From the Roast of David Hasselhoff: David Hasselhoff's d**k is like a Polaroid picture: nobody uses it anymore and shaking it does not make it appear faster.
Women know when men have been watching porn by the new things they do in the bedroom.
Jet Blue understands how horrible air travel has become since the '60s, so they just shove distractions down your throat.
Jagermeister is so sweet, Dave hands it out to little trick-or-treaters on Halloween.
Girls love 80s parties so much they'll pretty much go to any 80s party anytime. Even if it's being thrown by an international terrorist.