Family Guy

The Griffin household includes two teenagers, a cynical dog who is smarter than everyone else, and an evil baby who makes numerous attempts to eradicate his mother. Heading up this eclectic household is Peter Griffin. Peter does his best to do what's right for the family, but along the way, he makes mistakes that are the stuff of legends.

Cast

• Alex Borstein
• Seth Green
• Seth MacFarlane
• Mila Kunis
• Mike Henry
• Lori Alan
• Patrick Warburton
• Danny Smith

• Season 1
• Play in Full Screen Episode 1: Death Has a Shadow
  [Peter is ordering from a fast food restaurant]::Peter Griffin: Yeah, I'd like 6, 000 chicken fagita...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 2: I Never Met the Dead Man
  Chris Griffin: I never knew anyone who went crazy before, except for my imaginary friend Captain Spr...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 3: Chitty Chitty Death Bang
  Chris Griffin: Hey, birthday dude! You want some ice cream?::Stewie Griffin: Yes, but no sprinkles. ...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 4: Mind Over Murder
  Peter Griffin: I can't even watch tv anymore All the shows are starting to run together!::Announcer:...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 5: A Hero Sits Next Door
  Brian: [mistaking a police scanner for a normal radio, during a crime report] Is it just me, or is r...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 6: The Son Also Draws
  Man: [quick dialog] Speed, I do not think you should be in this race, hahaa! The Mach 5 is not ready...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 7: Brian: Portrait of a Dog
  Peter Griffin: God I hate this freaking cat....
• Season 2
• Play in Full Screen Episode 1: Peter, Peter, Caviar Eater
  Peter Griffin: Oh come on Lois. It's time to act like the piece of schmidt you are::Lois Griffin: It...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 2: Holy Crap
  Peter Griffin: Dad, my God, are you okay?::Francis Griffin: [Francis slaps Peter in the face] Don't ...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 3: Da Boom
  Peter Griffin: [Peter is trying to convince Lois that the world is ending and trying to get her to g...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 4: Brian in Love
  Chris Griffin: [on the telephone] So, uh, what are you wearing? Wow! I bet you could see right throu...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 5: Love Thy Trophy
  Peter Griffin: I'd like to propose a toast to our neighbors. Sure they might be black, handicapped, ...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 6: Death Is a Bitch
  Peter Griffin: Hey, aren't you Richard Simmons? [thug hits him with pool stick and Peter isn't hurt]...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 7: The King Is Dead
  Lois Griffin: [auditioning cast members] Stewie! Do you wanna try out for Mommy's play?::Stewie Grif...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 8: I Am Peter, Hear Me Roar
  Peter Griffin: Why do women have boobs? So you got something to look at when you're talking to them....
• Play in Full Screen Episode 9: If I'm Dyin' I'm Lyin'
  Lois Griffin: [seeing Peter's "followers" building a golden statue of him] Oh, my God!::Peter Griffi...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 10: Running Mates
  Chris Griffin: [watching the election debate between his parents on TV] Go Dad!::Meg Griffin: He can...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 11: A Picture Is Worth 1,000 Bucks
  [Peter and Meg are sitting on a bench in Central Park by the ice rink. Meg does a bird call and a pi...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 12: Fifteen Minutes of Shame
  Diane Simmons: Peter, do you think there may be any validity to what Meg is feeling?::Peter: WHO ARE...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 13: Road to Rhode Island
  Brian Griffin: Listen kid there's something I've been meaning to tell you. It's no easy for me to sa...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 14: Let's Go to the Hop
  Peter Griffin: I had such a crush on her... until I met you, Lois. You're my silver medal....
• Play in Full Screen Episode 15: Dammit Janet
  Stewie Griffin: Oh, Rupert, I can't sleep. I don't suppose you have any Valium on you? Of course not...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 16: There's Something About Paulie
  Peter Griffin: Lois, what are you doing lying on the couch at this hour? Have you been drinking?::Lo...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 17: He's Too Sexy for His Fat
  Lois Griffin: Oh my, tomatoes are 3.99 a pound that's so high! Isn't that high? It seems so high!...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 18: E. Peterbus Unum
  Peter Griffin: Well how about you just give me your pen?::Adam West: You mean this cheap little pen ...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 19: The Story on Page One
  Chris Griffin: Brown is the color of poo.::Brian Griffin: Yes, yes it is....
