When freedom is gone, all hope is lost.
Plot
"Whorified!" is a scripted comedy series that parallels the worlds of TV production and prostitution during the making of a low-rent reality series that invites woman to compete as prostitutes on the streets of Los Angeles.
Keywords: parody
America prepare to get Whorified!
Plot
Jacob and Frank Caesar, two murderous fugitives, have chosen the secluded woods surrounding Rabbit Hash, Kentucky, to bury their latest victim. One shallow grave stands between them and freedom. They had no idea what they were about to get into. In Rabbit Hash, when the sun goes down, the temperature raises. Deep inside this forest, the last remnants of the 1970's - a disco called "The Funk Haven" - languishes. It is the last refuge for the polyester-clad lounge lizards of the bygone decade. But, there is one more thing more terrifying than disco in the new century: they are also VAMPIRES! Tonight at midnight, the Master Disco Vampire, Desmodus, will return to lead his minions to the Vampire Promised Land. However, Rabbit Hash is home to a second clan of vampires called The Crypts. This modern Gothic vampire clan plans to wipe out the Disco Vampires, assassinate Desmodus upon his arrival and begin their conquest of the Vampire Promised Land. Watch as Jacob and Frank battle these fang bearing foes with the assistance of a deranged vampire hunter!
Disco is undead.
Disco Sucks.
Stone: Dy-no-mite, motherfuckers!
Freelove: You better lay some tracks and get your fugly face outta my frolic pad!
Tepes: Let's show them how we "break it down."
Jacob: What in Christ's name is that?::Maria: It's a fro with fangs!
Frank: Check it out Jacob, real silver! No, honestly, it's real. I bit it.::Jacob: You bite gold because it's soft. You bite that and you'll break whatever teeth you have left.
Stone: Holy Quervo, baby! Straight white tequila! It's like licking the sweat off of a Tiawana ditch digger!
Desmodus: I got talk in my walk. A glide in my ride. And I'm gonna flip you a patty fulla funk onto your sizzlin' hot grill.::Chic Chick: Your words got bite, baby!::Desmodus: Fang you very much.
Freelove: Damn! If I were an action figure, I'd have "Ho-Smackin' Action!"::The Gas: Bitches and hos sold separately!
Guano (via Spanish, ultimately from the Quechua wanu, meaning 'dung') is the excrement (feces and urine) of seabirds, cave dwelling bats, and seals. Guano manure is an effective fertilizer due to its high levels of phosphorus and nitrogen and also its lack of odor. It was an important source of nitrates for gunpowder. Soil that is deficient in organic matter can be made more productive by addition of this manure.
Guano consists of ammonium oxalate and urate, phosphates, as well as some earth salts and impurities. Guano also has a high concentration of nitrates. Bird guano has a fertilizer analysis of 11 to 16 percent nitrogen, 8 to 12 percent equivalent phosphoric acid, and 2 to 3 percent equivalent potash. Bat and seal guano are lower in fertilizer value than bird guano.
The word "guano" originates from the Quichua language of the Andes and means "the droppings of sea birds". Andean peoples collected guano from the coast of Peru for use as soil enricher. The rulers of the Inca Empire assigned great value to guano, restricting access to it and punishing any disturbance to the birds with death.
Jorge Cervantes is a pseudonym for George Van Patten, a horticulturist and writer specializing in indoor, outdoor, and greenhouse cannabis cultivation. His books, articles, photographs and instructional DVDs have been sold worldwide as guidebooks to horticultural techniques to high-yield closet, basement, backyard, and guerrilla gardens.
Van Patten developed his lifelong interest with cannabis as a university student in Mexico. After graduation, he moved to California and became a guerrilla grower of "sinsemilla" (Spanish for without seeds) marijuana, the "new" high-quality cannabis that Mexicans reserved for domestic consumption. In the early 1980s, Cervantes started growing indoors, but a lack of credible information about indoor cultivation led him to author Indoor Marijuana Horticulture in 1983. The book became a best-seller, and successful indoor growers dubbed it the "Indoor Grower's Bible" which became the book's subtitle. Today, growers simply call it "The Bible".
Van Patten (as Jorge Cervantes) first published the book Indoor Marijuana Horticulture in 1983. That first edition was 96 pages, bound by staples, and printed in black and white. Now in its fifth edition, with 512 full-color pages and 1120 full-color photographs and illustrations.Marijuana Horticulture sold over 600,000 copies printed in Dutch, English, French and German. Marijuana Horticulture has just been released in Spanish, Italian, and in Russian. The book's credits list more than three hundred contributors including Rob Clarke and Ed Rosenthal.