Born under a bad sign
Been down since I began to crawl
If it wasn't for bad luck
You know, I wouldn't have no luck at all
Hard luck and trouble been my only friend
I been on my own ever since I was ten
Born under a bad sign
I been down since I began to crawl
If it wasn't for bad luck
You know, I wouldn't have no luck at all
I don't like to read, I can hardly write
My whole life has been one big fight
Born under a bad sign
I been down since I began to crawl
If it wasn't for bad luck
I said I wouldn't have no luck at all
And that ain't no lie
You know, if it wasn't for bad luck
I wouldn't have no kind of luck
If it wasn't for real bad luck
I wouldn't have no luck at all
You know fear of falling is all I crave
A big bag of pork rinds gonna carry me to my grave
Born under a bad sign
I been down since I began to crawl
If it wasn't for bad luck
I tell ya I wouldn't have no luck at all
Good take boys, yeah
I think now that I'm a blues singer
I should have some kind of name
How 'bout Muddy Simpson
No, Big Homer, T-Bone Homer
Blind Lemon Simpson, Blind Lemon lime Homer
Blind Grapefruit Homer, Blind Strawberry Alarm Clock Homer
Oh, the bases were empty on the diamond of my heart
When the coach called me up to the plate
I'd been swingin' and missin' and lovin, and kissin
My average was point double-o eight
So I spit on my hands
Knocked the dirt from my spikes
And pointed right towards center field
This time I'm hittin' the home run, this time love is for real
I'll slide, I'll steal, I'll sacrifice a lovin' fly for you
I've been slumpin' off season
But now I've found the reason
I've struck on a love that is true
I used to play the field, I used to be a roamer
But season's turnin' around for me now
I've finally bagged me a Homer
You work all day for some old man
Sweat and break your back, uh huh
Then you go back to your castle
But your queen won't cut you slack, that's true
That's why you're losing all your hair
That's why you're overweight, uh huh
That's why you flipped your pick-up truck
Right off the inner state, that's right
Except for the pick-up truck, now you talk so tough
and act so rough but darlin', you can't hide the heartache
And the sadness that's buried deep inside
There's a lot of bull they hand you
There's nothin' you can do
Your wife don't understand you but I do
Your wife don't understand you but I do
Well, sir, there's nothing on earth
Like a genuine, bona fide
Electrified, six-car monorail
What'd I say?
Monorail
What's it called?
Monorail
That's right! Monorail
Monorail
Monorail
Monorail
I hear those things are awfully loud
It glides as softly as a cloud
Is there a chance the track could bend?
Not on your life, my Hindu friend
What about us brain-dead slobs?
You'll be given cushy jobs
Were you sent here by the Devil?
No, good sir, I'm on the level
The ring came off my pudding can
Take my pen knife, my good man
I swear it's Springfield's only choice
Throw up your hands and raise your voice
Monorail
What's it called?
Monorail
Once again
Monorail
But Main Street's still all cracked and broken
Sorry, Mom, the mob has spoken
Monorail!
Monorail!
Monorail!
Monorail!
And today's special is Springfield Soul Stew
We sell so much of this, people wonder what we put in it
Well, we're gonna tell ya right now
Gimme about a half a teacup of bass
Now, I need a pound of fatback drums
Now, gimme four tablespoons of boilin' Springfield guitar
This is gonna taste alright
Delicious
Now, just a little pinch of organ
Now, gimme half a pint of horn
Place on the burner and bring to a boil
Yep, that's it, that's it, that's it, right there
Now beat, well, take it Lisa
Thank you
Now, let's take it on home
'Cause we gotta go home
Spider pig
Spider Pig
does whatever a spider pig does
can he swing
from a web
no he can't
he's a pig
looooook out
Our life is so confusing
No reason and no rhyme
We've got this funny feeling
Getting old before our time
Gimme what ya got
Gimme what ya got
I know what ya got
Gimme what ya got
What kind of love brings such confusion?
Shuts out the sun and kills all glee
What are these blues we're here to tell you?
It's sibling rivalry
I don't wanna share
Wanna make you nuts
Gimme what ya got
Gotta have it all
Sometimes, I see her doing homework
I'm working hard all by myself
And who can stand a happy sister?
He hates, I don't require help
(Ooh, ooh, ooh)
I put a spider on her shoulder
(Oh ya, woo)
I'm not aware that it is fake
(Ooh, ooh, ooh)
I ask her what the heck that thing is
(Eww!)
I turn and start, I scream and shake
(Scream and shake)
Why does it feel so good?
My dear old fun
I know it's wrong to feel so mean
But you shoulda heard her scream
Ha ha ha
(Ooh, ooh, ooh)
Ha ha ha
(Ooh, ooh, ooh)
Ha ha ha
(Ooh, ooh, ooh)
Ha ha ha
(Ooh, ooh, ooh)
I am not blameless in this equation
She likes to talk over my head
Poor Bart, his trials and tribulations
(Poor Bart)
Before a test she makes me dread
(Ooh, ooh, ooh)
'Cause I predict that he will fail
(Gonna flunk, woo ooh)
I chase her down when she is right
(Ooh, ooh, ooh)
When I refuse to just turn tail
(Hold your ground, Lisa)
We have our most outstanding fights
(Outstanding fights)
What kind of love brings such contusions?
All these band-aids the world can see
What is this shame we're here to tell you?
It's sibling rivalry
A brother and a sister
We're trying not to boast
But we can't help believing
That we'll always be this close
Siblings find it oh, so hard
When it comes to giving
Let them once try singing
Background for a living
A brother and a sister
We will always be this close
I've got a bratty brother
Who bugs me every day
This morning my old mother
Gave my last cupcake away
My dad he acts like
Like he belongs in the zoo
I'm the saddest kid
The saddest kid in grade number two
I wish I had a pony
I wish I were eighteen
I wish I had a dime
For every kid who treats me mean
They tease me 'cause I'm diff'rent
Little diff'rent from the rest, oh yes
Well, I'm down so low
If I cheered up, I'd still be depressed
The saxophone's my best friend
I play all over town
But when I practice in my room, I hear
"Lisa! Keep it down"
Although I'm only eight years old
I've really paid my dues, it's true
That's why I've got a case of
A case of the moanin' Lisa blues
I wonder how I got here
I wonder what I'll be
The saddest little twig
On this crazy family tree
I feel like I'm a loser
With nothing left to lose
That's why I've got a case of
A case of the moanin' Lisa blues
Oh, there's just no postponing
Hmm, Marge, I was born to make you happy
I think, you're just my style
Everywhere I go, tellin' everyone I know
Baby, I love to see you smile
Don't want to take a trip to China
Don't want to sail up the Nile
Wouldn't wanna get too far from where you are
'Cause I love to see you smile
In the summer, in the springtime
Winter or fall
The only place I want to be
Is where I can see you smile at me
Like a sink without a faucet
Like a watch without a dial
What would I do if I didn't have you?