• Play in Full Screen Episode 20: Wasted Talent
  Peter Griffin: This is it, pal. We're goners.::Brian Griffin: Peter, I want you to know I've really ...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 21: Fore, Father
  Meg Griffin: Mom, I can't clean - I got stuff to do!::Lois Griffin: Sweetheart, we all know you don'...
• Season 3
• Play in Full Screen Episode 1: The Thin White Line
  Brian Griffin: Ah... Sorry Doc. I don't usually let Peter talk me into this kinda stuff.::Lady: Wait...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 2: Brian Does Hollywood
  Zack: It's kind of like 'Bang the Drum Slowly' except the drum is a chick....
• Play in Full Screen Episode 3: Mr. Griffin Goes to Washington
  Peter Griffin: Lois, this is the best job I've ever had! Hey, since I've become President, profits h...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 4: One If by Clam, Two If by Sea
  Lois Griffin: [about Nigel] He's Charming. All british men are.::Peter Griffin: Sure Lois, that's wh...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 5: And the Wiener Is...
  Lois Griffin: We'll meet you in the ten-inches-or-less line.::[beat; Lois realizes what she's just s...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 6: Death Lives
  Death's Mother: Death, put on your jacket or you'll get frostbite!::Death: I don't have skin!::Death...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 7: Lethal Weapons
  Peter Griffin: Hey, excuse me, is your refrigerator running, because if it is, it probably runs like...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 8: The Kiss Seen Around the World
  Lois Griffin: [See's the bully tied up on a chair in the basement] What are you kids doing?::Stewie ...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 9: Mr. Saturday Knight
  Black Knight: You see that kids? Your father's nothing but a fizzle!::Peter Griffin: Nobody calls me...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 10: A Fish Out of Water
  'Find The Fish': I wonder where that fish did go. A fish, a fish, a fishy, oh!...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 11: Emission Impossible
  Peter Griffin: Oh, geez! My duodenum's acting up!...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 12: To Love and Die in Dixie
  Meg Griffin: [opening the closet door] Someone's in the closet!::Jeff Foxworthy: You know you're a r...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 13: Screwed the Pooch
  Lois Griffin: [after Brian takes off after Sea Breeze during a dog race] What's Brian doing?::Meg Gr...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 14: Peter Griffin: Husband, Father... Brother?
  Dennis Miller: I don't wanna go on a rant here, but America's foreign policy makes about as much sen...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 15: Ready, Willing and Disabled
  Peter Griffin: [enters Tom Tucker's room in a wheelchair with his head bandaged] Mr. Tucker, I have ...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 16: A Very Special Family Guy Freakin' Christmas
  Peter Griffin: Merry Christmas to all, and to all, shut the hell up!...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 17: Brian Wallows and Peter's Swallows
  Peter Griffin: [talking to Meg] No speakie until the man speakie to you....
• Play in Full Screen Episode 18: From Method to Madness
  [Stewie and Olivia have just finished their duet]::Simon: Watch this. Are you watching?::[Stewie and...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 19: Stuck Together, Torn Apart
  Lois Griffin: [while changing Stewie] And I'm just ashamed of myself that I let Peter's jealousy pre...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 20: Road to Europe
  Stewie Griffin: [singing] You and I are so awfully different, too awfully different, to ever be pals...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 21: Family Guy Viewer Mail #1
  Peter Griffin: I say, Quagmire, it seems to me we've each made another $500 million dollars.::Quagmi...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 22: When You Wish Upon a Weinstein
  [Brian is watching "Seinfeld"]::Jerry Seinfeld: So you couldn't date her because she was a tickler.:...
