Colorectal surgery

The Bad News Bearer (2008)

Actors: Stephen Perron Guidry (writer), Stephen Perron Guidry (director), Stephen Perron Guidry (producer), Karen Lange (actress), Karen Lange (writer), Karen Lange (actress), Stephen Perron Guidry (editor), Matt Hartman (actor), Matt Hartman (writer), Nick Barnicle (writer), Andrew Eason (actor), Courtney Fontaine (writer), Courtney Fontaine (actress), Andrew Eason (writer), Jason Hutto (writer),

Genres: Comedy, Short,
Taglines: Good news! We deliver your bad news.

Emma Blue (2008)

Actors: Kant Pan (editor), Costas Mandylor (actor), Zack Norman (actor), Marios Strofalis (composer), Ion Webster (editor), Pamela Shaw (actress), Maria Kontodima (costume designer), Yiannis Koutsomitis (producer), Duncan Skinner (actor), Paul Ashby (producer), Stergios Ioannou (actor), Despina Mirou (actress), Yannis Kalogeropoulos (editor), Tess Spentzos (actress), Anthony Burk (actor),

Plot: Del, the Devil, is flying happily in the sky when suddenly he spots- Emma Shumacher, a middle-aged woman, good looking, wealthy, living in a beautiful house by the sea, but lonely. She has no children and her husband Eric, a lawyer and business man, to whom she is utterly attached, neglects her thoroughly by fooling around with young girls. But life has a secret plan for her. One day while lying next to the sea with a sexy photograph of an ad on her lap, in a dreamy mood, desperate in her misery, she experiences an enlightening moment! The visit of a man, who appears suddenly swimming towards her from nowhere makes her feel that for the first time in her life some secret wish of hers has come true. This same man appeared to her in a dream! Did she call him? She is stunned, but decides to welcome this turn of fate. Darcy Delane ("call me Del"), the mysterious visitor, has supernatural qualities. Who is he? She invites him to dine with her, obviously enchanted by him, and when her husband appears strange things start happening. The married couple enter their real crisis period after Del makes Eric confess his constant infidelity and the fact that their privileged life is over since Eric lost all his money to a crook named Victor. The next day Del declares to the husband that he is in love with his wife! Eric and Emma are both shocked, each for a different reason. In a moment of coquetry, and to make Eric jealous, she asks Del, who is an artist and an art dealer, to make a statue of her. At the same time Del offers Eric his help to get rid of the crook who is ruining his life. "Kill him!" is the plain solution. From now on we follow the crazy trip of Eric, bewitched by Del, trying repeatedly to kill Victor but without success. He doesn't have it. He is not "bad enough" as Victor tells him, to complete a task like that! Del promises to help him by "coaching"! Meanwhile Emma's statue is ready and in a moment of inspiration Del brings it alive! Eric is infatuated by the statue and takes it/her to his place-but because of his immense desire he is unable to perform the act with the very beautiful Blue Girl. He is impotent! Emma experiences perfect passion with Del, Eric experiences with Blue Girl and Victor total misery, and Del celebrates his success with Emma on cloud 9. But not for long. Emma, in a moment of awakening, hesitates, and longs for the real self that she has lost. Del, the amoral teaser of the world, feels defeated and angry, but in the end decides to bring Emma and Eric back together. He settles everything by offering the Blue Girl to Victor in exchange for Eric's business. Victor, meanwhile, gets greedy and wants more than Blue Girl from Del. But nobody can put the devil in a corner! So-

Keywords: adultery, character-name-in-title, devil, seduction, sex
Genres: Comedy, Romance,
Taglines: The Devil dallies with a woman whose husband is no longer interested and puts the husband through, well, hell.

Quotes:

Del: You look lovely in this light.::Emma Schumacher: There's no make-up like some wine in the other person.

Del: It's not who she sleeps with - it's who she thinks about.

Del: Erik, this is your life. Your crisis. Your murder. I think you should handle it yourself. It's a growth experience!

Emma Schumacher: You had this all thought out!::Del: Oh, no, I gave up thinking centuries ago - it leads absolutely nowhere! I'm all impulse!

Del: The truth can be amusing but one mustn't become addicted to it.

Erik Schumacher: You're tempting me!::Del: My dear Erik, what is life but temptation?::Erik Schumacher: You're evil! You're teaching me to be evil!::Del: Oh, you don't need me to teach you to be evil! You need me to teach you to be evil with style!

Del: With material like you one can do nothing significant.

Del: The secret of life is, while falling through the abyss, order a crisp little wine.

Emma Schumacher: Del, if I accept you I accept ...::Del: - everything! Life! - an evil business, always going wrong - but so seductive!

Victor Vronski: That's just to show you I'm serious.::Del: Serious! How dare you be serious! What an obscenity to be serious! You forfeit my respect by being serious!

