• Lyrics: play full screen play karaoke
• Tuba - Rowwen Hèze
• Waitaminute - Tuba!
• The Dap Rap (feat. Ev) - Tuba!

(Trad. bew. Jack Poels/Ned. tekst Jack Poels)
ik ken 'n megje dat woj danse
ik ken 'n megje dat woj danse de ganse oavend lang
van links nar rechts oaver de dansvloor
op en neer oaver de dansvloor vur niks en niemand bang
iederien numde d'r tuba
iederien numde d'r tuba want ze dreunde nogal door
als tuba kloar waas um te walse
als tuba kloar waas um te walse stong d'r niemand op de vloor
refrein: want als tuba ging walse
dreide 't ganse cafe
de ganse oavend woj ze walse
al ging 't behang van de moor
tuba die dreide mar door
op enne oavend nar 't eate
'k zal 't mien leave neet vergeate
ze kos neet stoppe bleef mar dreie
steeds harder ging ze rond
vur de oege van de minse
vur de oege van de minse zakte tuba in de grond
ze zakte langzaam dor de dansvloor
ze zakte langzaam dor de dansvloor en ze ging umlieg
allien 'n gaat dat is gebleeve
allien 'n gaat dat is gebleeve en 'n burdje woar op stiet
refrein
noeit kwaam tuba mier boave
tuba kwaam noeit mier terug
in de aarde begraave
begraave deep onder de grond

Now waitaminute!
Hey man! What’s going on?
Why is everybody always lookin’ at my schlong?
Now waitaminute!
Am I the cause of this racket?
Get a grip. I have a big package!
When I came out the womb, the doc was like ‘Jesus–
Either that’s a broom or a really big penis!”
The doc was right as far as he could gauge,
‘Cause at 8 feet long , I was big for my age.
SO it grew with me, and I grew with it,
And with all the ladies, it was a big hit.
I was in love with my wang- couldn’t argue with that
‘Cause when I played baseball I didn’t need a bat!
Man, I soared through life- I never was a loner
When in need of a friend, I just popped a boner.
And there it was, standing tall in a jiffy.
You could see it from space! They called it “Super Stiffy”
Now these ladies are crazy, tryin’ to get a grip on it.
My wang is so big, one time I tripped on it.
I guess everybody wants a piece of my wang.
Got a call from Biggie Smalls: “Hey man! Let’s hang!”
Now waitaminute!
Hey man! What’s going on?
Why is everybody always lookin’ at my schlong?
Now waitaminute!
Am I the cause of this racket?
Get a grip. I have a big package!
Now at times my gift can be a sheer fiasco,
It don’t coil like rope or swing like a lasso.
Dicks can’t be stumped or suppressed like a cough
‘Cause once they turn on, it’s hard to turn off.
The nights are long and the days are rough
I look in the mirror and enough is enough.
There’s too much tube for one man to function,
I hit up the pages for penis reduction.
It says I need to travel, but I really don’t wanna.
The closest operation takes place in Tijuana .
Never mind, I kind of like the attention.
I’m always the subject of other people’s apprehension.
Most men act a fool when they see me
And make the gasface like they drank a Fartini
Now where’s the beef? You best cheer up mister.
And when they turn around I finish dicking their sister.
Now waitaminute!
Hey man! What’s going on?
Why is everybody always lookin’ at my schlong?
Now waitaminute!
Am I the cause of this racket?
Get a grip. I have a big package!

Announcer:
Round 1, fight!
Tuba:
Now gather 'round kids, 'cause its time for a lesson,
Tuba's gonna clean up the filth you've been ingesting,
How do people go on living with ulterior wills
And possess inferior skills, still?
I can stand back handing out free samples,
Or prove that my rap reserve is ample,
Example: my rhymes are so sick that they're sippin' on Swanson,
'Cause I rock way harder than the actor Dwayne Johnson.
Rappers with beef get dried up like jerky,
'Cause their hustle is faker than a box of tofurkey.
My style is clumsy, drop beats like whoops!
Critics give me thumbs up like a Billy Mays salute.
Got my shine on tonight– designated entertainer,
Let's hope I don't lose it like my last three retainers.
Looking tight in white, fashion sense like the pope,
I'm King Fly-dias, anything I touch turns to dope.
Both:
Here (here) we (we) come with the dap rap,
Saving hip-hop from falling in the crap trap,
Dishing out hooks like a left-right slap jab,
Here (here) we (we) come with the dap rap.
Announcer:
Uppercut! Round 2! Fight!
Ev:
Back in the gum world and ready to teach a couple lessons,
So grab your pen and take some notes before I start progressing.
I needed a sick beat like this just to say how I felt,
I'm a sensei of the game while you're just a yellow belt.
So feel the funk, turn it up, and let your body rock,
Let me open up this style like I forgot to knock.
I stay clean with it like I just got out of the shower,
Look good in anything, I go 90 styles per hour.
I kick a brand new flavor in your ear,
And leave the rest of you to crash like you forgot how to steer,
'Cause I'm elementary with it– I'm so arts and crafty,
I am so proactive, I could probably cure acne.
I am so insane, I should be locked away,
But then all that's left is rappers fruity as sorbet,
Haters can choke on my words like small plastic parts,
Have a recall on my verse and take me off of the charts!
Both:
Here (here) we (we) come with the dap rap,
Saving hip-hop from falling in the crap trap,
Dishing out hooks like a left-right slap jab,
Here (here) we (we) come with the dap rap.
Announcer:
You lose. Round 3!
Both:
Here (here) we (we) come with the dap rap,
Saving hip-hop from falling in the crap trap,
Dishing out hooks like a left-right slap jab,
Here (here) we (we) come with the dap rap.
Announcer:
Perfect.