Vernon

Eric & Ernie (2011)

Actors: Victoria Wood (producer), Vic Reeves (actor), Victoria Wood (actress), Reece Shearsmith (actor), Victoria Wood (writer), Ilan Eshkeri (composer), Julian Wadham (actor), Ted Robbins (actor), Peter Gunn (actor), Joanna Eatwell (costume designer), Angela Curran (actress), Robert Willox (actor), Chris Thompson (producer), Bryan Dick (actor), Lee Oakes (actor),

Plot: In the run-up to World War Two, Ernie Wiseman, a precocious and confident child performer, is signed up by influential impresario Jack Hylton. In Morecambe, pushy stage mum Sadie Bartholomew drags her slightly reluctant son Eric, an eccentric dancer, from one audition to the next until he too becomes a client of Hylton. The boys do not get on at first but Sadie sees a way to exploit their cross-talk and they form a bantering double act as Morecambe and Wise. After war service they become successful on stage and on radio but their attempt to crack the new medium of television is a disaster because they have been forced to accept a script which will make their Northernness acceptable to Southern viewers. They split up. However Sadie knows the formula that once worked and pushes Eric, now married to dancer Joan, into contacting Ernie. They decide to reform, on their own terms, into the act that would become one of the most successful television pairings ever.

Genres: Drama, Drama,

Quotes:

Sadie Bartholomew: Do you know what's holding 'em back?::George Bartholomew: The War?

Eric Morecambe: Was it dark?::Ernie Wise: Was what dark?::Eric Morecambe: Hiding in Churchill's cigar box until the War was over.

[Arthur is being carried off stage]::Ernie Wise: Poor Arthur.::Eric Morecambe: He must've tripped over Des O'Connor.

Eric Morecambe: What do you think of it so far?::Audience Member: Rubbish!

[Eric's mother is pushing him into a career as a dancer, but his heart isn't in it. He has just won a children's talent competition doing an embarrassing song-and-dance routine]::George Bartholomew: [conspiratorially, to Eric] Never mind, son. Happen you'll lose next time.::Sadie Bartholomew: [grimly] I heard that!

[Eric has just learned that he has won the Jack Hylton audition and will be taking part in the "Youth Takes a Bow" stage show, touring the country alongside Ernie Wise]::Young Eric: Touring the country? When will I see my mates?::Sadie Bartholomew: You'll make new mates - Variety mates - mates with a bit of something about them.::Young Eric: I don't want Variety mates. I've got a gang here - *and* an air-gun!::Sadie Bartholomew: Eric, d'you want to be tied to a whistle all your life, like your dad?::Young Eric: Well...::Sadie Bartholomew: Eric, listen to me. You make people laugh, you're a lovely dancer, and you can hold a tune. But *more* than that, and I mean this as the mother who carried you and nursed you and raised you, you aren't any good at anything else.

[Eric and Ernie have just done their first television show and it has received very poor newspaper reviews. Even Eric's mother thinks it was a disaster]::Sadie Bartholomew: [shouting] I can't show me face outside the house! I think we're going to have to move! I told you time and time again to trust your own material! I drummed it into you! And what do you do the moment me back's turned? You forget *everything*!::[Eric walks off and finds his dad sitting alone]::Eric Morecambe: Can I borrow your bike?::George Bartholomew: Where are you planning on going?::Eric Morecambe: Anywhere that they don't have televisions.::George Bartholomew: You could try Barrow-on-Furness. You'll soon be back - people'll forget.::Eric Morecambe: They won't forget this.::[Eric shows George a newspaper cutting of a TV critic's article]::Eric Morecambe: Here, read that.::George Bartholomew: "Definition of a TV - the box they buried Morecambe and Wise in last night". You know what I think. There's nothing harder to find than yesterday's paper.