I love to see you smile
In the summer, in the springtime
Winter or the fall
The only place I wanna be
Is where I can see you smile at me
In a world that's full of trouble
You make it all worthwhile
What would I do if I didn't have you?
Oh, I love to see you smile
Hmm, I love to see you smile
I mean that sincerely, Homer
I just can't help myself, I just can't help myself
I just can't help myself, I just can't help myself
I just can't help myself
There I go, here I go, where I go, I don't know
I just can't help myself, so
Why do I do, what I do, when I do
Well, I can say so or I just don't know
Boys will be boys and what they usually say
That's the how and the why, that I act this way
That's the end of the line, I run out of rhyme
That ain't no crime so it's milk it out time
Let's see, I know it's some cosmic force
Causing my mind, you go,
Just wait out of course to another dimension
Not only of site and sound but of being a clown
Or an alley cat, or a dirty rat or a loud mouth brat
Well, I am all that, so if you ask me, why
I'm always in such a mess
Well, ha, I just can't help myself
Can't help me, I just can't help myself
Can't help me, I just can't help myself
Can't help me, I just can't help myself
Can't help me, I just can't help myself
I just can't help myself, I just can't help myself
A very great lady, once said it right
A woman needs a man, like a fish needs a bike
There I go again sister know it all
No friends at all, 'cause I make them crawl
I can help showing off, all that I know
The whats can do, well is the wheres I could go
I know, it's makes the family very uptight
I know, it isn't right, but I do it every night
I'm probably don't belong here, I'm certainly were wrong here
Every night I have a dream, more like a nightmare
I see myself being born, Mum and dad are there
But it's not Marge and it's not Homer
Switched in a cradle, no wonder I'm a goner
I feel like a book, that's on the wrong shelve
I know, I shouldn't think it, but
I just can't help myself
Can't help me, I just can't help myself
Can't help me, I just can't help myself
Can't help me, I just can't help myself
Can't help me, I just can't help myself
Just can't help myself, I just can't help myself
I just can't help myself, I just can't help myself
I just can't help myself, I just can't help myself
I just can't help myself, I just can't help myself
Hey, you know, I kinda like this thing
It's sort of like music, but you don't have to sing
You got none of the work and all of the fun
Like a low cal donut or a fat free bun
By the way, that's reminds me, how about a snack
Just a small sandwich or a cold six-pack
A big pack of pork rinds that couldn't hurt
A cake for dessert will keep my mind alert
Oh, it takes a lot of energy to do this rap
I feel kinda sleepy, better take a nap
Not too long a nap, two hours, that's a winner
I wouldn't wanna sleep to a roast beef dinner
Roast beef with gravy and potatoes
Hot rolls and butter, lettuce and tomatoes
I know, I shouldn't eat it, I got to keep my health
What's the hey, I can't help me
Can't help me, I just can't help myself
Can't help me, I just can't help myself
Can't help me, I just can't help myself
Can't help me, I just can't help myself
Just can't help myself, I just can't help myself
I just can't help myself, I just can't help myself
I just can't help myself, I just can't help myself
[Intro]
Everbody in the USA hates a stupid neighbour,
he's Flanders and he's really really lame.
Flanders try's to wreck my song he's brain
crontrols my religon I hate him and Flanders
is his Name.
(everybody)
Goody two shoes and divieous,
He's the man that I hate best.
I'd like to see his house go up in flames.
(everyone cheers)
F-L-A-N-D-E-R-S
His name is Ned
N-E-D
its a stupid name.
He's Worse than frankinstein or DR.No.
You can't upset him even slightly,
he just smiles and nods politely.
And goes home and worships nightly
His left torium is an imporium!
WHOA!!!!!!!
F-L-A-N(Don't tell his name)D-E-R-S(His life is sad)
Some men hunt for sport
Others hunt for food
But the only thing I'm hunting for
Is an outfit that looks good
See my vest!
See my vest!
Made from real gorilla chest
See this sweater,
There's no better
Than authentic Irish setter
See this hat, 'twas my cat
My evening wear, vampire bat
These white slippers are albino African endangered rhino
Grizzly bear underwear
Turtlesnecks, I've got my share
Beret of poodle on my noodle
It shall rest
Try my red robin suit
It comes one breast or two
See my vest!
See my vest!
See my vest!
Like my loafers?
Former goafers
It was that, or skin my chauffeurs
But a greyhound fur tuxedo would be best
So lets prepare these dogs
Kill two for matching clogs
See my vest!
See my vest!
[Homer]
Around the house, I never lift a finger
As a husband and father, I'm sub-par
I'd rather drink a beer than win father of the year
I'm happy with things the way they are
[Lisa] I'm getting used to never getting noticed
[Bart] I'm stuck here until I can steal a car
[Marge]
The house is still a mess
And I'm going bald from stress!
[Homer, Bart & Lisa] But we're happy just the way we are!
[Flanders] They're not perfect, but the Lord says love thy neighbour
[Homer] - Shut up, Flanders
[Flanders] Okely-dokely-doo
[Shary]
Don't think it's sour grapes
But you're all a bunch of apes
(Jockeys) Freaks, freaks, freaks!
We are the jockeys, jockeys are we
We live underground in a fiberglass tree
(Jockey #1) Ha!
(Jockey #2) Ooo!
(Jockey #3) Haha! 'Tween Earth and Hell, we reign supreme
(Jockey #4) On toadstool thrones by a chocolate stream
(Jockey #5) But all is not well in Jockey Town
(Jockey #6) Your renegade horse is making us frown
(Homer) What do you want me to do?
(Jockey #7) Your horse must lose
(Homer) My horse must lose?
(Jockey #7) No win!
(Jockey #8) No show!
(Jockey #3) No place!
(Jockey #4) Just lose the stinkin' race
(Homer) And what if I refuse to lose?
(Jockey #8) We'll eat your brain
Well hello there
My it's been a long, long time
How am I doin'?
