Monty Python

6:52

Chemist Sketch - Monty Python's Flying Circus

Chemist Sketch - Monty Python's Flying Circus

Chemist Sketch - Monty Python's Flying Circus
Subscribe to the Official Monty Python Channel here - http://smarturl.it/SubscribeToPython Introduced by the “Gumbys”, the sketch begins with John Cleese as an indiscreet chemist, calling out the ailment of each embarrassed member of his waiting room for them to come up and collect their prescription. The scene is abruptly cut short by a BBC public apology (voiceover by Eric Idle) for the poor quality of writing in the sketch. Michael Palin then appears as “BBC Man” to set out the words which are “not to be used again on this programme”. “B*m, B*tty, P*x, Kn*ckers, Kn*ckers, W** W** and Semprini” are subsequently banned from the rest of the programme. Cleese attempts to restart the sketch but is marched off by Police Constable Pan-Am (Graham Chapman) for using the word “Semprini”. Terry Jones as a “less naughty chemist” begins the sketch but it is brought to an abrupt end when the the customer (Eric Idle) is marched off by Police Constable Pan-Am. Finally, Palin as “a not at all naughty chemist” takes up the sketch and in an attempt to find the customer some aftershave a bizarre series of scenes ensue. The sketch features a number of Python characters, including the “Gumbys” and Cardinal Ximenez from “The Spanish Inquisition” sketch. The “Chemist Sketch” featuring John Cleese, Michael Palin, Terry Jones, Graham Chapman, Eric Idle with animation by Terry Gilliam premiered on 20 October 1970 in Series 2, Episode 4 of “Monty Python’s Flying Circus”. Visit the official Monty Python store - http://smarturl.it/MontyPythonStores Visit the NEW Monty Python iTunes store - http://smarturl.it/MontyPython1D5TGitun Welcome to the official Monty Python YouTube channel. This is the place to find top quality classic Python videos, as well as some special stuff that you'll only find here such as interviews and behind-the-scenes footage from our live shows. All the Pythons including John Cleese, Michael Palin, Eric Idle, Terry Gilliam, Terry Jones & Graham Chapman can be found here being incredibly silly. New videos will be uploaded every Monday! http://www.montypython.com/ https://www.facebook.com/MontyPython https://twitter.com/montypython
6:07

Argument Clinic - Monty Python's The Flying Circus

Argument Clinic - Monty Python's The Flying Circus

Argument Clinic - Monty Python's The Flying Circus
Subscribe to the Official Monty Python Channel here - http://smarturl.it/SubscribeToPython Argument Clinic, taken from The Flying Circus. Visit the official Monty Python store - http://smarturl.it/MontyPythonStores Visit the NEW Monty Python iTunes store - http://smarturl.it/MontyPython1D5TGitun Welcome to the official Monty Python YouTube channel. This is the place to find top quality classic Python videos, as well as some special stuff that you'll only find here such as interviews and behind-the-scenes footage from our live shows. All the Pythons including John Cleese, Michael Palin, Eric Idle, Terry Gilliam, Terry Jones & Graham Chapman can be found here being incredibly silly. New videos will be uploaded every Monday! http://www.montypython.com/ https://www.facebook.com/MontyPython https://twitter.com/montypython
23:15

A Selection Of Scenes From Monty Python's Life Of Brian

A Selection Of Scenes From Monty Python's Life Of Brian

A Selection Of Scenes From Monty Python's Life Of Brian
Subscribe to the Official Monty Python Channel here - http://smarturl.it/SubscribeToPython We've pulled together a selection of scenes from 'Monty Python's Life of Brain' to create this longform video. Enjoy 'Stoning', 'Romans Go Home', 'What Have the Romans Ever Done for Us?', 'Hermit', 'Biggus Dickus', 'He's Not The Messiah' and, the grand finale, 'Always Look on the Bright Side of LIfe', in all their glory! Welcome to the official Monty Python YouTube channel. This is the place to find top quality classic Python videos, as well as some special stuff that you'll only find here such as interviews and behind-the-scenes footage from our live shows. All the Pythons including John Cleese, Michael Palin, Eric Idle, Terry Gilliam, Terry Jones & Graham Chapman can be found here being incredibly silly. New videos will be uploaded every Monday! http://www.montypython.com/ https://www.facebook.com/MontyPython https://twitter.com/montypython
21:22

John Cleese's Monty Python Picks (2015) Compilation

John Cleese's Monty Python Picks (2015) Compilation

John Cleese's Monty Python Picks (2015) Compilation
Subscribe to the Official Monty Python Channel here - http://smarturl.it/SubscribeToPython "We've put together a compilation video of John Cleese's "10 All-Time Favourite" Python sketches and scenes, as told to Jeff Slate for Esquire in December 2015. John's picks include classic "Flying Circus" sketches - "Scott of the Sahara", "Sir Raymond Luxury Yacht" and "Upper Class Twit of the Year"; two scenes from "Monty Python's Life of Brian" - the two gaolers, and Brian telling his followers he is not the Messiah; "Mr Creosote" & "The Galaxy Song" scenes from ""Monty Python's The Meaning of Life""; and the two guards being given their orders scene from "Monty Python & the Holy Grail". Visit the official Monty Python store - http://smarturl.it/MontyPythonStores Visit the NEW Monty Python iTunes store - http://smarturl.it/MontyPython1D5TGitun Welcome to the official Monty Python YouTube channel. This is the place to find top quality classic Python videos, as well as some special stuff that you'll only find here such as interviews and behind-the-scenes footage from our live shows. All the Pythons including John Cleese, Michael Palin, Eric Idle, Terry Gilliam, Terry Jones & Graham Chapman can be found here being incredibly silly. New videos will be uploaded every Monday! http://www.montypython.com/ https://www.facebook.com/MontyPython https://twitter.com/montypython
11:39

