Many parents enjoy rocking or
feeding their baby to sleep, and if that's something you want to continue, go ahead! But you can show your little one how to learn to drift off without help from you, too. Read on to find out if helping your baby to self-settle is something you want to do, and how best to show your baby how to settle themselves to sleep.
When can I start helping my baby to self-settle?
Babies have the ability to settle themselves to sleep from around
three months old (St James-Roberts et al 2015), but that doesn’t mean they will. You know your baby best, so you may prefer to wait until your baby is older before you help them to settle themselves to sleep at night.
How can I encourage my baby to settle themselves to sleep?
You can help your baby to settle by making a space that makes falling asleep come naturally to them. A
bedtime routine will let your baby know it's time for sleep, by setting up positive sleep associations
(Allen et al, 2015, NHS 2021).
Make a soothing warm
bath and a
massage, part of the routine. Read your baby a story or sing to them in the room where they sleep, ending with a cuddle and a kiss
(NHS 2021).
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Once the routine is finished, put your baby down in their cot while they are drowsy but still awake. You may find your baby drifting off to sleep without much protest. Although, if they’re used to being fed or rocked to sleep, you may need to help settle them a little
(NHS 2021).
Leave the room after you've said goodnight, and wait outside, checking on them often to soothe them. Or make it more gradual by sitting next to your baby's cot or bed and easing yourself further away over a few nights. It’s best not to try more formal
sleep training methods until your baby is six months old
(Basis nd).
My baby keeps falling asleep while I’m feeding them
If your baby falls asleep in your arms while
breastfeeding or
bottle-feeding to sleep, gently wake them before laying them down in their cot or Moses basket. This is so they get used to the idea of settling without you feeding them to sleep
(NHS 2021). You could even make your baby's last feed the start or the middle of their bedtime routine and, if they fall asleep, wake them to finish the rest of the bedtime routine before laying them down.
Though you may not want to wake your sleeping baby, keep the bigger picture in mind. You're working towards the long-term goal of helping your baby gain the ability to settle themselves to sleep. Your baby will rest for longer because they can put themselves back to sleep when they wake during the night
(St James-Roberts et al 2015). This way they'll be able to get the rest they need without you each time.
I’ve tried helping my baby settle and it just doesn’t work
Your baby may not easily get the hang of knowing when it's bedtime. Don’t worry, this is really common. It may be that they just haven’t reached the stage where they’re able to self-settle. If this could be the case, wait a few weeks or even months before trying again. But keep up a bedtime routine in the meantime, as this will help them associate sleep with the end of that routine
(NHS 2021).
Or it could be that your baby is
too tired, and too overstimulated, to settle down by themselves. Bringing their bedtime earlier and making their routine as calm and soothing as possible may help to avoid this.
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