I guess that I'm doin' fine
It's been so long now and it seems
Now it was only yesterday
Ain't it funny how time slips away
How's your new love
I hope that he's doin' fine
I heard you told him that
You'd love him till the end of time
Now that's the same thing that you told me
Seems like just the other day
Ain't it funny how time slips away
I gotta go now
I guess I'll see you around
Don't know when though
Never know when I'll be back in town
But remember what I tell
In time you're gonna pay
It's surprising how time slips away
I could please Miss Barbra Streisand
by spitting on the flag
Or strangling a bald eagle
on the cover of some mag
But I love this country
to me she has no sins
If you don't buy my record
Homer: i love to walk down the aventue, bust some moves with disco stu,
Disco Stu: you shake me from my booty to my fro!
Homer: oh i could walk down the boulevard, burning off my excess lard,
(to Patty & Selma) Top of the morning ladies!
Patty & Selma: bite us
Homer: i rarely feel the need to utter d'oh!
oh i could walk, from Springfiend to Alaska, then hobnob with the stars in Malibu
Steve Bucami: hi Homer, im actor Steve Bucami
Homer: the guy who got fed into the woodchipper in Fargo?
(Steve Bucami nods)
Homer: and when i hear?
Turkish men: you can't walk to turkmeinistan,
Homer: i say of course i can, screw you!
(Turkish men hold sabers up to Homer & Steve's necks)
Steve: would you guys like ticket to the peoples' choice awards?
Turkish men: would we!
(Homer, Steve and Turkish men dance around in circle motions before Homer appears back in Springfield, followed by a 'V' shape of fellow Springfieldites)
Homer: oh yes i love to perambulate,
its standing still i really hate,
so please let me re-iterate
i love to
(Marge runs over Homer in her car)
(Spoken)
(Hello baby, it's Apu to whom you are speaking
What's that baby?
You are proposing we have a cookout at the beach then get a page
from the kamasutra til the sun rises over the distant sea.
Sorry, baby that's impossible.
I own a convinience store, and baby you know what's that like.)
Got to sell the roadmaps,
Got to move that twelve packs,
I'm printing out the tickets for the lottery.
Move out all that trail mix,
Make room for the beef sticks,
Informing all the punks: this is no library, hey!
Yes, we have some string cheese,
I'll have to check those IDs,
We running out of half and half andsweet and low. Oh!
Would you like some jerky?
It comes in beef or turkey.
You see what I am up to baby, I can't go.
I'm working twenty-four hours a day.
That don't leave no time left to play.
We're open twenty-four hours a day.
That don't leave no time left to play.
(No, no, no.)
(Hey, if I deserted my post,
Who will be refilling the jalepeno peppers?
You? I don't think so.)
I make coffee for the rifraf,
Regular and decaff,
Eight ounce, twelve ounce, twenty ounce.
One for the road, sir?
Heatlamp dogs and Cheetos,
Microwave burritos,
Obey the printed warning or it's sure to explode.
I set out front the magazines,
In which the subject matter's clean,
Behind the counter, they are dirty variety.
It won't help to make a fuss,
I do not make change for the bus,
To use the restroom you must be an employee!
I'm working twenty-four hours a day.
That don't leave no time left to play.
We're open twenty-four hours a day.
That don't leave no timeleft to play.
(No, no, no.)
Twenty-four hours a day.
That don't leave no time left to play.
(No it dont.)
Twenty-four hours a day.
That don't leave no time left to play.
(No, no, no. Yes, yes, yes)
I came to this country from a far away subcontinent,
With dreams to make a fortune to in the movie industry.
But instead I'm making Squishies,
In a checker dressed,
Oh how I wish the camera on the ceiling,
Wasn't just there for security.
(Oh, oh, oh.
Alright, I feel much better now.
I was a little sad there, but I'm very happy again.
Oh. Oh, this is good.
Yes I like this, This is my favorit part of the song.
Yes, my great-grand-pa Rami used to dance to this.
He used to work it on out.
This is very funky part now.)
I'm working twenty-four hours a day.
That don't leave no time left to play.
We're open twenty-four hours a day.
That don't leave no time left to play.
(No, no, no, no, no, no.)
Twenty-four hours a day.
(Hello steady customer OK, lets see.
That's one package of potency vitamins,
Three tins of smokeless tabaco,
And one box of honey glazed popcorn clusters.
That will be ... nothing because you're carring a gun.
Oh, here we go again.
Please sir, may I ask if you tie me up,
You use the nylon robe.
It feels so much softer against my skin than the other time.
Yes, you'll find it in the back,
Between the video games and the non-dairy creamer.
Please, sir. Oh, thank you very much.
Ullman shorts,
Christmas show,
Marge's fling,
Homer's bro,
Bart in well,
Flanders fails,
Whacking snakes,
Monorail,
Mr Plow,
Homer space,
Sideshow Bob steps on rakes,
Lisa's future,
Selma's hubby,
Marge not proud,
Homer chubby,
Homer worries Bart is gay,
Poochie, U2, NRA,
Hippies, Vagas and Japan,
Octuplets,
And Bart's boy band,
Marge murmers,
Maude croaks,
Lisa Buddihst,
Homer tokes,
Maggie blows Burns away,
What else do I have to say?
They'll never stop The Simpsons,
Have no fears, we've got stories for years,
Like - Marge becomes a robot,
Maybe Moe gets a cell-phone,
Has Bart ever owned a bear,
Or, how 'bout a crazy wedding?
and something happens a do-do-do-do-doooo,
Sorry for the clip-show,
Hi, everybody, I'm Krusty, the Klown, Hoohoohahahaha,
And I'd like to welcome the parents and all the closest living relative
To Kamp Krusty,
On "parents and all the closest living relatives"-day
We're gonna begin by singing the Kamp-Krusty-Song
And then later, as a treat, some of the specially selected campers
(ones who could sing), will sing it in their own special way
Take it away maestro!
Hail to thee Kamp Krusty
By the shores of Big Snake Lake.
Though your swings are rusty,
We know they'll never break.
From your gleaming mess hall,
To your hallowed baseball field,
And your spick and span infirmary,
Where all our wounds are healed.
Hail to thee, Kamp Krusty,
Below Mount Avalanche.
We will always love Kamp Krusty.
Lets rock this party, come on Otto Man
Hail to thee Kamp Krusty,
I'm the transportation dude
I got the gig when they saw my sign.
It said: "I will work for food."
So, hail
Yeah hail, alright hail, take 'em away 'lil Lisa.
Hail to thee Kamp Krusty,
With your frequent moose attacks
There are skunks, in half the bunks
But at least I've got my sax.
And I like to play.
OK, Martin, dazzle 'em.
A pox on thee Kamp Krusty,
I came here to lose weight,
A fate most cruel, they fed me gruel
And stuff that looks like bait
Oh, and pox of thee Clown Krusty,
Your behavior gives us pause.
Your heart is hard, you have no regard
For the state's child labour laws.