Top 10 Monty Python Movie Moments

Top 10 Monty Python Movie Moments

Top 10 Monty Python Movie Moments
It's classy and crude, clever and confusing. Join http://www.WatchMojo.com as we count down our picks for the top 10 Monty Python movie moments. Special thanks to our users "Thomas Gorsuch", "WolfC7", "TheDude" and "Shawn Frary" for submitting the idea for this video on our WatchMojo.com/suggest page! To check out the voting pages for this list, head to: http://watchmojo.com/suggest/Top%2010%20Monty%20Python%20Moments If you want to suggest an idea for a WatchMojo video, check out our new interactive Suggestion Tool at http://www.WatchMojo.com/suggest :) Check us out at Twitter.com/WatchMojo and Facebook.com/WatchMojo We have T-Shirts! Be sure to check out http://www.WatchMojo.com/store for more info. Help us caption & translate this video! http://amara.org/v/E7eY/
6:55

Olympic Hide and Seek Final - Monty Python's Flying Circus

Olympic Hide and Seek Final - Monty Python's Flying Circus

Olympic Hide and Seek Final - Monty Python's Flying Circus
Subscribe to the Official Monty Python Channel here - http://smarturl.it/SubscribeToPython Eric Idle reports from London on the “Second Leg of the Olympic Final of the Men’s’ Hide and Seek,” as Francisco Huron of Paraguay (Terry Jones) and Don Roberts from Hinckley in Leicestershire (Graham Chapman) compete in this “extreme Olympic sport .” In the first leg, Don Roberts succeeded in finding Francisco Huron in the world record-breaking time of 11 years, 2 months, 26 days, 9 hours, 3 minutes, 27.4 seconds. Now in this second leg, it’s Francisco Huron’s turn as the seeker. The final takes the competitors across the world, and lasts over 11 years. “The Olympic Hide-and-seek Final” premiered on 14 December 1972 in Series 3, Episode 9 of “Monty Python’s Flying Circus”. Welcome to the official Monty Python YouTube channel. This is the place to find top quality classic Python videos, as well as some special stuff that you'll only find here such as interviews and behind-the-scenes footage from our live shows. All the Pythons including John Cleese, Michael Palin, Eric Idle, Terry Gilliam, Terry Jones & Graham Chapman can be found here being incredibly silly. New videos will be uploaded every Monday! http://www.montypython.com/ https://www.facebook.com/MontyPython https://twitter.com/montypython
9:00

'Spanish Inquisition' Compilation - Monty Python's Flying Circus

'Spanish Inquisition' Compilation - Monty Python's Flying Circus

'Spanish Inquisition' Compilation - Monty Python's Flying Circus
Subscribe to the Official Monty Python Channel here - http://smarturl.it/SubscribeToPython 'The Spanish Inquisition Compilation" is a series of sketches from “Monty Python's Flying Circus” Series 2, Episode 2, first broadcast on 22 September 1970. The sketches parody the Tribunal of the Holy Office of the Inquisition, commonly known as the Spanish Inquisition, and are notable for their principal catchphrase, "Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!" These recurring sketches are always predicated on an unrelated sketch in which one character mentions that they "didn't expect a Spanish Inquisition", often in irritation at being questioned by another, at which point the Inquisition - Cardinal Ximénez (Michael Palin) and his assistants Cardinal Biggles (Terry Jones) and Cardinal Fang (Terry Gilliam) burst into the room to the sound of a jarring musical sting and Ximénez shouts: "Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!". Michael Palin, Terry Jones and Terry Gilliam reprised their roles as the Spanish Inquisition for the the 2014 reunion shows at The O2, London. Welcome to the official Monty Python YouTube channel. This is the place to find top quality classic Python videos, as well as some special stuff that you'll only find here such as interviews and behind-the-scenes footage from our live shows. All the Pythons including John Cleese, Michael Palin, Eric Idle, Terry Gilliam, Terry Jones & Graham Chapman can be found here being incredibly silly. New videos will be uploaded every Monday! http://www.montypython.com/ https://www.facebook.com/MontyPython https://twitter.com/montypython
5:34

Monty Python - Dead Parrot

Monty Python - Dead Parrot

Monty Python - Dead Parrot
from Monty Python's Flying Circus Season 1 - Episode 08 Full Frontal Nudity Recorded 25-11-69, Aired 07-12-69 The world famous Dead Parrot sketch, here, in it's entirety! I'm slowly uploading the entire Flying Circus series... Got any requests?
6:47