[Eric and his mother discuss the disastrous TV series]::Sadie Bartholomew: How long are you going to keep this up - this sulking malarkey. You used to sulk when I made you wear that schoolboy outfit - right up till when it got you a big laugh.::Eric Morecambe: Television isn't about dressing up as a schoolboy and singing, you know.::Sadie Bartholomew: Well it certainly isn't about being funny. Not if what I saw you two do is anything to go by.::Eric Morecambe: [sarcastically] Don't go easy on me just because we're related, will you.::Sadie Bartholomew: I don't know how to soft-pedal - it's not in me nature.::Eric Morecambe: You don't have to tell me that.::Sadie Bartholomew: I'm hard on you because you and Ernie are better than that. When I saw you on that television show, doing that *tripe*... Biggest break? Your chance? You forgot everything. You and Ernie *know* what's funny. You know what plays funny, you know what tells funny. You must have known deep-down that material was not funny.::Eric Morecambe: What d'you want me to say?::Sadie Bartholomew: You could start by telling me I'm right.::[Ernie is lost for words. He knows his mother is right but he can't admit it]::Eric Morecambe: I'm sorry if you feel we've let you down.::Sadie Bartholomew: I'll get over it. Will you?

[Sadie is searching frantically under the bed and emerges holding a suitcase full of papers]::George Bartholomew: What the bloody hell are you doing?::Sadie Bartholomew: Finding them new material. I'll get Eric to go round to Ernie's tomorrow. Bash their heads together.::George Bartholomew: No, Sadie!::Sadie Bartholomew: What do you mean, "no"? Push, push, push. That's what I do. It's what our Eric needs.::George Bartholomew: Well maybe it's time you stopped pushing.::Sadie Bartholomew: You saying I pushed him into it?::George Bartholomew: Nobody's saying that, Sadie. You were right to push him and I'm glad you did. But... what I saying is... *He's* got to do the pushing now. *He's* got to go down to Ernie. He's got to do it for himself. He's got to *want* to do it himself.::Sadie Bartholomew: Well, beggar me! You don't put your foot down for twenty-five years of married life, and when you finally do, you're wrong!

[following their notorious TV show, Morecambe and Wise are now being placed *lower* on theatre bills than they were beforehand]::Ernie Wise: [ironically] Fourth on the bill. That's the magic of television.

Worried About the Boy (2010)

Actors: Mark Gatiss (actor), Marc Warren (actor), Mathew Horne (actor), Francis Magee (actor), Annie Symons (costume designer), Nicola Shindler (producer), Paul J. Dove (actor), Julian Jarrold (actor), Julian Jarrold (director), Emma E. Hickox (editor), Richard Madden (actor), Derek Lawson (actor), Matthew Bird (producer), Douglas Booth (actor), Juliette Howell (producer),

Plot: In 1980 young George O'Dowd baffles his parents with his love of frocks and make-up and moves into a squat with kindred spirit Peter,who dresses as Marilyn Monroe and calls himself Marilyn. They make a splash at Steve Strange's trendy Blitz Club where George gets a job in the cloakroom but George is unlucky in his relationships with men until he meets wannabe musician Kirk. Through Kirk George meets the handsome drummer Jon Moss,on whom he develops a crush, but sacked by the Blitz and spurned by Kirk,George turns to Sex Pistols' manager Malcolm McLaren to further his music career. George's spell with McLaren's group Bow Wow Wow is short but fan Mikey North is impressed and asks George to sing in a group he is forming,where George again meets Jon. They will have an affair and the group will become the very successful Culture Club. Four years later, however, hounded by the tabloid press amid stories of his drug addiction, an unhappy George turns to Jon for advice on his future.

Keywords: 1980s, androgynous-male, drug-addiction, drug-use, flamboyance, make-up, new-wave, reference-to-david-bowie, singer
Genres: Biography, Drama,

Quotes:

Careers Advisor: What can you do better than others?::Boy George: Make up.

Boy George: I'm not a drug addict, I'm a drag addict.

Boy George: Do you want to help me? I need milk, tea, sugar, Weetabix... oh, and some coke. Get the fizzy brown variety.

Boy George: You're accusing me of sucking my own neck.

Marilyn: Gay men think you're too much!

Steve Strange: He's straight, very straight.::Boy George: You know what your problem is, Steve? You have no ambition.

Vernon: I'm not really gay...::Boy George: It's ok, I'm not really a nun!