A pox on thee Kamp Krusty.
We are uning to be free
We will never return to Kruhusteehee
Ah, put a lid on it, Martin, lets rock this camp.
I hate it!
Kamp Krusty!
Can stand it!
Kamp Krusty!
Lets burn it
Kamp Krusty!
Lets fry it
Kamp Krusty!
Don't try it
Kamp Krusty!
Electrocute it
Kamp Krusty!
Lets do it!
Kamp Krusty!
Annihilate it!
Kamp Krusty!
Regurgigate it!
Kamp Krusty!
Refute it!
Kamp Krusty!
Then boot it!
Kamp Krusty!
I hate it!
Kamp Krusty!
Can't stand it
Kamp Krusty!
Disband it!
Kamp Krusty!
nur in der Originalversion:
Krusty: Wait, wait! We forgot something.
(Homer): You took a twenty-karat diamond
And made it gleam
Like a big spaghetti dinner
Smothered in whipped cream!
(Comic Book Guy): You're like X-Men number three
In a mylar bag
(Snake): You're a brand new muscle car
And all the wheels are mag
(Grandpa) You make me feel as young
As the blood I get from sheep
(Cpt. McCallister) You're like Jaquiline Bisset
In me favorite film The Deep
(Moe) You're sexy and exotic
Like a hooker from Belize
(Dr. Hibbert) Or a patient with insurance
Who's crawling with disease
(All) You're a sundae underneath two great big cherries!
(Marge) Keep in mind they're only tempora-a-ries!
(All) Still we'd like to say that we are very very
Glad to see you
(Mayor Quimby) And I decree you
The hottest thing to hit this city since the fire that killed eleven
(All) {gasp}
(Mayor Quimby) Dangerous criminals!
(All) Hooray!
[Jockeys] Freaks, freaks, freaks!
We are the jockeys, jockeys are we
We live underground in a fiberglass tree
[Jockey #1] Ha!
[Jockey #2] Ooo!
[Jockey #3] Haha! 'Tween Earth and Hell, we reign supreme
[Jockey #4] On toadstool thrones by a chocolate stream
[Jockey #5] But all is not well in Jockey Town
[Jockey #6] Your renegade horse is making us frown
[Homer] What do you want me to do?
[Jockey #7] Your horse must lose
[Homer] My horse must lose?
[Jockey #7] No win!
[Jockey #8] No show!
[Jockey #3] No place!
[Jockey #4] Just lose the stinkin' race
[Homer] And what if I refuse to lose?
[Jockey #8] We'll eat your brain
Homer: You could close down Moe's or the Kuik-e-Mart and nobody would care
But the heart and soul of springfield's in our Maison Derriere
Belle: Were the sauce on you steak
Were the cheese in your cake
we put the Spring in Springfield
Dancers: were the lace on the nightgown
were the point after touchdown
Yes we put the Spring in Springfield
Belle: Were that little extra spice that makes egzistance extra nice
a biddly little thrill at a reasonable price
Reverand Lovejoy: Our only major quorrals are with your total lack of morals
Dancers: Our skimpie costumes aint so bad
they seem to entertain your dad
Belle:The gin in your martini, the clams on your linguine
Yes, we keep the spring in Springfield
Wiggum, Krusty & Skinner: We remember our first visit
Mayor Quimby: The service was exquisite!
Mrs Quimby: Why, Joseph, I had no idea!
Mayor Quimby: Come on now, you were working here!
[Grampa & Jasper]
Without it, we'd have had no fun
Since the March of 1961!
Bart: To shut it down now would be twisted
Jimbo, Dolph & Kearney: We just heard this place existed
Dancers: We're the highlights in your hairdo
Apu: The extra arms on Bishnu!
Dancers: So, don't take the Spring
Men: We won't take the Spring
Yo, hey what's happening dude?
I'm a guy with a rep for bein' rude
Terrorizin' people wherever I go
It's not intentional, just keepin' the flow
Fixin' test scores to get the best scores
Droppin' banana peels all over the floor
I'm the kid that made delinquency an art
Last name, Simpson, first name, Bart
I'm here today to introduce the next phase
The next step in the big Bart craze
I got a dance, real easy to do
I learned it with no rhythm and so can you
So, move your body, if you got the notion
Front to back in a rock-like motion
Now that you got it, if you think you can
Do it to the music, that's the Bartman
Everybody, if you can, do the Bartman
Shake you body, turn it out, if you can, man
Move you butt to the side, yes, you can, can
Everybody in the house, do the Bartman
Everybody, if you can, do the Bartman
Shake you body, turn it out, if you can, man
Move you butt to the side, yes, you can, can
Everybody in the house, do the Bartman
It wasn't long ago, just a couple of weeks
I got in trouble, yeah, pretty deep
Homer was yellin', mom was, too
Because I put mothballs in the beef stew
Punishment time, in the air lurks gloom
Sittin' by myself, confined to my room
When all else fails, nothin' else left to do
I turn on the music, so I can feel the groove
Move your body, if you got the notion
Front to back in a rock-like motion
Move your hips from side to side now
Don't ya slip, let your feet glide now
If you've got the groove, you gotta use it
Rock rhythm in time with the music
You just might start a chain reaction
If you can do the Bart, you're bad like Michael Jackson
Everybody, if you can, do the Bartman
Shake you body, turn it out, if you can, man
Move your butt to the side as you can, can
Everybody in the house, do the Bartman, do the Bartman
Do the Bartman, everybody, back and forth, from side to side
Do the Bartman, do the Bartman
Now, here's a dance beat that you can't deny
Turn it down will you stop that infernal racket?