Self Defence Against Fresh Fruit - Monty Python's Flying Circus

Self Defence Against Fresh Fruit - Monty Python's Flying Circus

Self Defence Against Fresh Fruit - Monty Python's Flying Circus
Subscribe to the Official Monty Python Channel here - http://smarturl.it/SubscribeToPython "Self Defence Against Fresh Fruit" is about an RSM-type instructor (John Cleese) who is teaching a class about self-defence, but all he teaches is how to defend oneself against an assailant "armed" with a piece of fresh fruit. The sketch first appeared in "Monty Python's Flying Circus" Series 1, Episode 4 - "Owl Stretching Time" - which premiered on 26 October 1969. The first part of the sketch was also remade for the Pythons' first feature film "And Now For Something Completely Different", released in 1971. Welcome to the official Monty Python YouTube channel. This is the place to find top quality classic Python videos, as well as some special stuff that you'll only find here such as interviews and behind-the-scenes footage from our live shows. All the Pythons including John Cleese, Michael Palin, Eric Idle, Terry Gilliam, Terry Jones & Graham Chapman can be found here being incredibly silly. New videos will be uploaded every Monday! http://www.montypython.com/ https://www.facebook.com/MontyPython https://twitter.com/montypython
7:18

Confuse-a-Cat - Monty Python's Flying Circus

Confuse-a-Cat - Monty Python's Flying Circus

Confuse-a-Cat - Monty Python's Flying Circus
Subscribe to the Official Monty Python Channel here - http://smarturl.it/SubscribeToPython “Confuse-a-Cat” features Michael Palin and Terry Jones as an anxious couple concerned for their cat’s well-being. Troubled that their cat just “sits out all day on the lawn,” they call the vet (Graham Chapman) for an urgent house visit. The vet, praises the couple for calling him just in the “nick of time” as their cat’s “physical inertia” and “absence of interest in its ambience,” shows it is clearly “in a rut” and explains that the only cure is to confuse it. Not being qualified to confuse cats himself the vet recommends calling “Confuse-a-Cat Limited” an organization run with military precision by the General (John Cleese) who, with his crack team of “Confusers,” attempts to shake the desperate couples’ cat out of it’s complacency with a show like no other. “Confuse- a-Cat” premiered on 16 November 1969 in Series 1, Episode 5 of “Monty Python’s Flying Circus”. Welcome to the official Monty Python YouTube channel. This is the place to find top quality classic Python videos, as well as some special stuff that you'll only find here such as interviews and behind-the-scenes footage from our live shows. All the Pythons including John Cleese, Michael Palin, Eric Idle, Terry Gilliam, Terry Jones & Graham Chapman can be found here being incredibly silly. New videos will be uploaded every Monday! http://www.montypython.com/ https://www.facebook.com/MontyPython https://twitter.com/montypython
6:40

The First Man To Jump The Channel - Monty Python's Flying Circus

The First Man To Jump The Channel - Monty Python's Flying Circus

The First Man To Jump The Channel - Monty Python's Flying Circus
Subscribe to the Official Monty Python Channel here - http://smarturl.it/SubscribeToPython “The First Man to Jump the Channel” premiered on the 21 December 1969. From Series 1, Episode 10 of "Monty Pythons Flying Circus", Terry Jones plays the over ambitious Ron Obvious, who undertakes several impossible tasks for charity under the guidance of his unscrupulous manager Luigi Vercotti (Michael Palin). Jumping the English Channel, eating Chichester Cathedral and splitting a railway carriage with his nose are just a few of the impossible tasks Ron Obvious naively tries to complete in to get some publicity. Visit the official Monty Python store - http://smarturl.it/MontyPythonStores Visit the NEW Monty Python iTunes store - http://smarturl.it/MontyPython1D5TGitun Welcome to the official Monty Python YouTube channel. This is the place to find top quality classic Python videos, as well as some special stuff that you'll only find here such as interviews and behind-the-scenes footage from our live shows. All the Pythons including John Cleese, Michael Palin, Eric Idle, Terry Gilliam, Terry Jones & Graham Chapman can be found here being incredibly silly. New videos will be uploaded every Monday! http://www.montypython.com/ https://www.facebook.com/MontyPython https://twitter.com/montypython
12:46

