How to help your child grow up happy

You've made sure your child is healthy, loved and has plenty of activities to fill her day. But do you sometimes wonder if she's happy?

How will I know if my child is happy?

During her first six months of life, your baby will become a master at showing you when something makes her happy or upset. Her face will light up in a smile when you enter the room and she'll wail when someone takes her favourite toy away. She'll switch from smiling to crying and back again more quickly than you can keep up with.

Try not to worry if it seems like your baby spends more time wailing than giggling. It's because babies experience distress earlier than happiness. Crying and unhappy facial expressions are your baby's only way of communicating with you. They alert you when your baby's nappy is dirty, she's hungry or in pain.

As your child grows up, she'll be able to communicate her feelings more easily with words and body language.

How can I make sure she's having fun?

While a colourful mobile for her cot and a baby gym may bring a smile to her face, what makes your baby happiest is much simpler: you. Connect with your baby through games and play, because if you're having fun, she's having fun!

Play is also a great way for your child to develop skills that will be essential for her future happiness. As she gets older, unstructured play will help her work out what she wants to be when she grows up. Building houses with blocks, experimenting in her toy kitchen and banging on a pan with a spoon could all indicate future career paths (or rule them out!).

How can I help her express her feelings?

For young babies, the only way they know how to express their feelings is through crying. But as your child gets older, you can encourage her to name her feelings and express them to you with words. Young children will pick up very quickly on emotional words such as "happy" or "angry".

Even before she can talk, you can show her pictures of faces and ask her which one is feeling the same way she is.

Bear in mind that it's normal for your child to become oversensitive, clingy or nervous at times. It may be because her routine has changed or she's been dissappointed by something. This will happen more as she gets older. When your child sulks in a corner during a birthday party or cries because she hasn't been invited to one, don't dismiss those feelings. She needs to know that it's OK to be unhappy sometimes, it's simply part of life.

How can I protect my child when she's unhappy?

In your baby's first year, she's learning so many things: how to sit up, crawl, grasp objects, walk and talk. These skills take time to develop. It's important you let her make mistakes along the way, while encouraging her to keep trying. She'll feel everything from frustration and even anger at first, to a feeling of achievement and confidence when she gets it right.

Allowing your child to feel all these emotions will help her build an inner strength that leads to happiness as she gets older.

How can I help her grow and develop?

The happiest people are often those who have mastered a skill. It takes time and effort to become really good at something. So when your child successfully writes her name for the first time, give her lots of praise. She can really enjoy the success because she's worked hard to achieve it. She'll also take pride in others making a fuss over her achievement.

Perhaps most importantly, she'll learn that she has some control over her life. If she puts her mind to it, she can be good at anything. This will continue to be an important factor in achieving happiness when she's an adult.

Does her health have an effect on her happiness?

Lots of sleep, exercise and a healthy diet are important to everyone's well-being, especially those who are still growing. Giving your little one plenty of space to release her energy will help put her in a good mood. Let her kick her legs in the air, crawl towards a beloved ball, or run around at the park.

Pay attention to your child's need for structure, too. While some babies and toddlers are very easygoing, most thrive and feel more settled with a set routine.

Is my child influenced by my mood?

Yes. For better or worse, children pick up on their parents' moods. Even young babies imitate their parents' emotional style. When you smile, your baby smiles and her brain becomes "wired" for smiling.

With a young family, it's normal to feel tired and overwhelmed. But if you find yourself constantly at the end of your tether, or How to teach your child to share (age 2)depressed, it's important to seek help.

How can I teach her to make others happy?

Even as early as 10 months old, your baby can be taught how satisfying it is to help others. If you give her a bite of banana, let her do the same by feeding you a piece. Show her how happy her gesture makes you feel. If you brush her hair, give her a chance to brush yours. These small moments can encourage her to share and to care for others.

As your baby grows into a toddler, simple chores, such as putting her dirty clothes in the laundry basket, can help her feel that she's making a valid contribution.