Women on Men

I call bullsh*t

The Chat Factor gets women all the time, the others can help but you don’t really need them.  I don’t really earn a lot (I do OK though), I don’t think I’m anything particularly great in the looks department either and I’m certainly not famous but I have no problem talking to great looking women, this has in the past translated into a pretty good strike rate

Also the more beautiful the woman the more she likes to flirt and banter.  At least that’s been my experience.  And I find it’s an essential factor in keeping my interest.

Women like to be entertained and to feel special. This is why the gift of the gab can work. They’re usually pretty passive though and don’t offer much in return.

True. And this is because hot women are generally A. Dense as cobalt. B. Extremely unfunny. C. Deadly boring. D. Incredibly self-involved.

So yeah chat can work, but I’d much rather belittle, work on her insecurities and pump and dump.

Happy Cynic,
I think Charlie Harper is 100% correct.
I know a few blokes who nearly come across retarded with their extreme lack of conversational skills. They are however good looking and/or rich, which results in them having zero trouble picking up and keeping women interested in them.
Chat can help, but the others are at least as important.

The Chat Factor gets women all the time, the others can help but you don’t really need them.

Help? The others can help? How’s the Twilight Zone this time of year?

women, this has in the past translated into a pretty good strike rate

Two cougars in leopard-print leggings from HR in five years is not a pretty good strike rate.

Also the more beautiful the woman the more she likes to flirt and banter.

BS. The more beautiful a chick is, the more cold, cruel and ruthless she is with the men she doesn’t want, because she knows she can. You have to think offensively. If she’s tall, tell her, “Be careful someone spotted the BFG around here somewhere terrorising kids...(look up) oh.” If she’s short, go to rest your drink on her head and say, “Sorry I have a side table at home just your height.” Etc etc. Watch your confidence and ability with women soar.

SSR - you don’t like “hot” women, you don’t like fat women, and you don’t like ugly women. That leaves you with one extremely calloused hand.....

Movin On/mangyna, Incorrect. I don’t respect hot women. I do enjoy them though. Especially when they’re leaving. You don’t need to celebrate women to enjoy their best attributes, in fact it’s counterproductive. See Charlie Sheen’s latest acquittal. 

I pity and despise fat women. I mean how could you be a woman and fat? Superficiality is all you have to offer the world and you’re a pig? How does that work? How do you look out at the world, weigh-up (couldn’t help it) your lack of depth and achievement compared to men and still decide you can be fat? It just baffles me. It’s so selfish. Fat and proud women? Now there’s a paradox. Every chick wants to be model-thin. That’s why Marie Claire will always sell more issues with Kate Moss on the cover than some random fatties under the guise of “real women”.

I have to say that its very rare for a girl to have a great sense of humour to the point where they can keep men entertained with jokes and funny stories.

Sure its possible to have a deep conversation (with some women anyway), but actual real entertainment from a woman?

Charlie is right.

@SSR you don’t enjoy being single much do you?  Either that or you have the conversational skills of a pig with the attitude of an ass

And if you think my sex life has involved only “Two cougars in leopard-print leggings from HR in five years” then you clearly don’t know anything about me (thank G-d)

Once again I call bullsh*t

the conversational skills of a pig with the attitude of an ass

Wow! Snap! Don’t forget the humour of a sugar glider and the deportment of a Nepalese yak. I’m pushing for the strength of an anemic ant, but such things take time. 

Emoticons are for chicks. Just sayin’, you mantastic seducer you.

Back to your entry-level tech support nightmare oh lover of the old and infirm. I pray that one day the cataracts fall off and you see wonderful reality, the only real princess in this story.

except you keep giving away all your secrets IM - don’t you know that this will make some of us wary of guys who exhibit this behaviour lol???

Strangely though - your techniques are very, very clever and i can see how a lot of women would love the ‘listening and remembering’ combination you use.

Surely this doesn’t work on every woman. Does it? There has to be some exceptions?

ironmike,

If you have to listen to a woman talk for 50 minutes before you can bang her, you have not ‘perfected’ your technique.

He’s not interested either, Gigi.

Mike is absolutely right.  Get chicks to talk about themselves and they’ll tell you that you’re a great communicator.  All you have to do is listen and develop the conversation to where she can take it.