Do the Bartman
Oh my ears, Lisa, put that saxophone away
You can't touch this, I didn't do it, nobody saw me do it
You can't prove anything
Now, I'm in the house feelin' good to be home
'Til Lisa starts blowin' her damn saxophone
And if it was mine, you know they'd take it away
But still I'm feelin' good, so that's okay
I'm up in my room, just a-singin' a song
Listenin' to the kicks while I'm kickin' along
Yeah, Lisa likes jazz, she's her number one fan
But I know I'm bad, 'cause I do the Bartman
Everybody, if you can do the Bartman
Shake your body, turn it out if you can, man
Move your butt to the side, as you can, can
Everybody in the house, do the Bartman, do the Bartman
Do the Bartman
Everybody, back and forth from side to side
Do the Bartman, do the Bartman
She can do it, he can do it, so can I
If you've got the groove, you gotta use it
Rock rhythm in time with the music
You just might start a chain reaction
I'm a Bartman, everybody, if you can, do the Bartman
Shake your body, turn it out, if you can, man
Move your butt to the side, as you can, can
Everybody in the house do the Bartman
Move you body, if you got the notion
Skake your body to the rock like motion
Move your hips from side to side now
Don't ya slip, let your feet glide now
If you've got your groove, you gotta use it
Rock rhythm in time with the music
Eat your heart out, Michael
You just might start a chain reaction
Them thats got shall get
Them thats not shall lose
So the Bible said and it still is news
Mama may have, papa may have
But God bless the child thats got his own
Thats got his own
Yes, the strong gets more
While the weak ones fade
Empty pockets dont ever make the grade
Mama may have, papa may have
But God bless the child thats got his own
Thats got his own
When You've got Money,
you've got lots of friends
Crowding round the door
When youre gone, spending ends
They dont come no more
Rich relations give
Crust of bread and such
You can help yourself
But dont take too much
Mama may have, papa may have
But God bless the child thats got his own
Thats got his own
Mama may have, papa may have
But God bless the child thats got his own
Thats got his own
He just worry bout nothin
Smithers, turn on the surveillance cameras
Yes sir, it's worse than I thought
Each morning at nine, they trickle through the gates
They go home early, they come in late
Reeking of cheap liquor they stumble through the day
Never give a thought to honest work for honest pay
I know it shouldn't vex me, I shouldn't take it hard
I know I should ignore their capering with a kingly disregard, but
Look at all those idiots
Ooh, look at all those boobs
An office full of morons, a factory full of fools
Is it any wonder that I'm singing, singing the blues
They make personal phone calls
On company time
They Xerox their buttocks
And guess who pays the dime
Their blatant thievery wounds me
Their ingratitude astounds
I long to lure them to my home
And then release the hounds
I shouldn't grow unsettled
When faced with such abuse
I shouldn't let it plague me
I shouldn't blow a fuse
But, look at all those idiots
Ooh, look at all those boobs
An office full of morons, a factory full of fools
Is it any wonder that I'm singing, singing the blues
What happened? Where are the instruments?
I believe they call this a breakdown, sir
I can't have any breakdowns here
What if there was an inspector around?
Play a guitar solo
Oh, I'm a little out of practice, sir
I said do it, so do it, do it, do it
Yes sir
Yes, excellent
Well done
All right, it's beginning to grate
That'll be sufficient, Smithers
Excuse me?
I said that's enough
Oh, sorry sir
Thought I had my mojo working
That man by the cooler
Drinking water, as if it's free
Oh, that's Homer Simpson, sir
A drone from sector 7-G
Yes, well, call this Simpson to my office
And stay to watch the fun
If he's 6 feet when he enters
He'll be two feet when I'm done
It brings a ray of sunshine
To my unhappy life
To make him kneel before me
And slowly twist the knife
Look at all those idiots
Ohh, look at all those boobs
An office full of morons, a factory full of fools
Is it any wonder, that I'm singing, singing the blues
Take me home, sir
I'm trying
Surrounded by idiots
Outnumbered by boobs
An office full of morons, a planet full of fools
Is it any wonder, I'm singing
Maybe you should be singing, sir, oh, singing the blues
(Look at all those idiots)
Mr. Burns, you, you make Muddy Waters sound shallow and
(An office full of morons)
Cheerful, by comparison
Thank you, Smithers
Meaningless but
(Is it any wonder)
Heartfelt compliment
I feel like I got a few things off my chest
And onto the chests of my inferiors
You do
(Look at all those idiots)
Why are they still playing?
(Office full of morons)
They're not still on salary, are they?
Remember the stars, you loved yesterday?
Where did they go? Did they all pass away?
Was it drugs or a car crush,
or a face lift gone wrong?
No they're right here in Branson
and they're singing, this song!
My name is Charo, I shake my maracas.
Remember me foo, I was BA Barachas.
We're the performers you thought were dead,
like Bonnie Franklin and Adrienne Zmed.
Branson's the place we can always be found.
They took NICK at Night and made it a town.
You can call me Ray or you can call me Jay.
Just don't call me washed up, I do three shows a day.
Charlie Callas doesn't sleep in the ground.
Yes I'm still alive an I'm making me sound.
vup hi vup hala voop voop.
So sit back, relax, and watch our review!
Some say, this is great!
Now there was a time when we used to say
That behind every great man
There had to be a great woman
Well, times change
You know it's no longer true
We're coming out of the kitchen
'Cause there's something we forgot to say to you
Sisters are doing it for themselves, oh yeah
Standing on their own two feet
Ringing on their own bells
Sisters are doing it for themselves
Now this is a song to celebrate
The conscious liberation of the female state
Mother and her daughters and all their daughters too
Woman to woman we'll sing it all with you
Sisters are doing it for themselves
Standing on their own two feet
Ringing on their own bells
Sisters are doing it for themselves
No, we ain't makin' stories
No, we ain't layin' plans
A man still loves a woman
And a woman still loves a man, yeah
It's incredible female power
Sisters are doing it for themselves
The inferior sex has got a new exterior
We've got doctors and lawyers and politicians too
And everybody can take a look around
Can you see, can you see, can you see?
There's a woman sitting right next to you
Sisters are doing it for themselves
Standing on their own two feet
And ringing on their own bells
Everybody else do what I'm saying
Sisters are doing it for themselves
They're standing on their own two feet
And ringing on their own bells
Sisters are doing it, doing it
Doing it, doing it, doing it
Sisters are doing it for themselves
Sisters are doing it for themselves
Long before the Superdome
Where the Saints of football play...
Lived a city that the damned call home
Hear their hellish rondelet...
New Orleans!
Home of pirates, drunks and whores
New Orleans!
Tacky overpriced souvenir stores
If you want to go to hell, you should take a trip
To the Sodom and Gomorrah of the Mississip'
New Orleans!
Stinking, Rotten, vomiting, vile
New Orleans
Putrid, brackish, maggotty, foul
New Orleans!
Crummy, lousy, rancid, and rank
Lisa] If you wish to be our sitter
Please be sweet, and never bitter
Help us with maths and book reports
[Bart] Might I add, eat my shorts
[Lisa] Bart!
[Bart] Just cuttin' through the treacle
[Lisa] If Maggie's fussy, don't avoid her
[Bart] Let me get away with moider
[Lisa] Teach us songs and magic tricks
[Homer] Might I add, no fat chicks!
[Marge] Homer!
[Lisa] The nanny we want is kindly and sage
[Homer] And one who will work for minimum wage
[Lisa] Hurry, nanny, things are grim -
[Grampa] - I'll do it!