Dennis Moore - Monty Python's Flying Circus

Dennis Moore - Monty Python's Flying Circus

Dennis Moore - Monty Python's Flying Circus
Subscribe to the Official Monty Python Channel here - http://smarturl.it/Subscribe2Python There are four “Dennis Moore” sketches which appear at intervals throughout the “Monty Python’s Flying Circus” episode of the same name. Dennis Moore (John Cleese) is a masked highwayman, who starts out stealing lupins from the rich to give to the poor (as the sketch’s accompanying theme song explains), parodying the story of Robin Hood . In the first of four sketches, “Dennis Moore,” Moore holds up a stagecoach, The Lupin Express. After a lengthy monologue detailing his pistol skills and a debate with the coach’s passengers (Terry Jones, Eric Idle & Carol Cleveland) about species of tree, he gallops away on his horse Concorde, to the Dennis Moore theme tune, gripping a large bunch of lupins he’s successfully robbed from them, which he delivers to a peasant couple (Michael Palin & Terry Jones). In the next Dennis Moore sketch, “Lupins,” Moore holds up the guests of a high-society ball and robs them of their lupins. On delivering these lupins to the peasant couple, the man peasant (Michael Palin) complains that they are “sick to bloody death of them” and tells Moore to “go out and steal something useful!” The third Dennis Moore sketch, “Dennis Moore Rides Again,” sees Moore returning to the high-society ball and taking all they have left, their silver spoons. On delivering these to the peasant couple they complain that they’re not good enough as they’re only silver, and tell Moore to “go out and steal something nice...”. In the final Dennis Moore sketch, “Redistribution of Wealth,” Moore holds up another stagecoach, demands everyone gets out their valuables and proceeds to divide them between them so they each have an equal share. The sketches appear in Series 3, Episode 11 of “Monty Python’s Flying Circus,” which premiered on 4 January 1973. Welcome to the official Monty Python YouTube channel. This is the place to find top quality classic Python videos, as well as some special stuff that you'll only find here such as interviews and behind-the-scenes footage from our live shows. All the Pythons including John Cleese, Michael Palin, Eric Idle, Terry Gilliam, Terry Jones & Graham Chapman can be found here being incredibly silly. New videos will be uploaded every Monday! http://www.montypython.com/ https://www.facebook.com/MontyPython https://twitter.com/montypython
5:14

The New Cooker Sketch - Monty Python's Flying Circus

The New Cooker Sketch - Monty Python's Flying Circus

The New Cooker Sketch - Monty Python's Flying Circus
Subscribe to the Official Monty Python Channel here - http://smarturl.it/SubscribeToPython ‘New Cooker Sketch’ features Terry Jones as Mrs. Pinnet, a housewife, who at the start of the sketch realizes she is in the wrong house when a clown rings at the door asking for a “Mrs. Rogers”. Immediately shutting the door in his face, Mrs. Pinnet makes a quick exit through Mrs. Rogers’ window into the backyard, over the dividing wall into next door’s backyard, through next door’s window and finally sits down in a cluttered, working-class sitting room to continue watching “Sir Vincent”, when the doorbell rings. A delighted Mrs. Pinnet exclaims to the camera, “That must be the new gas cooker!” and jumps up to opens the door to two gasmen (Michael Palin and Graham Chapman) who are delivering a new gas cooker to Mrs. G. Crump. Mrs. Pinnet insists the gas cooker must be for her and following a back-and-forth about how to resolve the mix-up, with the gasmen insisting they stick to protocol, they finally agree to leave the cooker with her. When she asks if they’ll install it, another discussion about the necessary paperwork ensues, with Palin insisting they can’t install it “unless it’s an emergency,” which, he says, this is not. Palin suggests that if there was a “murder” due to a gas leak from the cooker someone could be round by 2pm that day to connect it up. Enthusiastically, Mrs. Pinnet agrees and lies down for Palin to gas her through the cooker’s pipe, while the various gasmen, who’ve now turned up and are queuing down the street, discuss how to contact head office. The sketch satirizes the bureaucratic mess caused by the Gas Act of 1948, which nationalized the more than 1,000 national gas concerns into twelve regional gas boards. ‘New Cooker Sketch’ premiered on 15 September 1970 in Series 2, Episode 1 of ‘Monty Pythons Flying Circus’. Welcome to the official Monty Python YouTube channel. This is the place to find top quality classic Python videos, as well as some special stuff that you'll only find here such as interviews and behind-the-scenes footage from our live shows. All the Pythons including John Cleese, Michael Palin, Eric Idle, Terry Gilliam, Terry Jones & Graham Chapman can be found here being incredibly silly. New videos will be uploaded every Monday! http://www.montypython.com/ https://www.facebook.com/MontyPython https://twitter.com/montypython
5:07

Kilimanjaro Expedition - Monty Python's Flying Circus

Kilimanjaro Expedition - Monty Python's Flying Circus

Kilimanjaro Expedition - Monty Python's Flying Circus
The "Kilimanjaro Expedition" sketch premiered on 14 December 1969 as part of Series 1, Episode 9 of "Monty Python's Flying Circus" - "The Ant, an introduction". It features Eric Idle, as Arthur Wilson a young mountaineer, John Cleese as Sir George Head who is leading an expedition to Mount Kilimanjaro and Graham Chapman as their guide, who physically acts out the route for the expedition in Head's office. Subscribe to the Official Monty Python Channel here - http://smarturl.it/SubscribeToPython Visit the official Monty Python store - http://smarturl.it/MontyPythonStores Visit the NEW Monty Python iTunes store - http://smarturl.it/MontyPython1D5TGitun Welcome to the official Monty Python YouTube channel. This is the place to find top quality classic Python videos, as well as some special stuff that you'll only find here such as interviews and behind-the-scenes footage from our live shows. All the Pythons including John Cleese, Michael Palin, Eric Idle, Terry Gilliam, Terry Jones & Graham Chapman can be found here being incredibly silly. New videos will be uploaded every Monday! http://www.montypython.com/ https://www.facebook.com/MontyPython https://twitter.com/montypython

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Famous quotes by Monty Python:

"Nudge, nudge, wink, wink. Know what I mean?"

"We are no longer the knights who say ni! We are now the knights who say ekki-ekki-ekki-pitang-zoom-boing!"

"It's funny, isn't it? How your best friend can just blow up like that?"

"-She turned me into a newt!"

"Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government!"