Marilyn: What do you think of his penis extention?::Boy George: Lovely. I'm circumcised, too.

Boy George: You must be my night in-camouflage dharma.

Boy George: Am I dreaming?::Marilyn: Why don't you pinch yourself?::Boy George: Ouch.

The Distinct Smell of Red (2000)

Actors: Johnathan Gwyn (actor), Edi Patterson (actress), Alan Ray (actor), Guilford Adams (actor), Cyril Lavender (actor), Robin Christian-McNair (actress), Jason Kittelberger (editor), Laura Neuhaus (actress), Jason Kittelberger (director), Donna Strader (actress), Donna Strader (writer), Donna Strader (producer), Jason Kittelberger (writer), Jason Kittelberger (actor), Donna Strader (editor),

Plot: Katherine, a single, middle-aged woman, owns a small flower shop in the city. Vernon, a pathological liar, is her only employee. However, instead of working, Vernon spends his time following Katherine around the shop, far more interested in talking about Cliffs Notes than he is in doing anything useful. Somehow, Vernon can't seem get Katherine's attention, until his fictional 'Juliet' is replaced by a real female cab driver. Initially fascinated with the red streaks in her dark hair, Vernon uses 'Juliet' in an attempt to impress Katherine. Instead, Vernon's pursuit of 'Juliet' threatens Katherine, which only serves to drive Vernon closer to 'Juliet.'

Keywords: flower-shop, independent-film, liar, reference-to-romeo-and-juliet, romantic-obsession, romeo-and-juliet, taxi-driver
Genres: Drama,
Taglines: An unlikely drama about misguided intentions, lonely desperation, and a romantic fantasy that just might come true.

Quotes:

Vernon: Normally I don't go for women with red hair. They tend to have a peculiar smell, you know? It's hard to define, but in the back of your mind you know something's not right. I don't want to say it's a bad odor, just different.

Vernon: Redheads are okay, but sometimes a little variety is good for the soul, don't you think?

Katherine: You can be married for fifty years and still die alone, even with your husband standing right beside you. Anyway, being alone doesn't scare me anymore. The only time I really feel alone is when I'm around other people.

Vernon: You ever try going blond? I bet you'd make a pretty good blond, you know. You might not look as innocent as Alice, but then again, you're not seven, either.

Vernon: Love is easy, but that doesn't mean it comes around all the time.

Katherine: So you're telling me, one day, the girl of your dreams is going to come walking by, see you through that window, and come waltzing in here?

Vernon: It's no big deal. I do it all the time. I like giving away flowers, you know? Besides, you happen to be the prettiest girl I've seen today.

Vernon: You should see her. She's beautiful. Even better than a supermodel.

Vernon: Did I tell you about her lips? Suffice it to say, she had a great pair of lips.

Vernon: You know, they have about sixty-three kinds of coffee here. With about forty-two different things to put in it. And you just get a regular coffee.

The Next Best Thing (2000)

Actors: John Schlesinger (director), Ruth Myers (costume designer), Illeana Douglas (actress), Tom Rosenberg (producer), Gary Lucchesi (producer), Lynn Redgrave (actress), Josef Sommer (actor), Neil Patrick Harris (actor), Jack Betts (actor), Rupert Everett (actor), Madonna (actress), John Carroll Lynch (actor), Benjamin Bratt (actor), Michael J. Harker (miscellaneous crew), Pamella D'Pella (miscellaneous crew),

Plot: A comedy-drama about best friends - one a straight woman, Abbie, the other a gay man, Robert - who decide to have a child together. Five years later, Abbie falls in love with a straight man and wants to move away with her and Robert's little boy Sam, and a nasty custody battle ensues.

Keywords: aids, airport, amusement-park, applying-deodorant, asking-for-a-date, asking-someone-out-on-a-date, bare-chested-male, beach, beauty-pageant, best-friend
Genres: Comedy, Drama, Romance,
Taglines: He was smart, handsome and single. When her biological clock was running out, he was... the next best thing. Best friends make the best mistakes.