A)Not Jazz Chor, But Sad Chor
Krusty the Clown: Well, Itchy and Scratchy are gone,
but here's a cartoon that tries to make learning fun!
Heh, heh, heh, huh, oohhh...
Sorry about this kids... But stay tuned,
We've got some real good toy commercials comming up,
I swear!
(B) The Amendment Song
Kid: Hey, who left all this garbage on the steps of congress!
Amendment: I'm not Garbage!!
(Starts Singing)
I'm an amendment to be,
Yes an amendment to be,
And I'm hoping that they,ll ratify me!
There's a lot of flag burners who have got too much freedom,
I want to make it legal for policemen to beat 'em,
'Cause there's limits to our liberties
'Least I hope and pray that there are,
'Cause those liberal freaks go to far.
(stop's singing)
kid: But why can't we just make a law against flag-burning
Amendment: Because that would be unconstitutional.
Bt if we change the constitution...
Kid:...We could make all sorts of crazy laws!!
Amendment: Now your catching on!
(song fades away)
Bart: What the hell is this?
Lisa: It's one of those crappy 70's throwbacks
that appeals to generation Xer's
Bart: We need another Vietnam,
thin out their ranks a little.
(song returns But still talking)
Kid: But what if they say
your not good enough to be in the constitution?
(sing again)
Amendment: Then I'll crush all opposition to me,
And I'll make Ted Kennedy pay,
If he fights back,
I'll say that he's gay!!
Congressman: Good News,amendment! They ratified ya!
You're in the constitution!!
Oh Yeah! Doors open, boys!
(wild, hollering bills storm the capitol)
Lisa: So, it's true some crtoons do encourage violence!
(she punches Bart)
Well, Mr Burns had done it
The power plant had won it
With Roger Clemens clucking all the while
Mike Scioscia's tragic illness made us smile
While Wade Boggs laid unconscious on the bar-room tile
We're talkin' softball
From Maine to San Diego
Talkin' softball
Mattingly and Canseco
Ken Griffey's grotesquely swollen jaw
Steve Sax and his run-in with the law
We're talking Homer...
Ozzie and the Straw
We're talkin' softball
From Maine to San Diego
Talkin' softball
Mattingly and Canseco
Ken Griffey's grotesquely swollen jaw
Steve Sax and his run-in with the law
We're talking Homer...
Who controls the British crown?
Who keeps the metric system down?
We do, we do
Who keeps Atlantis off the maps?
Who keeps the Martians under wraps?
We do, we do
Who holds back the elctric car?
Who makes Steve Gutenberg a star?
We do, we do
Who robs gamefish of their site?
Who rigs every Oscar night?
Spoken:
Help The Human's about to escape.
Get your paws off me you dirty ape.
Gasps...
he can talk, he can talk, he can talk, he can talk,
he can talk, he can talk, he can talk.
Singing:
I CAN SING!
Ooooh help me Dr. Zeius
Chorus
Dr. Zeius, Dr. Zeius
Dr. Zeius, Dr. Zeius
Dr. Zeius, Dr. Zeius
Ooooooh Dr. Zeius
Dr. Zeius, Dr. Zeius
What is wtong with me?
I think your crazy.
I want a second opinion.
Your also lazy.
(Chorus)
Can i play the piano anymore?
ofcourse you can
well i couldn't before
Sirens: On the Island,
Island of Sirens.
Our hot sex will leave you perspirin'.
The feta is cheesy,
The sirens are easy!
On the Island,
We'll sex you up.
Back Hail, hail, Rock and Roll.
& Long live Rock and Roll.
Bart: Rock, Rock, Rock and Roll.
Hail, hail, Rock and Roll.
Buster: Up in the morning and out to school,
The teacher is teaching the Golden Rule.
American history, practical math,
You're studying hard, you're hoping to pass.
Working your fingers right down to the bone,
The guy behind you won't leave you alone.
Bart: Ring, ring goes the bell,
The truck in the lunchroom is ready to sell.
You're lucky if you can find a seat;
You're fortunate if you have time to eat.
Back in the classroom, open your books, (man),
The teacher don't know how mean she looks.
Buster: Soon as three o'clock rolls around,
Bart: I'm outta here, man, I'm going to town.
Buster: You finally lay your burden down.
Bart: I'm nobody's fool, I'm nobody's clown.
Buster: Close up your books, get out of your seat,
Bart: This is a plan that can't be beat.
Buster: Down the hall and into the street.
Bart: My dancing shoes are on my feet.
Buster: Up to the corner, round the bend,
Bart: If you can't handle this, just tell me when!
Buster: Right to the juke joint, you go in.
Bart: I'm here! I said, "It's me, Bartman."
Bart Drop the coin right into the slot,
& You've gotta hear something that's really hot.
Buster: Don't want your love, your makin' romance,
All day long you've been wanting to dance. (Whoa yeah.)
I'm feeling the music from head to toe,
Round and round and round you go.
(Sax solo)
(Guitar solo)
Bart Hail, hail, Rock and Roll,
& Deliver me from the days of old.
Buster: Long live Rock and Roll,
The beat of the drum's loud and bold.
Rock, Rock, Rock and Roll,
The feeling is there, body and soul.
Hail, hail, Rock and Roll.
(Hail, hail, Rock and Roll.)
Hail, hail, Rock and Roll.
(Hail, hail, Rock and Roll.)
Long live Rock and Roll,
(Long live Rock and Roll.)
Rock, Rock, Rock and Roll.
(Rock, Rock, Rock and Roll.)
Rock, Rock, Rock and Roll.
(Rock, Rock, Rock and Roll.)
Hail, hail, Rock and Roll.
(Hail, hail, Rock and Roll.)
(Whoa, mama!)
[Apu] Whether igloo, hut or lean-to
Or a geodesic dome
There's no structure I have been to
Which I'd rather call my home...
When I first arrived, you were all such jerks
But now I've come to love your quirks
Maggie with her eyes so bright
Marge with hair by Frank Lloyd Wright
Lisa can philosophize
Bart's adept at spinning lies
Homer's a delightful fella
Sorry 'bout the salmonella
[Homer] Hehe, that's okay
[Apu] Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart?
Now here's the tricky part
Oh, won't you rhyme with me?
Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart?
[Marge] Their floors are sticky-mart!
[Lisa] They made Dad sicky-mart!
[Bart] Let's hurl a bricky-mart!
[Homer] That Kwik-E-Mart is real - d'oh!
[Apu] Who needs the Kwik-E-mart?
Not me!
Forget the Kwik-E-mart
Goodbye to Kwik-E-mart
Who needs the Kwik-E-mart?