"My philosophy, like color television, is all there in black and white"

"I don't wanna talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! You mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!"

"Your highness, when I said that you are like a stream of bat's piss, I only mean that you shine out like a shaft of gold when all around it is dark"

"“It was a fantastic success. Over 60 000 times more powerful than Britain’s great pre-war joke, and one which Hitler just couldn’t match.”"

"Always look on the bright side of life."

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Lyrics list:

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Cannibalism

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Camelot

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Bruces

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Run Away

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Hand Grenade Of Antioch

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The Bridge Of Death (Remastered)

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Nudge Nudge

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Monty Python

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Blackmail

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Bishop On The Landing

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Anything Goes

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Bing Tiddle Tiddle Bong

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World Forum

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Sir Robin

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Rhubarb Tart

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Argument

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Argument Clinic

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Australian Table Wines

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Bells

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A Fairy Tale

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A Foul-tempered Rabbit

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Apologies

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Are You Embarrassed Easily

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Matching Tie & Handkerchief

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Nisus Wettus With The Gaolers

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You They Won't Play This Song On The Radio

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Money Song

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Medical Love Song

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Oliver Cromwell

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Never Be Rude To An Arab

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Penis Song (Not The Noel Coward Song)

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Penis Song

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Spam Song

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Sit On My Face

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Meaning Of Life

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Lumberjack Song

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Monty Python Live! At City Center

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The Final Rip Off

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Live at Drury Lane

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The Monty Python Instant Record Collection, Vol. 2

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Monty Python's Life of Brian

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Monty Python's Contractual Obligation Album

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Spamalot

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The Album of the Soundtrack of the Trailer of the Film of Monty Python and the Holy Grail

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Parrot (oh Not Again)

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Novel Writing

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Penguin On The Tv

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Parrot Sketch

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Pilate With The Crowd (welease Wodger)

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Pet Shop

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Sermon On The Mount (big Nose)

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That's Death

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The Brian Song

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The Idiot Song

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The Meaning Of Life Theme Song

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The Urban Spaceman

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When Does A Dream Begin?

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Yangtse Song

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Miss Anne Elk

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I Like Traffic Lights

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I'm So Worried

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Henry Kissinger

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I Like Chinese

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Knights Of The Round Table (Camelot Song)

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Lumberjack

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I've Got Two Legs

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Idiot Song

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Finland

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Galaxy Song

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Bring Out Your Dead

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Monty Python Sings

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Dead Parrot Sketch

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Constitutional Peasant

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Cocktail Bar

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Cheese Shop

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French Taunter

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How Do You Tell A Witch

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Fish Licence

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Four Yorkshiremen

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Im A Lumberjack

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Immanuel Kant

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I Bet You They Won't Play This Song On The Radio

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I've Got A Lovely Bunch Of Coconuts

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Death Of Mary Queen Of Scots

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Election Special

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Every Sperm Is Sacred

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Eric The Half A Bee

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Do What John?

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Dennis Moore

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Decomposing Composers

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Christmas In Heaven

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Camelot Song

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Bruces' Philosophy Song

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Bruces' Philosophers Song

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Brian Song

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Spam

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O Lord Please Don't Burn Us

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The Meaning of Life

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The Ferret Song

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The Philosophers Song

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The Penis Song

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Two Legs

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Isn't It Awfully Nice To Have A Penis

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Henry Kissenger

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We Love The Yangtse

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Undertaker

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Travel Agent

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Travel Agency

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The Wise Men At The Manger

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The Third World - Yorkshire (every Sperm Is Sacred)

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The Tale Of Sir Robin

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Accountancy Shanty

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Accoutancy Shanty

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All Things Dull And Ugly

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Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life

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Answering Machine Song

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Background To History

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Spanish Inquisition Part 1

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String

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Swamp Castle

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The Architect

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The Argument Clinic

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The Dead Parrot

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The Knights Who Say Ni!

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The Money Song

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The Piranha Brothers

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The Spam Song

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Brave Sir Robin

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Bright Side Of Life

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Holzfäller Song

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Here Comes Another One

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Knights of the Round Table

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Inspector Dim's Song

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Muddy Knees

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Military Fairy

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Protest Song

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Oh Lord Please Don't Burn Us