• Season 4
• Play in Full Screen Episode 1: North by North Quahog
  Trica Takanowa: [on news] I'm standing outside Manhattan's luxurious new Park Barrington Hotel becau...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 2: Fast Times at Buddy Cianci Jr. High
  Fish 1: You know what I hate? A Guy in a blue suit. [a dead man in a blue suit floats behind him]::F...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 3: Blind Ambition
  Peter Griffin: Okay, first of all, Bonnie, you've been pregnant for like six years, all right. Eithe...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 4: Don't Make Me Over
  Stewie Griffin: 10 bucks.::Brian Griffin: Five bucks.::Stewie Griffin: Eight bucks and I'll do it.::...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 5: The Cleveland-Loretta Quagmire
  [Loretta moaning in the background]::Brian Griffin: Hey do you hear that?::Peter Griffin: What?::Bri...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 6: Petarded
  Chris Griffin: My dad's smarter than your dad.::Meg Griffin: We have the same dad, idiot!::Chris Gri...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 7: Brian the Bachelor
  Stewie Griffin: Oh, I know it hurts now Brian, but look at the bright side, you have some new materi...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 8: 8 Simple Rules for Buying My Teenage Daughter
  Glen Quagmire: Hey Peter, uh... you have a card for if you transferred V.D. to somebody?::Peter Grif...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 9: Breaking Out Is Hard to Do
  Kidnapper: I got some candy in my van, if your kid wants some.::Parent: Oh great.::Parent: [Starts t...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 10: Model Misbehavior
  Tape Worm Inside Brian: You know what's interesting? I've only been alive for six weeks. I know noth...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 11: Peter's Got Woods
  Picard: Number One, if i whispered in your ear that Commander Worf's head looks like a fanny, would ...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 12: The Perfect Castaway
  Stewie Griffin: Oh, bitch! You got jacked, bitch!...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 13: Jungle Love
  Stewie Griffin: Do the women there have exposed clitterati?...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 14: PTV
  Stewie Griffin: Good Day to you sir. And now prepare to die....
• Play in Full Screen Episode 15: Brian Goes Back to College
  Cleveland: [as Mr. T] I pity the fool!::Cleveland: [normal voice] But I also suggest ways that he ma...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 16: The Courtship of Stewie's Father
  Lois Griffin: Peter, I need to talk to you about your son.::Peter Griffin: Which one, the fat one or...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 17: Fat Guy Strangler
  Lois Griffin: Peter, don't forget, you have your physical today at 1:00.::Peter Griffin: For the hun...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 18: The Father, the Son and the Holy Fonz
  Brian Griffin: Oh that's very Christian. Believe what I say or I'll hurt you.::Francis Griffin: Now ...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 19: Brian Sings & Swings
  Stewie Griffin: Hey Brian, remember me? I'm the guy you left standing at the counter at McDonald's w...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 20: Patriot Games
  Brian Griffin: [to Stewie] You shot me in both legs and set me on fire. Piss off....
• Play in Full Screen Episode 21: I Take Thee, Quagmire
  Peter Griffin: You know, this may not be cool, just throwing it out there, she *was* suicidal.::Deat...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 22: Sibling Rivalry
  Lois Griffin: Okay, one more minute, and then if there are two pink lines...::Peter Griffin: Oh god,...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 23: Deep Throats
  Lois Griffin: You know, it would be fun to write some new songs.::Stewie Griffin: You know what else...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 24: Peterotica
  Betty White: [to Peter] Hi. I'm Betty White. I just got a subpoena regarding an erotic novel and I'm...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 25: You May Now Kiss the... Uh... Guy Who Receives
  Lois Griffin: Oh my god, I've made a terrible mistake! I've been brainwashed like Elizabeth Smart.::...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 26: Petergeist
  Tom Tucker: A bit of breaking news. A local family is forced out of their home by ghosts. Who are th...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 27: Untitled Griffin Family History
  Peter Hitler: Hey there you are! Ready to go see that new skin flick at the boobengarden?::Adolf Hit...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 28: Stewie B. Goode
  The title is based on the Rock and Roll song "Johnny Be Goode" written and performed by 'Chuck Berry...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 29: Bango Was His Name, Oh!
  The title is based on the traditional children's song used to teach rhythmic skills, "There was a fa...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 30: Stu & Stewie's Excellent Adventure
  Stewie Griffin: You will not call them Mommy and Daddy! It's Lois and the Fat Man, do you understand...
• Season 5
• Play in Full Screen Episode 1: Stewie Loves Lois
  Peter Griffin: What the hell was that?::Dr. Hartman: Mr. Griffin, that was a prostate exam.::Peter G...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 2: Mother Tucker
  Banker: I don't quite understand. What exactly do you want this loan for?::Darth Vader: I want to bu...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 3: Hell Comes to Quahog
  Stewie Griffin: [there is a heat wave in Quahog] Brian, spit on me.::Brian Griffin: [spits on Stewie...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 4: Saving Private Brian
  'Marilyn Manson' (qv) refused to dub himself....