Anyone Else
by John Boylan/ Lisa Angelle
Hey, what do you hiding under that funny hair,
I know the light are on, but there's nobody there,
I need a new life, I need a new next of kin,
so I've got news for you, brother: I'm trading tou in.
For anyone else, in the world, I'd rather have than you
anyone else in the whole, wide world would do,
somebody who'd be a friend in need,
somebody who would care about me.
anyone else in the whole, wide world would do.
Hey, little miss perfect, who made you the queen?
who said it was cool to be so squeaky clean, oh man!
I need a playmate, someone who knows, how do I have some fun.
so I've got news for you: sister your time has come, your time is come
Anyone else, in the world, I'd rather have than you,
anyone else in the hole, wide world would do,
somebody who's got a radical mind
over the edge and way out of line
anyone else in the hole wide world would do.
I'm gonna trade you in
yeah, I'm gonna trade you in
you know you to much to take, your completely deranged
I'd sell you a dime and get nine cents change
I wouldn't take any money, that's a loosing bet,
I trade you in, for anyone I could get,
anything I could get,
anytime I could get it.
anywhere I could get it.
anyone else, in the world, I'd rather have than you
for anyone else, in the whole, wide world would do,
somebody who's be a friend in need,
somebody who would care about me
anyone else in the whole, wide world,
anyone else, in the world, I'd rather have than you.
anyone else in the whole, wide world, would do.
somebody who'd be a friend in need,
somebody who would care about me.
anyone else in the whole, wide world,
When the weight of the world has got you down
and you want to end your life.
Bills to pay, a dead-end job,
and problems with the wife.
But don't throw in the tow'l,
''cause there's a place right down the block...
Where you can drink your misery away...
At Flaming Moe's....
When liquor in a mug
can warm you like a hug.
And happiness is just a Flaming Moe away...
[Homer]
Who can take your trash out
Stomp it down for you
Shake the plastic bag and do the twisty thingie do?
The Garbage Man!
[Garbage Men] Yes the Garbage Man Can!
[Homer & Garbage Men]
The Garbage Man can
And he does it with a smile
And never judges you
[Marge] Who can take this diaper?
[Garbage Man] I don't mind at all!
[Chief Wiggum] Who can clean me up before the big policeman's ball?
The Garbage Man!
[Garbage Men] Yes the Garbage Man can
[U2]
The sanitation folks
Are jolly friendly blokes
Courteous and easygoing
[The Edge] They'll mop up when you're o-
[U2 & Garbage Men] -ver flowin'!
[Bono] And tell you when your arse is showing!
[Apu] Who can?
[Sideshow Mel] Who can?
[Ned Flanders] Who can?
[Oscar the Grouch] Who can?
[All] The Garbage Man can!
[Bart & Lisa] Coz he's Homer Simpson, man!
Oh, Say Can You Rock?
There trouble in a far off nation,
Time to get in love formation,
Your love is more deadly than Sadam,
That's Why I gotta drop da bomb!
Yvan Eht Nioj,
Yvan Eht Nioj,
Yvan Eht Nioj,
Yvan Eht Nioj,
THE PARTY POSSE!
This Party is happenin',
It's not mirage,
So sing it again,
Yvan Eht Nioj!
Yvan Eht Nioj,
Lady, when you came to me
I was feeling blue
Blue just like your hair you see
Blue just like the moon.
But only when the moon is blue not when it is green now that you are with me I am in a dream.
Oh yeah Marge your dreams can come true
Lady when you go away I feel like I could die
not like die like your hair is dyed
but die like Lady Di
and not like Di like her name is Di
but Die like when she died
but lady just like lady di, you're my princess tonight but don't die.
Spread yellow gunk on my pancake heart.
A beautiful girl in my grocery cart.
I paid for her dreams, she taught me to cry.
I had watery nights, it rained from my eyes.
I can't believe you're not mine.. I can't believe you're not mine..
Margerine..
Margerine..
Margerine..
Margerine!
Once upon a time there was a tavern
Where we used to raise a glass or two
Remember how we laughed away the hours
And dreamed of all the great things we would do
Those were the days my friend
We'd thought they'd never end
We'd sing and dance
Forever and a day
We'd live the life we'd choose
We'd fight and never lose
Fore we were young
And sure to have our way
La La La La La La La La La La La La
La La La La La La La La La La
La La La La La La La La La La La La
Those were the days, my friend those were the days
Then the busy years went rushing by us
We lost our stary notions along the way
If by chance I'd see you in the tavern
We'd smile at one another and we'd say
Those were the days my friend
We'd thought they'd never end
We'd sing and dance
Forever and the day
We'd live the life we'd choose
We'd fight and never lose
Fore we were young
And sure to have our way
La La La La La La La La La La La La
La La La La La La La La La La
La La La La La La La La La La La La
Those were the days, my friend those were the days
Just tonight I stood before the tavern
Nothing seemed the way it used to be
In the glass I saw a strange reflection
Was that lonely person really me
Those were the days my friend
We'd thought they'd never end
We'd sing and dance
Forever and the day
We'd live the life we'd choose
We'd fight and never lose
Fore we were young
And sure to have our way
La La La La La La La La La La La La
La La La La La La La La La La
La La La La La La La La La La La La
Those were the days, my friend those were the days
Through the door there came familiar laughter
I saw your face I heard you call my name
Oh my friends were older but no wiser
Fore in our hearts the dreams are all the same
Those were the days my friend
We'd thought they'd never end
We'd sing and dance
Forever and the day
We'd live the life we'd choose
We'd fight and never lose
Fore we were young
And sure to have our way
Those were the days my friend
We'd thought they'd never end
We'd sing and dance
Forever and the day
We'd live the life we'd choose
We'd fight and never lose
Fore we were young
And sure to have our way
Those were the days my friend
We'd thought they'd never end
We'd sing and dance
Forever and the day
We'd live the life we'd choose
We'd fight and never lose
Those were the days
You make me laugh,you make me cry.
Without chu I just want to die.
For the rest of my life,you'll be a ficture,
Now let me enjoy your picture in picture
Homer:And your pretty great too
[Shary Bobbins]
If there's a task that must be done,
Don't turn your tail and run
Don't pout! Don't sob!
Just do a half-assed job!
If you cut every corner,
It's really not so bad.
Everybody does it,
Even Mum and Dad.
If nobody see it, then nobody gets mad!
[Bart] It's the American way!
[Shary Bobbins] The policeman on the beat needs some time to rest his feet.
[Chief Wiggum] Fighting crime is not my cup of tea!
[Shary Bobbins] And the clerk who runs the store can charge a little more for meat!