Tony Gets His Piles Done (2007)

Actors: Miles Richardson (actor), David Secombe (writer), David Secombe (director), David Secombe (editor), Christopher Brand (actor),

Genres: Comedy, Short,

Reno 911!: Miami (2007)

Actors: Danny DeVito (actor), Patton Oswalt (actor), Dwayne Johnson (actor), Ken Marino (actor), Toby Huss (actor), J.P. Manoux (actor), Thomas Lennon (actor), Michael Ian Black (actor), Carlos Alazraqui (actor), Joe Lo Truglio (actor), Robert Ben Garant (actor), David Cohen (actor), David Koechner (actor), Paul Reubens (actor), Jack Plotnick (actor),

Genres: Comedy, Crime,
Taglines: In a time of crisis, America will call Reno 911! This Febuary, get ready for action that is so raw and unpredictable, it could only fit on the big screen.

Quotes:

Glen the Desk Clerk: You guys here for the suck-fest?

Deputy Trudy Wiegel: I'm pooping!

Terry: Your mom's a ukulele.

Lieutenant Jim Dangle: This is the stupidest group of people I've ever worked with who are not legally retarded.

Lieutenant Jim Dangle: Why was your hand on my dick?::Deputy Trudy Wiegel: I dreamt that I was driving in the Indie500!

Jeff Spoder: Johnson! Last words?::Deputy Clementine Johnson: [sigh] Legalize it.

Jeff Spoder: No immunity to bullets! [fires gun]

Deputy Travis Junior: Reno is a lot like Mayberry on the TV except that everyone's on crystal meth and prostitution's legal.

Deputy Travis Junior: I just had the weirdest dream.::Lieutenant Jim Dangle: You know you're driving, right?::[hits a porto-potty]::Lieutenant Jim Dangle: [cheerfully] Nobody in it!

Deputy Trudy Wiegel: Your watch is stuck in my pubes.

Skid Marks (2007)

Actors: Larry Groupé (composer), Michael J. Gallagher (miscellaneous crew), Michael Q. Schmidt (actor), Matthew Wolf (actor), Jeff Murphy (editor), Dianna Agron (actress), Monique La Barr (actress), Charlotte Marie (actress), David Schultz (actor), Shawnelle Cherry (costume designer), Mikey Post (actor), J.R. Nutt (actor), J.R. Nutt (actor), J.R. Nutt (actor), J.R. Nutt (actor),

Genres: Action, Comedy,
Taglines: A hardcore comedy about softcore medics.

Quotes:

Stripper: What's your name honey?::Louis "One Foot" Jones: One-Foot.::Stripper: Wait a minute, you're taller than one foot.::Louis "One Foot" Jones: Yeah, but that's not why they call me One-Foot.

Bob "The Brain": Calm down. You are like puppy on crack!

Bob "The Brain": Neil get the pills!::Neil: Attention everyone! Free viagra!::[Neil tosses a dozen Viagra bottles into the air. It's a male free-for-all as the bottles hit the ground]::Neil: Warning may cause anal leakage and premature death. I'm leaking right now...::[Neil runs off]

How to Kill Your Neighbor's Dog (2000)

Actors: Johnathon Schaech (actor), Lynn Redgrave (actress), Ty Olsson (actor), Kenneth Branagh (actor), Daniel Stern (actor), Lucinda Jenney (actress), Merrilyn Gann (actress), Doug Abrahams (actor), Jared Harris (actor), Mark Brandon (actor), Jay Brazeau (actor), Peter Riegert (actor), David Krumholtz (actor), Danny Dimbort (producer), Robin Wright (actress),

Plot: Shy, chain-smoking, insomniac Peter McGowan is an L.A. playwright with a string of hits that preceded his current ten years of failed productions. His mother-in-law is sinking into senility, a stranger is meandering the neighborhood claiming to be him, neighbors have a new dog that barks all night; his wife wants to have a child, and he does not: he's become impotent. He's working on a new play when a single mom moves in next door with her 8-year-old daughter. His wife immediately invites the girl into the McGowan household. Will this child stir Peter's paternal feelings? Will she also help him get his dialogue right? And what of his doppelganger and the neighbor's dog?

Keywords: actor, actress, affection, alzheimer's-disease, anger, angry-young-man, armenian, aromatherapy, author, autograph
Genres: Comedy, Drama,
Taglines: One man's pet is another man's peeve.

Quotes:

Larry: You're lucky. You got Melanie. There are men who'd die for her.::Peter McGowan: Yeah, die for her, or have her kill you. Either way, you're dead.::Larry: Still having trouble satiating, are we?::Peter McGowan: I think the doorbell's heard my wife shout "I'm coming" more than I have these days.

[Larry is dressed as a priest]::Peter McGowan: Can I have a valediction, father?::Larry: Say four Goly Fuck You's and keep drinking.

