Helping your child to talk

Early language

Your baby is born with an innate desire to communicate with you and for you to communicate with him. Babies are totally dependent on their parents, but they -- like all small animals -- have to communicate their needs. While all baby animals cry when they are hungry, thirsty or cold, human babies also show a great deal of interest in speech and in those who talk to them. They move to the rhythm of human speech, they turn toward anyone who is speaking and they carry out little 'look, move and gurgle conversations' with anyone who is willing to engage with them.

How we talk to babies

Your 'conversations' with your baby may go something like this:

'How are you this morning, sweetheart'.

You pause, he catches your eye and moves his mouth or gurgles as if to say, 'I had a nice sleep'.

Then, like most parents, you will probably put what you think your baby is trying to say into words: 'You had a nice sleep', and continue the conversation.

'Are you ready for your breakfast?' and, when your baby gurgles again, 'You are ready, aren't you'.

This tendency to extend and second guess what our children are trying to tell us forms the model for how we help them when they're older, too. When, at 14 months, he says 'Ca' we clarify with 'It's a cat'. Get it wrong and he will tell you. If it's the car not the cat he is telling you about he might say, 'No ca -- CA'. And you'll probably reply, 'Oh car, not cat'.

Mother tongue

Motherese is the name that psychologists use for this particular way of talking to small children. It is a language our children encourage us to speak. If we say the 'right thing' they smile and gurgle or answer us back. If we get it wrong, they look away, cry or repeat what they have just said to us. Your child will pick out for himself the things that work best for him and will reward you with a smile when you do what he likes. This means that, if you are sensitive to your child's expressions of pleasure and displeasure, you will almost always make the best choices and will almost always be the perfect teacher.

What babies need to practise

Don't be afraid to use baby talk for babies. If saying 'moo-moo', 'woof-woof' or 'yum-yum' for 'cow', 'dog' and 'food' hindered language development, parents would have stopped using these words long ago! The doubling up of sounds is found in almost all of a child's earliest words -- Dada, Mama, Baba, puss-puss and so on -- which suggests that it helps babies to produce the right sounds. He is simply using a word he finds it easier to say in order to communicate with you.

Helping your baby to talk

• Starting on day one, talk to your baby simply, clearly and often. He will not understand what you are saying, but will enjoy having 'look, move and gurgle' conversations with you.
• Always be guided by your baby. If what you do and say makes him happy you can be pretty sure you are doing and saying the right thing.
• Read picture books to your baby from the age of six months.
• Express in words what he shows in signs and facial expressions.

Talking to toddlers

Conversation has two elements -- understanding and producing language -- with three parts to each:

• taking turns
• understanding words
• developing grammar.

Most toddlers understand more words than they can say and more complex grammar than they can produce, although the lag between the two is not always that large. When you talk to your child try to match his understanding of words rather than his ability to produce them. He may call a cat a 'ca', but you should always call it a 'cat'. Try to be consistent in the words you use: if you use the word 'beaker' for his beaker, don't confuse him by also using the word 'cup'.

When you talk to your toddler, let him watch your face if possible. Because we tend to look towards the object of our conversation, your child will be able to see what your conversation is about by following your gaze. If he cannot see your face, point or use your hands to direct his gaze.

Helping him to take turns

Learning to take turns in conversation is a vital part of learning to talk. Turn-taking is best developed in the simple conversations we have with our children and in the games we play with them. 'Peekaboo', tickling games and simple action games like 'This is the way the ladies ride' all have an element of turn-taking. As he waits to be tickled he will almost certainly communicate to you with giggles, squirms or looks that he knows what is coming next. Let him know you understand.

Encouraging early sentences

By the time they are two most children are beginning to put words together. The words they use to form these early sentences tend to be the names of objects (car, cookie), people (me, Mommy), verbs (have, want, go) or words they use like verbs (doit allgone). So for example he might say, 'Car go' or 'Me doit'.

You can confirm that you understand the structure of his sentences by expanding them and clarify the meaning, for example, 'The car is going' or 'You can do it'. As the language he produces becomes more complex so should our expansion of it. So 'Night, night. Teddy go sleep now' becomes 'Teddy is going to sleep now. Night, night, Teddy'.

Small children can only hold a very small amount of information 'in mind' so you need to match the grammar you use with your child's capabilities, stretching him without loosing him. Remember that a child under four has a very short memory span. Keep sentences short and simple. It also helps if use active rather than passive language. So 'The dog bit the man' rather than 'The man was bitten by the dog'.

Tips for talking to your toddler

• Walk around the house or garden naming the things you see.
• Stretch your child's language by reading him stories with slightly more complex language than he is able to use.
• Poetry, rhyme and rhythm help young children to hear the little sounds that make up words and encourage them to take pleasure in the sounds of language.
• Sit down with your child and discuss your day. What have you done and where did you go? What will you do tomorrow?

When to ask for help

• Always make sure that your child has all his developmental checks and if you suspect hearing or developmental problems ask for further tests.
• If your child has not produced a word (and especially if he does not seem to understand any words) by the time he is 15 months old, speak to your doctor.