• Play in Full Screen Episode 5: Whistle While Your Wife Works
  Stewie Griffin: Life's confusing when we grow up, isn't it, Brian? Hey, can we listen to my mix tape...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 6: Prick Up Your Ears
  Peter Griffin: I'll be more convincing than Mel Gibson when he apologized to the Jews.::[cut to Mel ...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 7: Chick Cancer
  Stewie Griffin: [wearing Brian's hair on his chest and diaper] Hey, baby!::Jillian: Hi, Stewie!::Bri...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 8: Barely Legal
  Meg Griffin: Hey Brian!::Brian Griffin: Hey Meg! Listen, I hope you feel alright about our talk the ...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 9: Road to Rupert
  Lois Griffin: Who wants a glass of fresh lemonade?::Peter Griffin: Not me! What I want is a fresh gl...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 10: Peter's Two Dads
  [Peter sits on the couch, lighting a bong]::Brian Griffin: Peter, what are you doing?::Peter Griffin...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 11: The Tan Aquatic with Steve Zissou
  Stewie: [talking to Brian] You wouldn't know about it 'cause you're white as a ghost. You're hauntin...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 12: Airport '07
  Quagmire: [over the plane's intercom] Good afternoon ladies and gentleman, this is your captain Glen...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 13: Bill & Peter's Bogus Journey
  Mayor West: [Mayor West, in his underwear, finds Brian's "leavings" in his yard] Well, what do you k...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 14: No Meals on Wheels
  Peter Griffin: [buried beneath a pile of cripples and Ben Stiller has landed] Ben Stiller, help me.:...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 15: Boys Do Cry
  Peter Griffin: Hey, Lois, did you say something?::Lois Griffin: Oh, just that I think you're gonna l...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 16: No Chris Left Behind
  Principal Shepard: Chris Griffin... you are expelled from James Wood High::Chris Griffin: But if I l...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 17: It Takes a Village Idiot, and I Married One
  Glen Quagmire: ["campaigning" for Lois by seducing female voters] If I tried to masturbate right now...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 18: Meet the Quagmires
  Lois Griffin: [while dancing] Something just poked me!::Glen Quagmire: It's ok. It's just my penis....
• Season 6
• Play in Full Screen Episode 1: Blue Harvest
  [first lines]::Title card/crawl: A long time ago, but somehow in the future... It is a period of civ...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 2: Movin' Out (Brian's Song)
  Lois Griffin: Oh, hi, Brian. I thought you were spending the day with Jillian.::Brian: I was, but Pe...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 3: Believe It or Not, Joe's Walking on Air
  Cleveland: I hate shows that cut away from the story for some bullcrap....
• Play in Full Screen Episode 4: Stewie Kills Lois
  Ship's Captain: I'm sorry, but I'm afraid I'm going to have to bar you from the aft section of the s...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 5: Lois Kills Stewie
  [Stan Smith and Avery Bullock from "American Dad!" confront Brian and Stewie after Stewie gains cont...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 6: Padre de Familia
  Brian Griffin: Peter you didn't even know what 9/11 was until 2004.::Peter Griffin: That's not true ...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 7: Peter's Daughter
  Woman: [while making out with Jodie Foster, hearing a car pull in] Oh, no, Jodie, it's my husband. H...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 8: McStroke
  Lois Griffin: [on Peter's new mustache] I think it's handsome.::Brian Griffin: I think it's gay.::Pe...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 9: Back to the Woods
  James Woods: You're in a lot of trouble Griffin, you motherfucker!...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 10: Play It Again, Brian
  [Herbert is reading Chris a bedtime story]::Chris Griffin: Are you a pedophile?...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 11: The Former Life of Brian
  Stewie Griffin: [to Brian when he becomes a magician to impress a girl] You need more than that. You...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 12: Long John Peter
  Brian Griffin: [Brian is lying on the floor, after being severely beaten by Chris] OK someone needs ...
• Season 7
• Play in Full Screen Episode 1: Love Blactually
  Cleveland: I'm no meteorologist, but I'm pretty sure it's rainin' bitches....