It’s amazing how many women will complain about a guy who talks about himself, yet when women are encouraged to talk about themselves they’ll do it until they are blue in the face.

I find the trick to finding the good women is to find one who will stop talking about themselves and make the effort to find out about the bloke on the other side of the table.

Gigi- Women always seem to think they’ll be different. You have no doubt seen normally sensible women go stupid as soon as they are the object of the guys attention.

Well, as Ironmike has correctly pointed out, it’s about engaging them and their opinion, making them feel that they are their thoughts are important.  Similar to his suggestions, questions in regards to their opinions on certain things are also good.  They allow them to feel important, whilst also making them think and preventing them from simple yes and no answers.  In other words, it engages them - and if you can engage them in the first instance, you’re well on your way…

And yeah, like Ironmike said again, take note - remembering even small bits and pieces a week later is like gold wrapped in platinum to them.

This, pretty much.

Claims that the gift of the gab is something you are born with is rubbish, as IM’s advice on getting a girl to talk about herself and remembering vital parts of the conversations is something that gets easier the more you do it.
I myself used to seriously struggle absorbing information through aural means but have worked hard in this regard, and have seriously improved in this area (professionally and personally)

The only thing missed out would be to ensure while working on this that they the girl is also aware you are interested in them as more than just a chat buddy (this should also alleviate your wariness Gigi!).
I’m sure this has never been a problem for you IM, but if not done correctly then a guy could be quickly roped in as the ‘guy friend’ a girl tries to dump all her issues on

Listening to women is Beta. Telling them to be quiet while you talk to a mate is Alpha.

Yep i agree with you Markus - you do have to be careful of the friend zone for sure… but improving listening skills can only make you a better worker, friend, lover etc - it’s good for all facets of life.

@ Smidge - yes i’ve seen the most intelligent of women become ‘stupid’ around men they think are interested in them - it’s annoying as hell.  Almost like half the personality and brain cells just disappear.

As for the 50 mintues of ‘banter’ to get women into bed - all depends on the woman - didn’t think there was a rule to such things.

@ SSR - is that the best you can come up with today - your normal aspersions and comments are lacking imagination.  I just find it funny that IM gives away all his trade secrets - but there is truth to his words.

o_O
There are exceptions to every technique.
It might not work on the following women, because I’ve never tried it out on them:
- Overweight chicks
- beauty challenged chicks
- married women
- women with boyfriends
It might work, but I’ve never been bothered with those types of chicks.

- married women
- women with boyfriends

These two examples link into last week’s topic of the booty call. In my experiences they were usually so frustrated in their current relationship that they will jump any semi-attractive guy who will bother to listen to them for any amount of time

I find this technique works on anyone – not just women. And I’m immediately suspicious of anyone who uses this technique on me because I know it’s only being used for one of two reasons: To pick up or to avoid talking about themselves..

I can’t say that i’ve ever had enough trouble getting sex to have to sit and listen to a chick talk about herself for an hour.

I’ve no doubt that Ironmike’s method works a treat but surely there are easier methods than having to put up with that torture?

No I think a few guys have picked up on this.  But I usually like to ask THEM questions to find out what they’re really like.  Yes having the gift of the gab will always work with either sex.  Although if you’re female being hot helps.  A lot. 

You’re full of it Iron Mike. While guys like you mess around and waste time inventing methods to trap women, guys like me take them before you can even blink, without even trying. I’m short in stature, not particularly good looking, not at all fit, and not all that wealthy, but you know what - I party hard, I’m arrogant, I talk almost exclusively about myself or things I am interested in, I dance like a one legged elephant (but I’m always the first one up there), I’m loud, I’m obnoxious, and I tend to piss guys off but I get the best girl at the party or club or whatever pretty much every single time.

You know why I piss guys off? Because there is no way they will ever match my chat and they know it from the moment I open my mouth. Forget sculptured abs (I’m betting you waste half your life in the gym working on your guns you complete douche bag), or designer conversations, guys like me who can naturally dominate a conversation with anyone, anywhere, win the prize every time.

One day you’ll make it to the boardroom sweet cheeks; but it won’t be any time soon.

It seems a bit random to go up to a woman and start a conversation with her beginning with “What was the funniest thing that happened to you today?”. If a guy did that to me, without any kind of introduction or opening first, I would think they were weird, but I can be quite a cynical sort of girl.