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Ferret Song

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Do Wot John

text lyrics

Cannibalism

Sailor #1: Still no sign of land. How long is it?
Sailor #2: That's a rather personal question, sir.
Sailor #1: (low voice)You stupid git. I meant how long
has it been in the lifeboat? You've destroyed the
atmosphere now.
Sailor #2: I'm sorry.
Sailor #1: Shut up. Start again.
Sailor #1: Still no sign of land. How long is it?
Sailor #2: 33 days, sir.
Sailor #1: Thirty-three days?
Sailor #2: We can't go on much longer. (low voices) I
didn't think I destroyed the atmosphere.
Sailor #1: Shut up.
Sailor #2: Well, I don't think I did.
Sailor #1: 'Course you did.
Sailor #2: (aside, to 3) Did you think I destroyed the
atmosphere?
Sailor #3: Yes I think you did.
Sailor #1: Shut up. Shut up!
Sailor #1: Still no sign of land. How long is it?
Sailor #2: 33 days, sir.
Sailor #4: Have we started again? (slap)
Sailor #1: STILL no sign of land. How long is it?
Sailor #2: 33 days, sir.
Sailor #1: Thirty-three days?
Sailor #2: We can't go on much longer, sir. We haven't
eaten since the fifth day.
Sailor #3: We're done for, we're done for!
Sailor #1: Shut up, Maudling.
Sailor #2: We've just got to keep hoping. Someone may
find us.
Sailor #4: How we feeling, Captain?
Captain: Not too good. I...I feel so weak.
Sailor #2: We can't hold out much longer.
Captain: Listen...chaps...there's still a chance.
I'm...done for, I've...got a gammy leg and I'm going
fast; I'll never get through. But...some of you might.
So...you'd better eat me.
Sailor #1: Eat you, sir?
Captain: Yes. Eat me.
Sailor #2: Iiuuhh! With a gammy leg?
Captain: You needn't eat the leg, Thompson. There's
still plenty of good meat. Look at that arm.
Sailor #3: It's not just the leg, sir.
Captain: What do you mean?
Sailor #3: Well, sir...it's just that -
Captain: Why don't you want to eat me?
Sailor #3: I'd rather eat Johnson, sir! (points to
sailor #4)
Sailor #2: So would I, sir.
Captain: I see.
Sailor #4: Well that's settled then...everyone's gonna
eat me!
Sailor #1: Uh, well.
Sailor #2: What, sir?
Sailor #1:: No, no you go ahead, please, I won't.......
Sailor #4: Oh, nonsense, sir, you're starving. Tuck in.
Sailor #1: No, no, it's not that.
Sailor #2: What's the matter with Johnson, sir?
Sailor #1: Well, he's not kosher.
Sailor #3: That depends how we kill him, sir.
Sailor #1: Yes, that's true. But to be perfectly frank
I...I like my meat a little more lean. I'd rather eat
Hodges.
Sailor #2: Oh well, all right.
Sailor #3: I still prefer Johnson.
Captain: I wish you'd all stop bickering and eat me.
Sailor #2: Look. I tell you what. Those who want to can
eat Johnson. And you, sir, can have my leg. And we make
some stock from the Captain, and then we'll have
Johnson cold for supper.
Sailor #1: Good thinking, Hodges.
Sailor #4: And we'll finish off with the peaches.
(picks up a tin of peaches)
Sailor #3: And we can start off with the avocados.
(picks up two avocados) Sailor #1: Waitress! (a
waitress walks in) We've decided now, we're going to

photo: WN / Janice Sabnal

The Walmart Supercentre in Victoria, British Columbia, Canada as seen in this June 9, 2011 photo.

[VIDEO]: Angry Woman Confronts Man Using Food Stamps At Walmart

Edit WorldNews.com 03 May 2016

[Note language 3rd, 5th, 6th, 7th paragraphs] A video posted online last week showing a man in a Walmart checkout line being confronted by an unidentified angry woman for using SNAP benefits, also known as food stamps, has gone viral, Raw Story reports. The video, which was first noted by HotTopics, has amassed nearly 290,000 views since going online on April 24 ... “I put in 50 to 60 hour weeks ... “The government is ... Vote Republican....

photo: AP / Mary Altaffer

Democratic presidential candidate, Sen. Bernie Sanders, I-Vt., greets a CWA worker at a Verizon workers picket line, Wednesday, April 13, 2016, in the Brooklyn borough of New York.

Sanders And RI Live-Up To Perpetual Revolution, Will Other States Follow?

Edit WorldNews.com 03 May 2016

Article by WN.com Correspondent Dallas DarlingAfter soundly winning last week’s Rhode Island presidential primary race, Sen. Bernie Sanders declared ... To be certain, Sen ... Rhode Island was actually founded by a dissenter banished from Massachusetts Bay Colony, later compromising with neighbors and allowing gender and cultural diversity ... Consequently, RI’s state flag shows a large anchor with one word underneath....

photo: AP / Cliff Owen

Pakistan Foreign Affairs Adviser Sartaj Aziz

Pakistan will get F-16s from elsewhere if funding not arranged, Aziz cautions US

Edit Dawn 03 May 2016

ISLAMABAD. Pakistan will acquire F-16s from elsewhere if the United States (US) does not arrange funding for the sale, Sartaj Aziz, the prime minister's adviser on foreign affairs, cautioned the US as both countries lock horns over the purchase of the fighter jets. Pakistan had earlier reached an understanding with the US for buying eight F-16 planes. Under the deal, Pakistan was required to pay about $270m from its national funds ... ....

photo: AP / Juliet Linderman

Former National Security Agency contractor Edward Snowden, center speaks via video conference to people in the Johns Hopkins University auditorium, Wednesday, Feb. 17, 2016, in Baltimore.

Edward Snowden: ‘Governments can reduce our dignity to that of tagged animals’

Edit The Guardian 03 May 2016

In this foreword from The Assassination Complex, a new book about drone warfare, the whistleblower explains why leaking information about wrongdoing is a vital act of resistance. ‘I’ve been waiting 40 years for someone like you.” Those were the first words Daniel Ellsberg spoke to me when we met last year ... They learn to live not just with untruths but with unnecessary untruths, dangerous untruths, corrosive untruths ... Twitter ... Twitter ... ....

photo: WN / Yolanda Leyba

French Man Sues Ex-Employer For Boredom

Edit Newsweek 03 May 2016

  ... His case highlights what critics say are problems with France’s labor market, with staff clinging to unrewarding jobs because they fear finding another amid persistent unemployment. ....