• Play in Full Screen Episode 2: I Dream of Jesus
  Guy at party: Woah, Lindsay Lohan just took her top off!::Lindsay Lohan: Wow, I just drank a beer! W...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 3: Road to Germany
  Stewie Griffin: But where do we find uranium in WWII Europe?::Brian Griffin: There's only one place,...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 4: Baby Not on Board
  Peter Griffin: You wanna hurt me? Go right ahead if it makes you feel any better. I'm an easy target...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 5: The Man with Two Brians
  Lois Griffin: [comes out of a door with a bag of trash] Peter, what are you...::[sees that Peter is ...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 6: Tales of a Third Grade Nothing
  Tom Tucker: And now Peter Griffin. Peter, your word is "lesbians". "Lesbians".::Peter Griffin: Can y...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 7: Ocean's Three and a Half
  Brian Griffin: What's it called?::Stewie Griffin: Susie.::Brian Griffin: Wow, a song named after a g...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 8: Family Gay
  Lois Griffin: Is there a reason all the horses are named after cancelled Fox shows?::Announcer: Kitc...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 9: The Juice Is Loose!
  Per the title, "The Juice" was one of the nicknames for football player Orenthal James "O. J." Simps...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 10: FOX-y Lady
  Lois Griffin: Gush, it's an awfully big decision.::Anchorman: Lois please, take the job for Fox' sak...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 11: Not All Dogs Go to Heaven
  Stewie Griffin: This was exhausting. This whole experience was absolutely exhausting. You people hav...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 12: 420
  [Brian has to take a drug test but has just smoked pot]::Brian Griffin: Quick, Stewie! I need your u...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 13: Stew-Roids
  Stewie Griffin: Uh-oh! Spa-doodie-ohs!...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 14: We Love You Conrad
  Lauren Conrad: This is not about me being smarter than you. This is about you still being in love wi...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 15: Three Kings
  Chris Quagmire: Ha ha! Beat those cards, fellas! Ha ha ha! Giggety-giggety-fifties-giggety!...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 16: Peter's Progress
  Strawberry Peter: Ah... it's another pleasant day for me, Peter the Strawberry. Hey, Mr. Worm. I wel...
• Season 8
• Play in Full Screen Episode 1: Road to the Multiverse
  Brian Griffin: Okay, I'm a new neighbor, and you're my pet human, Hotchkis, got it?::Stewie Griffin:...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 2: Family Goy
  Max: Becoming Jewish doesn't happen overnight. It's a process that involves spiritual education and ...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 3: Spies Reminiscent of Us
  [a missile attacks Cleveland's new house while he's in the bathtub]::Cleveland Brown: [Sitting in th...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 4: Brian's Got a Brand New Bag
  The title references 'James Brown (I)' (qv)'s song "Papa's Got a Brand New Bag"....
• Play in Full Screen Episode 5: Hannah Banana
  [Brian and Stewie have discovered that Miley Cyrus is actually an android built by Disney]::Stewie: ...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 6: Quagmire's Baby
  Bitch-Brian: I stuck a pencil in my bum and now I need a band-aid!...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 7: Jerome Is the New Black
  Glen Quagmire: You wanna maybe just go?::Brian Griffin: Quagmire, come on. I'm really trying hard he...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 8: Dog Gone
  Brian Griffin: You see, I'd thought I start out locally, then try to merge with one of the larger gr...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 9: Business Guy
  Peter Griffin: Does the name Lacey Chabert mean anything to you?...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 10: Big Man on Hippocampus
  Richard Dawson: Name something you sit in.::Lois Griffin: A chair.::Stewie Griffin: My own feces.::R...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 11: Dial Meg for Murder
  Peter Griffin: Hold on Lois, this is some serious parenting. I'm going to go put on my Cosby sweater...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 12: Extra Large Medium
  Stewie Griffin: Hey Chris, did you know your bacne spells 'Citibank' in braille?...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 13: Go, Stewie, Go!
  Julie: Don't mind Randall. He's just getting into character.::Stewie Griffin: Is he playing a dick?...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 14: Peter-assment
  After Peter has some luck selling footage of a celebrity he caught off-guard, he decides to become a...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 15: Brian Griffin's House of Payne
  James Woods: What a pain in my class!...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 16: April in Quahog
  Brian Griffin: Stewie, can you please move? You're blocking the TV.::Stewie Griffin: No! And I'll th...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 17: Brian & Stewie
  Stewie Griffin: You cried after Columbine.::Brian Griffin: Yeah, it was a national tragedy.::Stewie ...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 18: Quagmire's Dad
  Quagmire's father, Dan, comes to Quahog for a visit. Peter and Joe meet him, hoping to learn what ma...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 19: The Splendid Source
  [Extended DVD scene]::Lois Griffin: Well, peter I'm glad you and the guys finally found what you wer...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 20: Something, Something, Something, Dark Side
  Lois Griffin as Princess Leia: [watches Slave-1 fly off] Oh, no. We've lost Han. They're taking him ...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 21: Partial Terms of Endearment
  [Meg offers to host the baby]::Meg Griffin: I can do it!::Lois Griffin: Oh come on Meg, it was hard ...
