. Plus, their masks scare the schiznack outta me. whatthefudge@ack.com The Manic Street Preachers Never before has a band with such social conscience been corrupted so much by the evil of pie. 'Can't anyone write a protest song?' I thought that was meant to be your bloody job. Look, you were good, you got a bit worse and now you sound like bloody Pink Floyd. No, like a whining, pissy Bryan Adams with a fucking toothache. Stop. Just stop. treforsmith@hotmail.com Want more? Click here!

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