Oh my Lord, these people are so stupid. Like, really really stupid.

Both of them, actually. Happy Valentine’s. This is a particularly good day to post this one, from a great day of campaigning for HRC in New Hampshire in August.

…and he may well be. 

What did Trump know, and when did he know it?

Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, freed from captivity at the White House, returns home.

[The scene: the Oval Office. Justin Trudeau and Donald Trump have just completed their photo-op in the Rose Garden. Gerald Butts and Steve Bannon are present to take notes.]

Trump: Wow! I’m exhausted! That photo-op wore me out! [Brightening.] Wanna go check out some peeler bars, Justy? Putin owns a few really good ones here in town! [Pause.] Don’t tell anyone that, okay? It’s a big secret. Big.

Trudeau [Bewildered but polite]: Actually, Mr. President, I was hoping we could discuss bilateral issues, like trade and security…

Trump [Waving his tiny hands around]: Fuck that! That stuff is for Steve and Harold to work out.

Trudeau: Gerald. Not Harold.

Trump: Yeah, whatever. Say, did you see the caboose on whatserface from Fox News? I’d like to grab…

Trudeau [Interrupting]: …actually, sir, perhaps we could discuss your decision to make Sarah Palin ambassador to Canada…

Trump [Howling with laughter]: Isn’t that a hoot? Jesus, she’s dumb as a post, that broad! She’s gonna drain your swamp! She’s gonna drive you crazy! [Trump abruptly stops and grows red in the face.] But she’s not as crazy as those ridiculous pro-terrorist judges who attacked my Muslim Ban…I mean, my executive order on terrorism! Did you see that, Jerry? Huge! 

Trudeau [Looking even more uncomfortable, if that is in fact possible, at this point]: Justin. Yes, Mr. President, but we don’t think it’s appropriate to comment on the internal matters of our allies.

Trump [Exasperated]: Why not? I comment on other countries’ internal stuff all the time! [Eyes Trudeau suspiciously.] So what did you think of my Muslim Ban, I mean, anti-terrorism executive order, Julian? It was the best executive order ever, right? Way better than Obama’s, right? Way.

Trudeau [Slowly, carefully]: Mr. Trump, in Canada, we welcome good people of all faiths and races and backgrounds. We believe that makes us a better nation, sir. [Long pause.] Barring people from Canada because they are Muslims would be unconstitutional and wrong.

Trump [Scowling, looking at Steve Bannon]: Hear that, Steve? The Snow Mexicans want to let in ISIS! [Regards Trudeau.] We might need to put up a wall along the Canada border, there, Johnny. 

Trudeau: It’s Justin. And that would be regrettable, sir, and would hurt both our countries. Every day, we do $2.4 billion in trade – in 2015, nearly $700 billion. Canada is the top customer for most of your states. We are allies and friends and we think it would hurt all of us to put up any kind of a wall.

Trump [Squinting, clearly unhappy]: Ever stay in one of my hotels in Canada, Julius?

Trudeau [Bewildered, befuddled, increasingly exasperated]: No, Mr. Trump, I can’t say I have.

Trump [Jabbing the air with a stubby little finger]: Well, you should! And you should buy some of Ivanka’s stuff at Nordstrom. [Pause.] Okay, not Nordstrom. Sears. [Pause again.] Okay, not there either. But buy her stuff! Stay at my hotel!

Trudeau: The Canadian taxpayer kindly provides my family with a wonderful home, sir. And I have a room at the Canadian Embassy while I am here in Washington. But thank you just the same.

Trump [Dismissive]: So the Brits cancelled my state visit over there. Would’ve been huge. Huge. When is Canada inviting me to speak to your House of Representatives, up there?

Trudeau [Long, long pause. Trudeau and Butts start eyeing the exits]: Mr. President, with the greatest of respect, Canadians were quite fond of your predecessor, and before there is a visit, we think they need more time to get to know you…

Trump [Unimpressed]: How long?