It is true that women love talking about themselves, though.

JN,
Good luck with the ugly, fat chicks.
Anyone can pick them up, I choose not to.
One day you’ll work out what quality is, and how to get it.

Just when I was getting bored, you appear, JN.

off but I get the best girl at the party or club or whatever pretty much every single time.

Do they let the inmates have a whack at computers in mental asylums now?

You know why I piss guys off?

Because you’re diminutive, unhinged and haunt the nightclubs of Australia dressed as the Joker trying to like “freak out the squares and stuff.”

guys like me who can naturally dominate a conversation with anyone, anywhere, win the prize every time.

“Where’s the crash cart? We need to get this guy’s ego out of him before it ruptures from all the empty bravado!”

One day you’ll make it to the boardroom sweet cheeks; but it won’t be any time soon.

“We’re losing him.”
“Keep shocking his tiny little heart.”
“It’s no use. His ego exploded.”
“But the little guy won me over. It’s not often you see a little fella like that with the fight to go on.”
“Do you think girls around here warmed to him?”
“Ah ha...hahahhaahahhhahahahahahahahah!”
“You always know how to cheer me up. Beers?”
“Brew!”

I dont think its a matter of being ‘able’ to chat....i think its more getting the opportunity to chat to these wonderful females!

ie.  Warnie and Liz Hurley......Andy and Megan Gale????

I think the everyday average joe amongst us, VERY rarely get the opportunity to meet these fabled relationships.....

They (celebrities) are just like us, seeking a soulmate, seeking the one night stand or even seeking the chance to ‘chat’.

I have no doubt whatsoever there are people amongst us who are able to catch their eye or even get them to join in with the banter.....the problem lies in when do we get a chance to meet these types of people in our current circle of friends???

JN- Bitch please. Put me in a room with you and some hot ladies and we’ll see what happens.

You really are far too serious SSR, but it’s always good for a laugh. Do you enjoy hanging out with Iron Mike in Cyber Space so you can stoke each others egos?

It’s a crying shame really because you are obviousely a smart guy, with a gift for language it has to be said, but burdened by an unholy hatred of women. I can just imagine how scintillating it must be at dinner parties after you have one too many glasses of Yarra Valley Shiraz (so hard to find don’t you know, but such a fine tipple) and decide to start discussing the abominable state of Australian family law. Next time make sure you ask for a pre-nup buddy.

EK I think you’ve already done a blog on Short Men

I present JN as people’s exhibit A.

You really are far too serious SSR

If that was me being serious, I’d hate to see me being idiotic. No wait, I’d love that.

burdened by an unholy hatred of women.

I just say what I see without the filter most people use to obscure the truth they feel deep in their stomachs. And I say it with a certain je ne sais quoi.

I’d rather live in reality. Where women appreciate you for calling them on their many fabrications and lies of omission. They secretly despise the men who believe their tall tales. Pedestalise them at your peril. 

I can just imagine how scintillating it must be at dinner parties after you have one too many glasses of Yarra Valley Shiraz (so hard to find don’t you know, but such a fine tipple) and decide to start discussing the abominable state of Australian family law.

Wine is for the “learned” and dinner parties are for people called Stewart and Bethany. Had you said, “one too many bottles of Heineken and start ripping into the chick in the pink cowboy hat in some dingy nightclub to watch her drug-addled and surprised eyes widen with insatiable lust,” you would have been closer, but I probably still would have tore into you anyway. It is my nature.

Next time make sure you ask for a pre-nup buddy.

Marriage is for the weak. I will never make a mistake so transparently idiotic in all my life, and I once drank detergent, mistaking it for apple schnapps. Plus pre-nups aren’t worth the paper they’re written on. If a woman sleeps at your house twice she is entitled to half your plasma TV and 50% of the beer you plan to drink before you croak according to current trends.

Couldnt agree with you more T - perfectly surmised.

The brain is the biggest sex organ - so connecting on a intellectual level and being able to talk is very important to me also.

Plus don’t you find that great in depth conversations can lead to even better sex???  Win - win situation!

If you’re the type of person who needs to be able to talk with someone fairly regularly in order to feel happy, and you feel this is an important part of a relationship, then without it you feel like something is missing, and you feel somewhat disconnected and empty

Spot on!