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Politics

Edit The Miami Herald 03 May 2016

More Videos. 04.03. Couch Commander ... Why a wonky delegate rule will help Donald Trump, explained by Monty Python. Republicans holding onto the dream of a last-minute, dark horse presidential nominee like House Speaker Paul Ryan or Mitt Romney may as well wake-up now — McClatchy Political Editor Steve "Buzz" Thomma and Monty Python explain why a little-known “eight-state” rule has essentially locked the nomination in for Donald Trump ... ....

Was choosing Carly Fiorina a good move? - Letters to the Editor

Edit The Dallas Morning News 03 May 2016

What about Cruz’s buddies?. Re. “Cruz move called bold, desperate — He makes early pick of Fiorina as running mate in attempt to derail Trump,” Thursday news story ... If Cruz loses in Indiana, his campaign will be dead in the water, but like Monty Python’s Black Knight, who pleaded to “call it a draw” even as his arms and legs lay on the ground about him after battle, Cruz just doesn’t seem to work with a good grip on reality ... Re ... 1 ... 2 ... 3 ... 4 ... ....

Animators Team Up To Redo Smash Bros. Melee's Intro

Edit Kotaku 02 May 2016

... Monty Python one around 1.18), tied together as one long fan remake....

WorldService Project tickets

Edit Skiddle 02 May 2016

Hare And Hounds in Birmingham. Thursday 5th May 2016. 8.30pm til 10.30pm. Minimum Age. 18. WorldService Project create an intriguing mix of Frank Zappa, Weather Report, Meshuggah and Stravinsky. Event Info. Venue.   Buy tickets securely ... Accepted ... Combined, they create an intriguing mix of Frank Zappa, Weather Report, Meshuggah and Stravinsky – all spiralling around in a Monty Python universe ... ... ....

Hunt’s bid to buy Texas’ biggest utility now hangs on a legal technicality

Edit The Dallas Morning News 02 May 2016

For Texas electricity customers, the fiscal fate of the state’s largest utility has become a series of dramatic cliffhangers. And today, there’s another cliff ... Whatever happens won’t affect anybody’s power bill in the short run ... Oncor is owned by Energy Future Holdings ... But the original purchase plan upon which months of filings and several PUC hearings depended on is as dead as the Monty Python parrot ... ....

Monty Python and the Holy GOP Fail

Edit The Washington Post 01 May 2016

Cartoon for May 2, 2016 ... ....

Meet the '6 Dad': how Norm Kelly became the Drake of Toronto politics

Edit The Guardian 01 May 2016

The city councillor, 74, knows his ‘baes’ from his ‘woes’ – and has become a meme of his own since he teamed with his hometown star in a Twitter feud. Norm Kelly is quite excited about Drake’s new album. He has that in common with all of Toronto. Views, released on Friday, is an ode to Drake’s hometown ... It was paternal ... “I grew up on Laurel and Hardy, Groucho Marx, Monty Python ... I grew up on Laurel and Hardy, Groucho Marx, Monty Python ... ....

Meet Ken Carlson from the YouTube screwball sci-fi comedy 'Dead Drift'

Edit The Examiner 30 Apr 2016

... a combination of Benny Hill meets Monty Python in outer space....

81-year-old Bangladeshi-British editor held on 'farcical' charges, son says

Edit The Guardian 29 Apr 2016

Son of Shafik Rehman, held in Bangladesh on suspicion of sedition, says his father ‘wouldn’t hurt a mosquito’. @nadiakhomami ... Related. If Bangladesh lets zealots extinguish its brightest minds, it is no democracy ... He described his father as “the most British sort of Bangladeshi you’ll find … he went to every England home game when they won the World Cup, he loves Monty Python, Fellini, Woody Allen, he has a cinema club in Bangladesh ... ....

Patrick Stewart happy to show off his dark side in ‘Green Room’

Edit The Oklahoman 29 Apr 2016

Diabolical, coldblooded, racist, horrifying. Not the sort of qualities you associate with Sir Patrick Stewart, a global darling for his wise, kindly roles in “Star Trek” and “X-Men .” ... It has a cautionary R rating “for strong brutal graphic violence, gory images, language and drug content.”. The setup is simple ... After playing Capt. Jean-Luc Picard and Prof ... He grew up loving Monty Python films because they were violent and funny ... ——— ... —————....

Sir Patrick Stewart Takes On Human Rights In Brilliant Guardian Video

Edit Huffington Post 28 Apr 2016

In more than a little nod to a very famous Monty Python sketch, The Guardian and Sir Patrick Stewart have teamed up to ask a very pertinent question. What has the European Convention on Human Rights ever done for us?. Well, quite a lot as it turns out.   ... BUT WHAT ABOUT OUR SOVEREIGNTY???!!!. Watch to the end for the answer to that. . ... ....