Quotes:

[Talking about Abbie and Robert's baby]::Annabelle: Of course he'll be gorgeous.::Kelly: Will he be gay?::Abbie: My God, will your kids be stupid?

Ben: Are you gay, or are you just acting gay?::Robert: Well, that depends, are you interested are are you just acting interested?

Abbie: I have something to tell you.::Robert: Is it bigger than a breadbox?::Abbie: Heh, not yet.

Robert: What? Eight martinis and you're stuffed?::Abbie: Yep.::Robert: Well, it doesn't take much to crack your egg, does it?

Sam: Daddy, are you a 'faggot'?::Robert: Where did you hear that word?::Sam: Kyle told it to me::Robert: And did Kyle tell you what it means?::Sam: Yes.::Robert: Well, what does it mean?::Sam: It's when two boys kiss and they go to the opera.

Robert's Mother: Do you remember that gloomy old grandpa that I told you about. The one who only comes out at night? [Sam shakes his head yes] Well, he's here.::Sam: Smelling salts. Smelling salts. [Pretends to faint] Grandma, why aren't you fainting with me?

Young Girl: I know what a faggot is. That it what my dad calls someone who cuts him off in traffic.

Light It Up (1999)

Actors: Clifton Collins Jr. (actor), Vanessa Williams (actress), Rosario Dawson (actress), P.J. Haines (miscellaneous crew), Usher Raymond (actor), Harry Gregson-Williams (composer), Bob Minor (actor), Glynn Turman (actor), Forest Whitaker (actor), Kenneth 'Babyface' Edmonds (producer), Judd Nelson (actor), Trae Ireland (actor), Fredro Starr (actor), Vic Polizos (actor), Sara Gilbert (actress),

Plot: On a winter day in a southside Queens high school, events collide and six students are suddenly in an armed standoff with the NYPD. At the school, classrooms freeze, teachers come and go, resources are scant. When a popular teacher is suspended, a few students protest. Jackson, a new security guard, gets tough. In a scuffle, Jackson's wounded with his own gun and a student takes him hostage. A few kids join in, for various reasons. An ineffective policewoman tries to mediate as the police plan an assault, the kids demand improvements to the school, the media pick up the story, and Jackson turns sympathetic. But are too many forces in motion for the students to stay in control?

Keywords: black-cop, helicopter, hostage-negotiator, lasersight, molotov-cocktail, police, police-brutality
Genres: Drama,
Taglines: they don't want to be heroes they just want to be heard.

Quotes:

Officer Dante Jackson: Come here, son.::Lester Dewitt: Don't call me son. I'm not your son.

Lester Dewitt: Assume the position!

Winner Takes All (1998)

Actors: Daniel Zirilli (director), Allysin Embers (actress), Joe Estevez (actor), Daniel Zirilli (editor), Daniel Zirilli (producer), Daniel Zirilli (actor), Daniel Zirilli (writer), B-Real (actor), Vin Morreale Jr. (actor), Jeremy Swift (actor), Jeremy Swift (actor), Marlon Parry (writer), Marlon Parry (producer), Reegus Flenory (actor), Marlon Parry (actor),

Plot: In 1978, two rapper childhood friend turn to the quick and easy life of crime to support their needy parents. But after a foiled robbery, one of them is jailed while the other flees, changes his name, joins the military, and grows up to become a narcotics agent. 10 years later, the agent becomes embroiled in an assassination plot for a powerful Mafia boss headed by a corrupt drug agent. The two friends must find a way to come together to stop it.

Keywords: assassination, betrayal, black-cast, chinese, drugs, florida, gun-action, independent-film, interracial-sex, italian
Genres: Action, Crime, Drama,
Taglines: Urban-Action

Getting Even (1986)

Actors: Christopher Young (composer), Joe Don Baker (actor), Charles Bornstein (editor), Kevin LaRosa (miscellaneous crew), Charles A. Tamburro (miscellaneous crew), Charles A. Tamburro (actor), Haley McLane (actress), Edward Albert (actor), Blue Deckert (actor), Audrey Landers (actress), Michael Tamburro (miscellaneous crew), Caroline Williams (actress), Woody Watson (actor), Paul Napier (actor), Malcolm Abbey (miscellaneous crew),