Peter McGowan: Are you drunk or something?::Larry: What time is it?::Peter McGowan: Four.::Larry: Yep.

Victoria: You're an alcoholic.::Adam: Alcoholics have class. I'm a fucking drunk.

Debra Salhany: So, how did you meet your wife?::Peter McGowan: She was a lap dancer, I had a pocket full of singles... No, she was a dancer. For a brief period, she gave acting a try. She came in for an audition, and the rest as they say is histrionics.::Debra Salhany: So, you employed the casting couch?::Peter McGowan: Hey, whatever works. You know that, Deborah.

Melanie McGowan: Other houses have M&Ms;, we stock up with Smarties. It's like living at the duty-free-shop at Heathrow.

Adam: They say women are the sensitive ones, but I've never seen it. They're as cold as party ice.::Victoria: I don't think that sucking on countless nipples makes one an authority on sensitivity.

Edna: You look just like my son-in-law.::Peter McGowan: I am your son-in-law, Edna.::Edna: My son-in-law's name is Peter.::Peter McGowan: No. I said your name was Edna. My name is Peter.::Edna: You just said your name was Edna... Edna's a funny name for a man. Been teased over the years?::Peter McGowan: Mercilessly. "Pete."

[Traffic report]::Laura Leeton: If the 405 is your morning route, I hope you don't have a history of showing up late to work, 'cause today you're fired.

Peter McGowan: Hollywood doesn't want writers, so much as secretaries with a flare for dialogue. If you want to be happy in Hollywood, be a cinematographer. Nobody knows what you're doing, so they can't screw with you.

DMB (2000)

Actors: Ivan Okhlobystin (actor), Aleksandr Belyavskiy (actor), Viktor Pavlov (actor), Juozas Budraitis (actor), Ivan Okhlobystin (writer), Aleksey Panin (actor), Vladimir Shainskiy (actor), Natalya Kharakhorina (actress), Stanislav Duzhnikov (actor), Aleksandr Tyutin (actor), Vladimir Smirnov (actor), Pyotr Fyodorov (actor), Sergey Gabrielyan (actor), Sergey Artsibashev (actor), Sergey Galkin (actor),

Plot: The student, Rifle, has managed to seduce his professor's wife, Bomber, an average working guy, has bought a factory and Bullet, the casino lover, is hiding from creditors. They all share a common path and conscription. In the army they teach you that everything must be smart and in order - cockades, straps and all, otherwise you're not fit to call yourself a person, you're a maggot. For a real man, there's no better place than the army.

Keywords: acronym-in-title, army, discipline, military, russian-soldier, uniform
Genres: Comedy,

Falling to Peaces (1999)

Actors: Marty Lodge (actor), Delaney Williams (actor), John R. Ellis (producer), John Schaub (miscellaneous crew), Desiree Marie Velez (actress), Phillip Reid (actor), Matthew Grove (director), Matthew Grove (producer), Lucy Brightman (actress), Holly Twyford (actress), Ellen Bartola (producer), David Silverstein (actor), Stephen Francis Quinn (actor), Michael Gurwitz (writer), Christopher Johnson (writer),

Plot: Ed Thomas is having health problems, his job is stressful, and now the coming weekend is shaping up to be a bad one. He has refused to go to his father's sixty-fifth birthday party, because he and his father don't get along. Unfortunately, circumstances decree that the party is coming to Ed's house, along with his whole extended family and all their problems.

Keywords: family-relationships, independent-film
Genres: Comedy, Drama,
Taglines: (It'll start)

Tunnel Vision (1976)

Actors: Joe Roth (actor), Pat Proft (actor), Neal Israel (actor), Howard Hesseman (actor), Neal Israel (actor), Phil Proctor (actor), Gerrit Graham (actor), Joe Flaherty (actor), John Candy (actor), Chevy Chase (actor), Al Franken (actor), James Bacon (actor), Tom Davis (actor), Ron Silver (actor), William Schallert (actor),

Plot: A committee investigating TV's first uncensored network examines a typical day's programming, which includes shows, commercials, news programs, you name it. What they discover will surely crack you up! This outrageous and irreverent spoof of television launched the careers of some of the greatest comedians of all time.

Keywords: absurd-humor, female-nudity, fictional-game-show, independent-film, irreverence, parody, satire, set-in-future, sitcom, sketch-comedy
Genres: Comedy,
Taglines: The funniest film of 1985. Laugh or get off the pot. More laughs per ounce! New and improved! The most outrageous comedy known to man!

Quotes:

Announcer: Tunnelvision... the no-bullshit network!

Tom: Well, don't worry about your breath or your armpits, Al. It's your personality that stinks.

Chevy Chase: [listing symptoms of schizophrenia] Going into a bar full of Hell's Angels and yelling "All you pussy bikers suck!"