How would you feel if you were with a girl and she didn’t sleep with you for weeks?

I’d feel that she was just like every other woman, using her body as leverage to get what she wants in much the same way prostitutes do.

Luckily, I don’t get a lot of that, as I don’t meet many women who object to having multiple orgasms for an hour or so.

However, Turquoise, men are actually great communicators. Most of the world’s great authors, actors, poets, playwrights, comedians, orators and philosophers are/were men. Clearly the common factor in your relationships is you, and if what you say in person is even half as boring as the drivel you post on this site, I’m can’t say I’m particularly surprised.

Conversation is a two-way street. Try making the return trip one day.

Mike J -

I can’t tell if you’re a nasty piece of work or just a troublemaker for the hell of it…

Firstly - of course I indulge in conversation, you idiot. Do you think I’m sitting there silently waiting for them to speak?

Secondly - your statement ‘men are actually great communicators’ is not a true statement. NOT all men are great communicators. Many are not.

Women, generally speaking, are better at communicating, particularly because socially we get to practice it a lot more - talking to friends and sharing problems and concerns and so on.

Some men really struggle to communicate effectively, especially in relationships, and have to learn these skills as they go along.

There are many women who are writers, actors, poets or who work in the field of communications so your example is just ridiculous.

I’m surprised you didn’t say that “Because Shakespeare was a great communicator that means all men are.”

Christ…

How would you feel if you were with a girl and she didn’t sleep with you for weeks?

Married?

If you’re the type of person who needs to be able to talk with someone fairly regularly in order to feel happy, and you feel this is an important part of a relationship, then without it you feel like something is missing, and you feel somewhat disconnected and empty

I might have misinterpreted this, but isn’t that what friends are there for?
Obviously there are things you expect to be able to share with a partner that you wouldn’t with friends, but the way I have read that sounds extremely needy, and it’d be unfair on any guy if you are expecting them to singlehandedly fill that loneliness.

No Markus,

I wouldn’t expect a guy to SOLELY fulfill all those needs.

I think everyone needs to have friends they can talk to.

It’s just that if you’re going to be around a man 24-7, he should really be your best friend, even if you still have a lot of other friends.

That’s just my personal view.

The fact that you live in a glass house conceived, designed, constructed, auctioned and mortgaged by generalisation doesn’t stop you from throwing stones, does it, Turq?

The example I gave isn’t ridiculous because I didn’t say men are better communicators than women. However, you openly claim the reverse, which is an absolute fallacy, and indicts you as the hypocrite that we all know you are. Women are always talking about the things they do better than men… they just don’t seem to ever actually do any of them.

Ultimately, your problem is that you’re externalising, as men who can’t communicate, men who don’t want to communicate (with you).

T,
Years ago one of my exes was ragging at me because I was trying to feel her up.
‘Good sex to men is the same as good romance to women,’ she said.
‘At least I know why the sex has been so bad,’ I said.
We laughed and sorted out our ‘communication’ issues.  She wanted more romance, I wanted more porn-type sex.
Both of us ended up happy.
Point is, the most important tool a woman can use in bed (and a relationship) is her mouth - to talk.
Also, women might be better at talking - because they won’t shut up.  The constant chat makes us switch off.
I don’t talk to hear the sound of my voice, but women do.

Women, generally speaking, are better at communicating, particularly because socially we get to practice it a lot more - talking to friends and sharing problems and concerns and so on.

Wow. So many femo lies, so little time. This, Turquoise, is complete and utter BS. Women communicate endlessly, that’s true. But are they any good at it? A woman will say in a trillion words what a man can say in three or simply allows his actions to show. I don’t know about you, but to me that makes the man the far superior communicator. I guess we can add that feather to our already Big Bird-sized cap.

No woman has ever had a thought she didn’t voice. And no woman has ever enjoyed a moment she didn’t feel the need to blab about to her friends (often while still in the moment). That’s why Facebook continues to be such a success. The girls logged on to download their mindless days in meaningless sentence fragments and the guys followed to get into their pants. This, Turquoise, is reality. You should try and see it some day.

Turquoise - You have stereotyped which I really really hate! And from what i got you say that just because some men can communicate doesnt mean that they are better at it. But because some girls talk lots that means that girls are better at communicating???