• Season 9
• Play in Full Screen Episode 1: And Then There Were Fewer
  Glen Quagmire: Can't we all just be happy she's dead?...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 2: Excellence in Broadcasting
  Lois Griffin: Even true things, once said on Fox News, become lies....
• Play in Full Screen Episode 3: Welcome Back Carter
  First episode not to feature Stewie....
• Play in Full Screen Episode 4: Halloween on Spooner Street
  Chris Griffin: Uh, Brian, why are you pink?::Brian Griffin: [sniffing] Why do you two smell like swe...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 5: Baby, You Knock Me Out
  When Peter receives tickets to a boxing match as a birthday gift, he volunteers Lois to compete. To ...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 6: Brian Writes a Bestseller
  Feeling discouraged with the progress of his writing career, Brian decides to throw in the towel unt...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 7: Road to the North Pole
  Stewie's favorite thing after his teddy bear, Rupert, is Christmas. So when he hears that Santa is m...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 8: New Kidney in Town
  After years of drinking with the guys, Peter's love of the sauce has finally caught up with him and ...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 9: And I'm Joyce Kinney
  Pastor: [after he finds out Lois was in a pornographic film] You are no longer welcome here, Lois Gr...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 10: Friends of Peter G.
  Brian Griffin: This sucks! I can't believe that judge is making us go to a month of AA.::Lois Griffi...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 11: German Guy
  Lois Griffin: I'm pretty sure our washing machine is pregnant. I don't even know how that's scientif...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 12: The Hand That Rocks the Wheelchair
  Bonnie's line about her gambling addiction is an inside joke about the actress who voices Bonnie, 'J...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 13: Trading Places
  [last lines]::Dr. Hartman: Hey, what do you guys do when the screen goes black?...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 14: Tiegs for Two
  The name of the restaurant at the end of this episode is L'espéce D'andouille, which in French rough...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 15: Brothers & Sisters
  When Mayor West marries Lois' sister, Carol, they move into the Griffin's house to be one big "happy...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 16: The Big Bang Theory
  Stewie and Brian go back in time to stop Bertram from killing Leonardo da Vinci....
• Play in Full Screen Episode 17: Foreign Affairs
  Meg Griffin: The goat flu outbreak at school is over and, honestly, I'm afraid we're not learning an...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 18: Episode VI: It's a Trap
  Stewie Griffin as Darth Vader: [after Luke is injured during the lightsaber duel] We'll be lucky to ...
• Season 10
• Play in Full Screen Episode 1: Lottery Fever
  This is the second time the theme song was interrupted....
• Play in Full Screen Episode 2: Seahorse Seashell Party
  [last lines of the episode, as the Griffins have a group hug when Stewie addresses the viewer]::Stew...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 3: Screams of Silence: The Story of Brenda Q
  [Jeffrey thinks he's strangled Quagmire as he digs his grave when the car lights come on and it's Qu...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 4: Stewie Goes for a Drive
  Brian Griffin: Sometimes in life, you just have to accept what's coming to you. Like the contestant ...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 5: Back to the Pilot
  [Brian and Stewie travelled back in time to January 31, 1999, the day that Family Guy first premiere...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 6: Thanksgiving
  Lois cooks a big Thanksgiving meal and invites the whole crew over for dinner, and Joe is shocked wh...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 7: Amish Guy
  Eli's Father: Dear Amish Lord: Thou lookest sternly down upon us-thine flock-even though we did not ...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 8: Cool Hand Peter
  Glenn Quagmire: [Peter, Cleveland, Joe, and Quagmire are hiding from the sheriff and are all handcuf...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 9: Grumpy Old Man
  It's winter in Quahog, and Lois' parents, Carter and Babs, take Stewie for a trip. But when Carter f...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 10: Meg and Quagmire
  When Meg finally turns 18, Quagmire seizes the opportunity to pursue his next romantic conquest. As ...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 11: The Blind Side
  Brian starts dating a blind girl and things get a little dicey when she divulges that she hates dogs...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 12: Livin' on a Prayer
  When Stewie's new best friend falls ill, Lois takes him to the hospital where she finds out he has a...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 13: Tom Tucker: The Man and His Dream
  When Peter decides to become a famous actor, he becomes Tom Tucker's agent as his first step toward ...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 14: Be Careful What You Fish For