Trudeau [Looking like he’d rather be somewhere else, balancing babies or boxing or taking a selfie with someone, anyone. His shoulders drop. He gives up.] Sir, you should not come to Canada. We think it is a bad idea. We think all 35 million Canadians will come out to protest. Even the babies. In winter.

Trump [Unfazed]: Thirty-five million? That’s how many we had at my inauguration, didn’t we, Steve?

Bannon: Yes, sir! Absolutely, sir. [Bannon examines his limited edition Ku Klux Klan watch.] Sir, it’s bedtime. Shall I ask Kellyanne to tuck you in again, sir?

Trump [Looking bored, yawning, then rising unsteadily to his feet.]: Yeah, okay. Melania hasn’t been around for weeks, anyway. [Looks at Trudeau, who now has his head in his hands.] Steve will show you fellas out. Sure you don’t want to check out some of Putin’s strippers?

Trudeau: We. Are. Sure.

Trump [Walking towards the door.] Well, you should be nice to him, Justy. He’s already checked out your emails, and he likes that Shark Tank guy. The leech girl, too. Says he plans to help ’em win in your next election. 

Trudeau: Good night, Mr. President.

Trump: Good night, Justy.

[Curtain.]

What a classic. 

Read this:

The statistics show that from 2003 to 2015 — a period that saw six different premiers — Alberta sheriffs recorded a total of 55 security incidents involving the premier.

Nineteen of those came in the last half of 2015, which happened to be Premier Rachel Notley’s first months in office. At least three of those incidents required police intervention.

Then in 2016, protection services changed its process of reviewing and monitoring security threats, in part to include more surveillance of social media. That year, there were 412 reported incidents involving Notley, 26 of which were forwarded to police as they were deemed to have approached a criminal threshold.

In the women-hating Trump era, these types of incidents are almost certainly going to get more numerous and more serious, everywhere.  It’s important, therefore, that the Crown and police agencies aggressively investigate and prosecute each and every one of these threats.

Protection is one principle of sentencing that is important here.  But so, too, are deterrence and denunciation.  Canadian society needs to collectively and clearly express its revulsion with these pathetic little men.

And, once we successfully prosecute them, lock them up.

Read this:

U.S. border guards would get new powers to question, search and even detain Canadian citizens on Canadian soil under a bill proposed by the Liberal government.

Legal experts say Bill C-23, introduced by Public Safety Minister Ralph Goodale, and likely to pass in the current sitting of Parliament, could also erode the standing of Canadian permanent residents by threatening their automatic right to enter Canada…

Michael Greene, an immigration lawyer in Calgary, says C-23 takes away an important right found in the existing law.

“A Canadian going to the U.S. through a pre-clearance area [on Canadian soil] can say: ‘I don’t like the way [an interview is] going and I’ve chosen not to visit your country.’ And they can just turn around and walk out.

“Under the new proposed bill, they wouldn’t be able to walk out. They can be held and forced to answer questions,” said Greene, who is national chair of the Canadian Bar Association’s citizenship and immigration section.

Under the existing law, a strip search can only be conducted by a Canadian officer, though a U.S. officer can be present. Greene points out C-23 says if a Canadian officer is unavailable or unwilling, the U.S. officer can conduct the search.

“So you could have a circumstance where the Canadian officer says, ‘No I don’t think a search is warranted here. I’m not willing to do it.’ But the U.S. officer just says, ‘Fine, we’re going to do it anyway.'”

I’m going to be on The Eric Drozd Show on @570News/@RogersTVWR this morning to talk about this, and voice my objections, as the CBA and others are doing.

You can oppose this Trumpian law, too, by emailing Ralph Goodale at ralph.goodale@parl.gc.ca or by calling his offices at 613-947-1153 or 306-585-2202.  His Twitter handle is @RalphGoodale.

Justin Trudeau, watch out! Only slightly more than two million more followers to go!

Small hands! Small hands! Aaaiiieeeee!