Although I agree that if they want whats important to them they have to give you what is important to you.

Mike J… what is wrong with you...seriously?

Yes I’d say OVERALL women are generally better at communicating feelings and such, as they generally feel more comfortable with it, and it is more accepted…

I didn’t say men were ALL BAD COMMUNICATORS.

Some are great.

Some are not.

Some can’t hold a decent conversation and don’t have thoughts or opinions about much, just like the vacant type of woman that heaps of the guys on here always complain about - blank, vacuous and without much to say.

It goes both ways.

Believe me, there are plenty of men out there who come across as pretty blank in general, just as there are women out there like this.

All I said in my original post is that people who don’t seem to have much to say, or don’t seem to have too many thoughts to share, are not that appealing.

It depends on the guy.

I’ve had friendships and relationships where I could talk to someone, and I’ve tried being with someone who thought talking was a bit of a waste of time.

That’s fine - he’ll hopefully find a strong, silent female equivalent and live happily ever after.

And no, it wasn’t how he acted with ME only, it was just his silent nature.

Some people place importance on other things.

He’s cute

That’s all he needs. He could rate the world’s chess grandmasters and you’d still eat up every word with wide eyes, Gigi. Especially if he’s in a fedora and scarf with cute little Pseudo-nerd horn rims. 

I always find i’m more good at the ‘banter’ when i’m not feeling self conscious or thinking the man i’m talking with is so hot that i start rambling or blushing.

Seems you need to build a few more of those skills you were talking about. It also seems a guy’s hotness has an enormous affect on you, sort of disproving your communication BS. But anyway. You keep going girl.

cos his looks and cricket ability don’t really impress

I bet his fame and wallet do though. And again with the looks, Gigi? I thought you valued conversation. Liar. Self-deceiving, liar.

Ah SSR - we could sit here and debate my merits and communication all day but that’s a tad boring.....

Methinks it’s just a guise so you can accuse me of being self centred without giving away any detail about yourself whatsoever.

Methinks it’s just a guise so you can accuse me of being self centred without giving away any detail about yourself whatsoever.

I am a vampire. There, I finally said it. I have been here on this godless planet for over 400 years last easter. I can still remember the day I saw my first automobile. Mary White, a wealthy governess, was sitting at the wheel. This surprised me as I thought “women shouldn’t drive” but she was so beautiful. Sweet, sweet Mary. Of course she later revealed herself to be a harlot along the lines of the good time girls whoring up and down Main Street and demanded I bite her and ravish her over and over. That’s when I began to assume, “not everything is as it seems with women.” “These creatures base their entire lives on appearance and treachery, I hope we never let them in the army, give them the vote or embolden them with unnecessary political, social and workplace concessions. That would be foolhardy.” Foolhardy indeed.

But do you sparkle in the sunlight like diamonds - seeing as i’m female and supposed to automatically adore Twilight??

Yes foolhardy to give women the vote and equality in only some parts of the world - better that we know our place never inherit property, have access to healthcare or education.

Ah - the good olde days. 

For an (which is let’s face it your modus operandi here) you do write well - i have to give you that.

Gigi,
what’s Twilight?
And why would a vampire sparkle in the sunlight? I always thought they burst into flames?
Strange, must be a girl thing.

@ tim - it’s the series my teenage niece is mad about.... I myself prefer Harry Potter and other sci-fiction or fantasy.  Anne Rice’s version of vampires i find more enthralling as I’ve not read the Twilight books - not bowing into the pressure.

And yes - i do find it strange that Twilight vampires sparkle in the light rather than burn.

I do enjoy vampire flicks but Blade and Underworld are my preferences over the tween saga half my work mates lust over.

Not all women like stereotypically chick flicks you know!

I dunno, I tend to steer clear of good looking men, I have a chronic aversion to the frail ego, vanity and rampant self-interest that is quite often present in them.

Besides, I love clever men - this requires chat first. A smart man is a sexy man.

Haha, first point- fair enough. This is often the case with most highly attractive people.

But your second point- Clever and good looking are NOT mutually exclusive characteristics. I believe I’m proof of that to some extent.

Agree with you Pan - smart is very sexy.... though looks are somewhat important let’s be honest - you need to like who you’re talking to and feel some sort of attraction.

