My husband doesn't want a fertility test. How can I convince him to see a doctor?
Medically reviewed by Dr Ashwini Nabar, Gynaecologist and Obstetrician
Written by Pooja Pasricha | 18 Jan 2022
Men often feel more uncomfortable than women when talking about fertility. If your husband isn't ready to talk to a doctor about infertility, do your best not to be angry or upset, however frustrated you may feel. Instead, try to talk to him and address his worries. After all, this is a challenge you are both facing together.
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The good news is that once the fertility problem is diagnosed, you might be able to find a solution for it and go on to have children. Most male fertility problems can be successfully treated, but they do have to be diagnosed first. In some cases, it might just be a question of making some lifestyle changes. Knowing this might help your husband to decide to go for the fertility test.
To understand his feelings, know that just like women, men have many worries when it comes to infertility tests. The biggest might be the fear that you'll resent or blame him for not being able to have children if indeed he has a fertility problem. Reassure your husband that the problem could just as easily be with either or both of you, and that whatever happens, it's no one's "fault".
In some cases, his hesitation might come from confusing infertility with impotency. But, these two conditions are very different. If your husband can keep an erection, then he's not impotent. However, that doesn't rule out the possibility that he has a fertility problem. His fertility will depend on the health of his sperm or the ability to ejaculate.
Your husband will also have to give a sperm sample. The thought of this can make him very uncomfortable. If he doesn't like the idea of producing a sperm sample at the clinic, know that most clinics allow you to produce the sample at home to take in for testing. He will need to give the sample after four or five days of abstinence.
Your doctor may recommend special condoms for the collection of semen. Normal condoms cannot be used for this because they contain a spermicide that kills the sperm collected.
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If you or your partner is really reluctant to get tested, it may be worth considering counselling. Fertility testing and treatment can be an emotional process for you both, and a little extra support may make your journey easier.
Reviewed by Dr Deepti Gupta, BabyCenter India's expert obstetrician and gynaecologist.
Read this article in Hindi: मेरे पति फर्टिलिटी टेस्ट नहीं करवाना चाहते। डाॅक्टर से मिलने के लिए उन्हें कैसे राज़ी करुं?
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