'Keanu' Finds Key And Peele On The Hunt For A Kitty

Edit National Public Radio 28 Apr 2016

i. Keegan-Michael Key as Clarence and Jordan Peele as Rell in Keanu. Steve Dietl/Courtesy of Warner Brothers Pictures hide caption ... With Monty Python as the exception that proves the rule, the big screen has been historically unkind to sketch comedy teams hoping their offbeat sensibility will survive the leap from five-minute bits to 90-minute features — and from cult fervor to mainstream success. Some fail outright, like Mr ... ....

Can Cruz + Kasich really stop Trump?

Edit The News & Observer 28 Apr 2016

He may never be president. But Bernie Sanders is America’s most popular senator. The least popular? Kentucky’s Mitch McConnell, the Senate Republican leader. They top the list of most popular and least popular senators in their home states, measured by Morning Consult, a nonpartisan media and survey technology company ... They include. Sens ... Sen ... Sen ... Sen ... Sen ... Sen ... Sen ... Why a wonky delegate rule will help Donald Trump, explained by Monty Python ... ....

Chemist Sketch - Monty Python's Flying Circus

Argument Clinic - Monty Python's The Flying Circus

A Selection Of Scenes From Monty Python's Life Of Brian

John Cleese's Monty Python Picks (2015) Compilation

Top 10 Monty Python Movie Moments

Olympic Hide and Seek Final - Monty Python's Flying Circus

'Spanish Inquisition' Compilation - Monty Python's Flying Circus

Monty Python - Dead Parrot

Self Defence Against Fresh Fruit - Monty Python's Flying Circus

Confuse-a-Cat - Monty Python's Flying Circus

The First Man To Jump The Channel - Monty Python's Flying Circus

Dennis Moore - Monty Python's Flying Circus

The New Cooker Sketch - Monty Python's Flying Circus

Kilimanjaro Expedition - Monty Python's Flying Circus

Monty Python's Personal Best

Cast

Monty Python's Flying Circus

The irreverent Monty Python comedy troupe present a series of skits which are often surreal, baudy, uncompromising, tasteless, but inevitably hilarious.

Cast

Famous quotes by Monty Python:

"Nudge, nudge, wink, wink. Know what I mean?"

"We are no longer the knights who say ni! We are now the knights who say ekki-ekki-ekki-pitang-zoom-boing!"

"It's funny, isn't it? How your best friend can just blow up like that?"

"-She turned me into a newt!"

"Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government!"

"My philosophy, like color television, is all there in black and white"

"I don't wanna talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! You mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!"

"Your highness, when I said that you are like a stream of bat's piss, I only mean that you shine out like a shaft of gold when all around it is dark"

"“It was a fantastic success. Over 60 000 times more powerful than Britain’s great pre-war joke, and one which Hitler just couldn’t match.”"

"Always look on the bright side of life."

Monty Python

ALBUMS

Монти Пайтон

ALBUMS

Chemist Sketch - Monty Python's Flying Circus

Argument Clinic - Monty Python's The Flying Circus

A Selection Of Scenes From Monty Python's Life Of Brian

John Cleese's Monty Python Picks (2015) Compilation

Top 10 Monty Python Movie Moments

Olympic Hide and Seek Final - Monty Python's Flying Circus

'Spanish Inquisition' Compilation - Monty Python's Flying Circus

Monty Python - Dead Parrot

Self Defence Against Fresh Fruit - Monty Python's Flying Circus

Confuse-a-Cat - Monty Python's Flying Circus

The First Man To Jump The Channel - Monty Python's Flying Circus

Dennis Moore - Monty Python's Flying Circus

The New Cooker Sketch - Monty Python's Flying Circus

Kilimanjaro Expedition - Monty Python's Flying Circus

Monty Python and the Holy Grail - Comedy HD [1080p]

Italian Lesson - Monty Python's Flying Circus

Silly Olympics Sketch - Monty Python's Flying Circus

Monty Python - Spam

The Cheese Shop sketch, Monty Python

Monty Python - Mafia

Flying Sheep - Monty Python's Flying Circus

Monty Python's best sketch ever

The Man Who Says Things In A Very Roundabout Way - Monty Python's Flying Circus

Chemist Sketch - Monty Python's Flying Circus

Argument Clinic - Monty Python's The Flying Circus

A Selection Of Scenes From Monty Python's Life Of Brian

John Cleese's Monty Python Picks (2015) Compilation

Top 10 Monty Python Movie Moments

Olympic Hide and Seek Final - Monty Python's Flying Circus

'Spanish Inquisition' Compilation - Monty Python's Flying Circus

Monty Python - Dead Parrot

Self Defence Against Fresh Fruit - Monty Python's Flying Circus

Confuse-a-Cat - Monty Python's Flying Circus

The First Man To Jump The Channel - Monty Python's Flying Circus

Dennis Moore - Monty Python's Flying Circus

The New Cooker Sketch - Monty Python's Flying Circus

Kilimanjaro Expedition - Monty Python's Flying Circus

Monty Python and the Holy Grail - Comedy HD [1080p]

Italian Lesson - Monty Python's Flying Circus

Silly Olympics Sketch - Monty Python's Flying Circus

Monty Python - Spam

The Cheese Shop sketch, Monty Python

Monty Python - Mafia

Flying Sheep - Monty Python's Flying Circus

Monty Python's best sketch ever

The Man Who Says Things In A Very Roundabout Way - Monty Python's Flying Circus