  When Peter and the guys try to salvage a sunken Mercedes-Benz, Peter half-heartedly promises a favor...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 15: Burning Down the Bayit
  Overwhelmed with financial troubles, Mort asks Peter and Quagmire to help him save his pharmacy. How...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 16: Killer Queen
  When Peter and Chris go away to fat camp, they cross paths with a serial killer who targets overweig...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 17: Forget-Me-Not
  When a seemingly innocent guy's night out takes a sudden turn, Peter, Joe, Brian and Quagmire wake u...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 18: You Can't Do That on Television, Peter
  USA:1 April 2012...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 19: Mr. & Mrs. Stewie
  Stewie becomes smitten when he meets Penelope, a girl who happens to be the female version of himsel...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 20: Leggo My Meg-O
  When Meg travels abroad to Europe, her exciting adventure comes to a halt when she gets kidnapped. B...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 21: Tea Peter
  RAT:16:9 HD...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 22: Viewer Mail #2
  RAT:16:9 HD...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 23: Internal Affairs
  Joe Swanson: I want a divorce!::Bonnie Swanson: Well you're getting it!...
• Season 11
• Play in Full Screen Episode 1: Into Fat Air
  USA...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 2: Ratings Guy
  Peter Griffin: J.J. Abrams, you take wonder and complexity and present it in a way that no one can p...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 3: The Old Man and the Big 'C'
  Jerry: I guess a lot of people are sneezing out there.::Kleenex Guy: Jerry, Jerry, I'm gonna let you...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 4: Yug Ylimaf
  The plot of the film hinges on time moving in reverse. The episode title, "Yug Ylimaf" is the name o...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 5: Joe's Revenge
  USA...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 6: Lois Comes Out of Her Shell
  USA...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 7: Friends Without Benefits
  USA...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 8: Jesus, Mary and Joseph!
  USA...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 9: Space Cadet
  USA...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 10: Brian's Play
  The scene were Brian (a mediocre writer) reads through Stewie's play 'An American Marriage' to class...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 11: The Giggity Wife
  USA...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 12: Valentine's Day in Quahog
  RAT:16:9 HD...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 13: Chris Cross
  Stewie Griffin: [after listening to some Anne Murray music] What a woman. And to think Canada has go...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 14: Call Girl
  RAT:16:9 HD...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 15: Turban Cowboy
  Peter Griffin: O.M.A.!...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 16: 12 and a Half Angry Men
  RAT:16:9 HD...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 17: Bigfat
  [Peter is dreaming about Stan Smith killing him for telling Quagmire about Roger]::Lois Griffin: Pet...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 18: Total Recall
  RAT:16:9 HD...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 19: Save the Clam
  RAT:16:9 HD...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 20: Farmer Guy
  Jodie Sweetin: Hey are you guys in there? Peter I need a taste.::Peter Griffin: Oh my god it's Jodie...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 21: Roads to Vegas
  RAT:16:9 HD...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 22: No Country Club for Old Men
  Stewie Griffin: Brian have you seen the remote? I want to watch the Weather Channel. They're some to...
• Season 12
• Play in Full Screen Episode 1: Finders Keepers
  RAT:16:9 HD...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 2: Vestigial Peter
  RAT:16:9 HD...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 3: Quagmire's Quagmire
  When Quagmire meets a woman named Sonja, who is as sexually insatiable as he is, he is thrilled to f...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 4: A Fistful of Meg
  Glenn Quagmire: To this day I can't have sex with a woman against her will, without thinking of rape...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 5: Boopa-dee Bappa-dee
  RAT:16:9 HD...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 6: Life of Brian
  Brian Griffin: [dying on an operating table after being hit by a car] You've given me a wonderful li...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 7: Into Harmony's Way
  With Brian's death this marks as none of the main characters appear in all episodes....
• Play in Full Screen Episode 8: Christmas Guy
  RAT:16:9 HD...
• Play in Full Screen Episode 9: Peter Problems
  USA:5 January 2014...
• Season 13
• Play in Full Screen Episode 1: The Simpsons Guy
  RAT:16:9 HD...