Spending hundreds of thousands of dollars was supposed to be fun – like a kid in a very big candy store; like someone who's just been given a very big gift card; like window shopping, only you're actually buying the window.
But this whole house-buying thing sucks.
I'm late to the party when it comes to buying a first home. At 46, I'm grateful for the government's potential contributions, but I'm fast finding out why I haven't taken the offer up earlier.
Psychology surveys say moving house ranks alongside death (someone else's) as the most stressful moments in life.
Here are a few reasons buying a house rates a close second – and perhaps a few rookie errors I've made along the way.
1. Call me, for crying out loud!
It's remarkable the number of sales folk who won't return a phone call. I'm doing what you ask, guys – responding to that little internet widget which says "contact agent".
Agents at display villages are no better. Granted, we've discovered a couple – yep, I only need two fingers to count them – who have been extremely good, and they're the ones who'll get our business if we can get our heads around the prospect of throwing a whole lot of money down the tube while we wait for walls to appear.
For those following this rant closely, you'll question why I've been throwing money down the rental tube for so many years. Your point is duly noted, thank you.
2. I thought I was helping by opening my options
"Where are you thinking to build/buy?" agents will ask.
"Where do you think I should build/buy?" I ask.
It's not a rude response. I really don't care exactly where I live. If my family and I are living in the house of our dreams, we're flexible – and willing to commute. Surely that's an accommodating attitude?
Nope.
Building agents want you to have a piece of land. Sales agents want you to be committed to their area. It's a catch 22.
So, I've changed my tune and it's proving a lot simpler: "I have pre-finance approval. I want to buy in this suburb, ideally this street, and if you can help me find a nice bargain, preferably on the high side of the road."
For builders: "I have pre-finance approval, and a piece of land. How can you help me spend my money with you?"
3. I thought real estate agents were supposed to sell stuff
One of the good agents said: "Well, I'm not here to eat sandwiches."
A conversation with one of the others went something like this:
Me: "Hey mate, can you send me a disclosure plan on that piece of land you've got for sale?"
Agent: "Nope, owners haven't provided one."
Me: "Can you ask them for one?"
Agent: "Sure, but why don't you have a look at it first and give me another call?"
Me: "Done that. Can you ask the owners for a disclosure plan?"
Agent: "I can send you what I have."
Me: "Does that include a disclosure plan?"
Agent: "Nope."
Face palm!
4. Real estate agents (not all of them) are dodgy
I haven't recorded how many phone calls I've made to ask about a listed property, only to find it's "under contract", or "sorry mate, forgot to take that down – it's sold."
The next line's a beauty: "But I have X, Y or Z, which might be of interest."
So, agents are leaving their properties on advertising sites, regardless of their status, in an effort to attract interest from potential buyers. In Sydney, the trick is to advertise a property "from" a price $50,000 lower than what the owner will actually accept, again a con to get people in the door.
My message to agents: I'm looking for the best house I can find. I want your calls. I want your emails. But I also want a little bit of honesty.
5. Investors are killing first-home buyers
It's known that first-home buyers are usually looking in the price band of between $400,000 and $600,000 in Brisbane.
It would also seem investors also like the $400,000-$600,000 price band.
The difference is, investors don't always inspect properties. They don't have to live in it.
This means while the discerning first-home buyer is looking at Sunday's list of inspections, taking lots of notes and measuring whether the fridge might fit, the one they really liked on Saturday has already been shovelled into someone's superannuation portfolio.
Now that I've got that off my chest, anyone know of a nice three- or four-bedder for sale with a pool?
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