I bet you’ve noticed that some of the best physically attractive men become very ugly quickly when they open their mouths and unintelligible trash comes out. 

@ Smidge - luckily for you, ur both sexy and smart.

Gigi have you ever noticed how it works the other way too? A man who initially has not caught your eye with his looks can become amazingly attractive once he starts talking. All of a sudden you start noticing the way his eyes crinkle when he smiles or his great teeth or the look he gets when he starts taliking about something he is passionate about or how great he smells I love the way that works. Once a guy has me interested in what he is saying or can make me laugh he immediately becomes more physically attractive.

@ Loving it - Yes i have had it happen many times that someone i have had a fantastic conversation with becomes all the more alluring to me, the depth of connection making them more attractive.

I’ve had relationships with a couple of men that others never thought were ‘cute’ but i found sexy because they had a way of captivating me and more often than not i could spend hours talking and laughing with them.

A nice connection always makes someone more beautiful.

I agree that happens to a certain extent. A kinda cute girl can end up as a babe with a really good personality. But there’s a line.

Men, ensure that you are a good and sincere conversationalist.

Ah ahahahahahahahaha!

Hey Jane Austen, great to see you’re still kicking around girl! I saw a cup and ball you used to own on Antiques Roadshow a couple of months ago, it looked killer.

Mostly, a lovely, warm conversation is all that we’re after. And you’re then likely to get what you are after.

Jane, we have things called Coke dealers and DJs now who routinely pull women of, I guess you might say, a certain standard by doing the exact opposite of what you suggested you kook. Modern culture teaches us treating women like Pussy-Cat-Doll sexual playthings is the norm, nay even preferential. You keep sipping tea with your dollies, Miss Bec, you deranged feminist throw back and I’ll keep watching woman after woman take to poll dancing “for sport” (not because I’m an attention whoring pseudo-slut) out here in wonderful reality. Where no body lies and everything is just as lame as it seems. Peace.

I often disagree with SSR...but he’s very convincingly won this round.

Miss Bec- your advice will attract a small fraction of the female population. Go out to a club or bar using that advice and a guy will most likely get nowhere.

I agree with you, Bec.

A genuinely warm man who is GENUINELY interested in me as I am in him, is what I suspect many women who want a truly loving relationship, actually want.

That’s actually all I was saying in my original post…

Before I got flamed for it by a few of the flame throwers…

Conversation is great for a relationship and even vitally necessary.

It is not needed for pickup.

If I want sex from a beautiful woman who I don’t know, a minimum of talking can often be to my benefit. Think Twilight and other chick crack.

It obviously works better for good looking guys with a masculine presence (read good posture and size).

At least once I’ve pulled a girl to the toilets without saying a word by knowing what the hell I’m doing with my body, mouth and hands.

Now I’m waiting for all the ‘But that would never work on me..’s. I don’t care about you. I care about the hot 21yo in the club thanks.

Brilliant piece of writing Sad Sad Reality of Here Unfortunately.
(Suggestion: Since you are here anyway you might want to consider “Here Fortunately”. I mean life can be such a drag and yet it can also be good; and if it can be good don’t you want to believe in that?)
Perhaps you should do something with your skill, because you are funny, pointed and politically incorrect, which makes for very entertaining reading.
Thanks for the smile you put on my face.

Noted.

I’ve met girls who for one reason or another get turned on by rape and abuse (reinacting their childhood). It’s not the sort of thing you’ll ever hear about such as in today’s story on date rape in Geelong.

Buyer beware. My advice; leave the freaks in the freakshow.

I...I think I....love you, SSR!

Make your move sooner. Make your “chat” more naughty and less “I’m there for you as a friend”. Done.

It can be a very fine line with some women though. Good luck.

Liz Hurley has millions of her own money and Warnie so i don’t think that’s the major attraction there.

I think as mentioned above by other bloggers - people will shag hot or beautiful people with little regard to their personality or morals - wanting a relationship or ongoing connection to them is another thing altogether.

Funnily enough you mention men as being visual creatures which is true - but during my stint as a call centre worker I noticed i got asked out many times simply due to voice and personality - so men are not immune to the ‘fantasy’ element either.

Women do respond more to words and language but important to remember that many studies have shown women to get just as turned on by visual stimulation (i.e porn) as men.  Just saying.....