[Apu] For meat
[Shary Bobbins] And milk
[Apu] And milk!
[Shary Bobbins & Apu]
From nineteen-eighty-four!
[Shary Bobbins] If you cut every corner, you'll have more time for play!
I'm not that cool.
I don't wear jeans.
I've polished, an apple or two,
but every grade that I grubbed,
I grubbed it for you.
So call me bookworm,
but I'll never squirm when there's work to be done.
Yes I'll take my lunch at my desk,
while you're all outside having fun.
Don't vote for me kids of Springfield.
Unless you want an effective leader.
I'll talk to teachers.
I'll handle Skinner.
A vote for Lisa,
makes you a winner!
Homer: Bart!
Marge: Go to your room.
Bart: Yeah, right.
Well, you're damned if you do,
(What are we talking about?)
Well, you're damned if you do,
(Where's your sense of humour?)
Well, you're damned if you do,
And you're damned if you don't.
Homer: Bart!
Bart: Let me start at the start, then take it away.
My name is Simpson, Bartholemew J.
That's Bart, with an art, and a capital B,
Then Simp, plus S-O-N, that's me!
Introductions aside, let's move right along,
You can all sing along at the sound of the gong.
(Sound of the gong)
Once upon a time, about a week ago,
All of a sudden, trouble started to grow.
Alarm was buzzin', I was snoozin',
S'posed to get up now, but I was refusin'
To let reality become an intrusion,
'Cause in dreamy-dream land, I was cruisin'.
But the buzz kept buzzin', my head kept buzzin'.
Gave the radio a throw, and heard an explosion.
(Homer: D'oh!)
Opened up my eyes, and to my surprise,
There stood Homer, and his temperature risin'.
I was chillin', he was yellin',
Face all distorted, 'cause he was propellin'.
It wasn't what he said, but more of his tone,
The usual jive, put your nose to the grindstone.
I said "I'm real sorry" but that didn't cut it,
I started to protest, but Dad said
Homer: Shut it.
Get up. Mow the lawn. Move it. On the double.
'Cause if you don't, you're in deep, deep trouble.
Back: Trouble.
Deep, deep trouble.
Run into trouble.
Bart: Where's your sense of humour, man?
Back: Deep, deep trouble.
And they go a little something like this.
Bart: So I'm in the front yard, mowin' like crazy,
Sweatin' like a pig and the sun is blazing.
Homer's in the driveway, getting in the car,
With Mom and Lisa, hope they're going real far.
The dad yells
Homer: Bart
Bart: and I go Yo
He goes
Homer: You done yet?
Bart: and I go No.
So he goes
Homer: Oh! You're too slow.
Bart: So I step on the gas, to speed up the mow.
Didn't see that sprinkler underneath that tree,
Wham! Ccchhh! Pssshh! Raining on me!
I go Whoa, Homer goes
Homer: D'oh!
Now you can't go to the boatshow.
Bart: This is my thanks after working my butt off?
Homer revs the motor and they all start to putt off.
Soaked to the bone, standing in a puddle,
No-one needs to tell me I'm in deep, deep trouble.
Back: Trouble.
Marge: Go to your room.
Homer: Bart!
Bart: Yeah, right.
Marge: Bart, go to your room.
Back: Deep, deep trouble.
Marge: Go to your room.
Homer: Bart!
Bart: Oh, gimme a break.
Back: The young begins the trouble.
Bart: Well, you're damned if you do,
I know the answer. Well, you're damned if you do,
Back: Deep, deep trouble.
Bart: Well, you're damned if you do,
And you're damned if you don't.
As soon as they're gone, I'm stretched on the lawn,
Lookin' at the sky with my sunshades on.
Now I've never ever claimed that I was a smarty,
But inspiration hits me, lets have a party.
Called up my posse, they were here in a flash,
They brought all their pals, we started to thrash.
There was romping and stomping, an occasional crash,
A fist fight or two, and Nintendo for cash.
We raided the fridge, dogs raided the trash,
I got a little worried when the windows got smashed.
The next thing you know, Mom and Dad are home,
The kids disappear and I'm all alone.
Everything's silent except for my moan,
And the low, bluesy tone of a saxophone.
They look at me, then they go into a huddle.
Get this sinking sensation I'm in deep, deep trouble.
Back: Trouble.
Homer: D'oh.
Marge: Oh.
Homer: Bart!
Bart: Oh, gimme a break.
Back: Deep, deep trouble.
Homer: Hey. What is this?
Back: Don't keep trouble.
Marge: Go to your room.
Lisa: Oh yeah.
Marge: Bart, go to your room.
Back: Deep, deep trouble.
Marge: Go to your room.
Bart: Okey, dokey.
Homer: Bart!
Bart: There's a little epilogue to my tale of sadness.
I was dragged down the street by his Royal Dadness.
We rounded the corner and came to a stop,
Threw me inside Jake's Barber Shop.
I said, Please Sir, just a little off the top.
Dude shaved me bare, gave me a lollipop.
So on my head, there's nothing but stubble.
Man, I hate being in deep, deep trouble.
Back: Trouble.
Bart: Well, you're damned if you do,
Back: Trouble! Trouble!
Bart: Well, you're damned if you do,
Back: Deep, deep trouble.
Bart: Well, you're damned if you do,
and you're damned if you don't.
Back: Nothing but trouble.
Bart: Aw, come on, man.
Well, you're damned if you do,
(What are we talking about?) Well, you're damned if you do,
Back: Deep, deep trouble.
Bart: (Where's your sense of humour?)
Well, you're damned if you do, and you're damned if you don't.
Back: Trouble.
Deep, deep trouble.
Bart: Ha ha ha, ha ha.
Gonna paint our wagon
Gonna paint it good
We ain't braggin'
We're gonna coat that wood.
There Gonna paint that wagon
There Gonna paint it good
They aint Braggin'
there gonna coat that wood
Gonna paint your wagon
Gonna paint it fine
Baby on board, how I've adored
That sign on my car's window pane
The bounce in my step, loaded with pep
'Cause I'm driving in the carpool lane
Call me a square, friend i don't care
That little yellow sign can be ignored
Here's a little ditty
'bout Homer and Marge
Her heart was as big
as his stomach was large
oh yeah, they say
love goes on
long after the grilled
cheese sandwich is gone
During Credits:
Thats the story
bout Homer and Marge.
Two folks I helped out
For a nominal charge
After Homer went gay,
they patched up their schism
Buth the dude never dealt
with his alcoholism
Weird Al sayin: Oh Yeah, the credits go on,
Long after the viewer's interest is gone
Weird Al had fun
on this show
Even if it was