Genres: Action, Adventure, Romance, Thriller,

Greaser's Palace (1972)

Actors: Bud S. Smith (editor), Luana Anders (actress), Pablo Ferro (actor), Robert Downey Sr. (director), Robert Downey Jr. (actor), Robert Downey Sr. (writer), Don Calfa (actor), Toni Basil (actress), Jim Antonio (actor), Jack Nitzsche (composer), Allan Arbus (actor), Hervé Villechaize (actor), Woody Chambliss (actor), Albert Henderson (actor), Michael Sullivan (actor),

Plot: A parable based on the life of Christ. This ain't your father's Bible story, full of references about the destruction of the world through massive constipation and a New Mexican setting.

Keywords: absurdism, anachronism, bare-breasts, christ-allegory, christ-figure, conestoga-wagon, constipation, crucifixion, death-of-son, donkey
Genres: Comedy, Drama, Western,
Taglines: He's got the boogie on his fingers & the hubba-hubba in his soul!

Quotes:

Jessy: If you feel, you heal.

Lamy Homo Greaser: Dad, I was swimming in a rainbow with millions of babies... and they was naked... and then all of the sudden I turned into a perfect smile!::Old guy: Put a rope around the son of a bitch!

Jessy: I'm on my way to Jerusalem to be an actor/singer. It is written that the Agent Morris awaits me.

[Jessy has "cured" a man in crutches]::Inflicted Man: I can crawl again!

Cholero Greaser: A man with holes in his hands gets a bigger applause than me and you talk of greatness?

Seaweedhead Greaser: [to Lamy] You're not a homo, you're a Greaser!

Jessy: I bring you a message. Exactly six miles north of Skagg Mountain in the Valley of Pain, there lives an evil devil-monster. His name is Bingo Gas Station Motel Cheeseburger With A Side Of Aircraft Noise And You'll Be Gary Indiana. And he *loves* to hurt people. The last time I saw Bingo Gas Station Motel Cheeseburger With A Side Of Aircraft Noise And You'll Be Gary Indiana, he told me what he wants to do. He wants to come down here and kill each and every one of you! But I said to him: "Bingo, wait a minute." And the reason I said that is because I believe in you people. I believe you can do the job. I believe you can help each other. I believe you can make this world a better place to live in. That's it.

The Magnificent Seven Deadly Sins (1971)

Actors: David Lodge (actor), Spike Milligan (actor), Harry H. Corbett (actor), Arthur Howard (actor), Peter Butterworth (actor), Roy Hudd (actor), Ronnie Barker (actor), Bernard Bresslaw (actor), Alfie Bass (actor), Marty Feldman (actor), Bruce Forsyth (actor), Ronald Fraser (actor), Geoffrey Bayldon (actor), Melvyn Hayes (actor), Leslie Phillips (actor),

Plot: This early Seventies British comedy takes us through seven short stories based on the Seven Deadly Sins. This film is a montage of different styles, from Spike Milligan's mainly silent "Sloth", to the leering Harry H Corbett in "Lust".

Keywords: avarice, camera-focus-on-female-butt, chauffeur, envy, explosion, female-rear-nudity, gluttony, greed, independent-film, lust
Genres: Comedy,

Quotes:

Doctor: I take it he didn't get to the pudding?::Ingrid: No, he didn't get that far.::Doctor: Pitty. I like something that's rather sweet.::Ingrid: I'm sure you do.::Doctor: Perhaps I'd better take a look at it?

Der Ermordete greift ein (1961)

Actors: Sabine Thalbach (actress), Rudolf Ulrich (actor), Annekathrin Bürger (actress), Barbara Dittus (actress), Marga Legal (actress), Kurt Jung-Alsen (writer), Kurt Jung-Alsen (director), Norbert Christian (actor), Jürgen Frohriep (actor), Hans Hardt-Hardtloff (actor), Alfred Müller (actor), Arthur Jopp (actor), Hans Fiebrandt (actor), Christel Bodenstein (actress), Karl Georg Külb (writer),

Genres: Crime,