What is a rainbow baby?
A rainbow baby is a child born after a miscarriage, stillbirth, or death in the first weeks of infancy. Although rainbow babies represent joy after a devastating storm, many women expecting a rainbow baby struggle with mixed emotions including worry, excitement, fear, and hope. If this is true for you, it may help to talk to your healthcare provider or a therapist. You can celebrate your rainbow baby and honor your loss: Consider writing your angel baby's story or establishing an annual "angelversary," as well as participating in National Rainbow Baby Day.
What does "rainbow baby" mean?
The term "rainbow baby" describes a child who is born after a previous child was lost to miscarriage, stillbirth, or death during infancy. The term has been popularized on social media through rainbow pregnancy announcements, birthday posts, rainbow emojis, and hashtags.
The rainbow is a symbol of the radiant beauty that can come after a devastating storm. The endearing metaphor is meant to both celebrate the new child and respectfully honor the loss that came before.
For some parents, expecting a rainbow baby is joyful. But for others, it can surface difficult emotions and grief for the "angel baby" who was lost.
What is a double rainbow baby?
The moniker "double rainbow baby" characterizes a child born after two miscarriages, stillbirths, or deaths.
What is National Rainbow Baby Day?
National Rainbow Baby Day falls on August 22. It's a time when families can rejoice in the blessings of a healthy child while reflecting on the previous loss. Many families participate simply by posting about their experience on social media (see "How can I celebrate my rainbow baby and honor our loss?" below).
National Rainbow Baby Day is also an opportunity to build community and awareness around pregnancy and infant loss. An estimated 10 to 20 percent of all known pregnancies end in miscarriage, and 1 percent of pregnancies end in stillbirth. Yet many parents grieving the loss of an infant feel discouraged and alone. Sharing messages of support, healing, and hope can be cathartic.
What is it like to be pregnant with a rainbow baby?
The notion that becoming pregnant again can ease the pain of a previous loss is a common one. But it's rarely that simple. In fact, studies show that women who have had a miscarriage or stillbirth have higher rates of anxiety and depression during a subsequent pregnancy, particularly if they've experienced multiple losses.
Conflicting feelings can be difficult to manage during a rainbow pregnancy. Here's what moms in the BabyCenter Community's Rainbow Babies group have to say:
"I just found out I'm pregnant again. We're over the moon excited, but I'm scared to death at the same time."
"After losing a baby – especially at birth! – no one tells you how hard it is to be pregnant again. No one tells you how anxious you'll be or how it's hard to differentiate the current pregnancy from the last one."
"I'm excited mixed with guilt mixed with complete joy!"
"I'm trying so hard to be positive, but I'm a nervous wreck. All I'm doing is comparing this pregnancy to my miscarriage."
"We had our first ultrasound yesterday, and we felt zero connection to this baby. When I was 6 weeks with our first I was crying because I already loved him so much. I feel no emotional connection to this baby. No joy or excitement. Nothing."
"I didn't tell anyone I was pregnant because I was letting fear strip my joy. My midwife connected me with a therapist who specializes in fetal loss. It's been helpful. With every small milestone I feel a little bit better and it gets a little bit easier."
If you're having a difficult time emotionally, talk to your care provider and consider finding a good therapist who can support you through pregnancy and beyond.
How can I celebrate my rainbow baby and honor our loss?
There's no "right" way to celebrate a rainbow baby or honor an angel baby. Individuals, societies, cultures, and religions have differing norms and traditions about mourning death and welcoming life. Do what feels best for you and your family, whether that's sharing your loss with the world or just close family and friends. Here are some ideas to inspire you:
- Tell your story. Sharing your experience with others can help you feel less isolated, help you process your grief, and make room for hope.
- Establish an "angelversary." Set aside time annually to remember and honor your lost baby or babies.
- Plant a tree or flowering bush. Plant one tree for each child, or use special plaques to commemorate each life.
- Personalize jewelry. Initials, interlocked hearts, or entwined rings can be wearable symbols of your enduring love for all your children.
- Get a tattoo. Creative designs that leave space for future babies can be beautiful lifelong reminders of all your children.
See more ways to honor your loss.
Rainbow baby announcement ideas
There are many fun and creative ways to share the news of your rainbow baby:
- Balloon bouquet: Gather a balloon in each color of the rainbow and pose your belly or your baby with it.
- Lovely letterboard: Spell out a special message or poem and include the month your rainbow baby will be born. Wording ideas: "Without the rain there would never be rainbows," or "Our rainbow after the storm."
- Colorful clothing: Shop for a rainbow shirt for yourself, or a rainbow onesie for your baby, and wear it with pride.
- Festive ornament: Personalize a rainbow ornament with your baby's name, birth date, or a quote.
Learn more:
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ACOG. 2020. Management of stillbirth: Number 10. American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists. https://www.acog.org/clinical/clinical-guidance/obstetric-care-consensus/articles/2020/03/management-of-stillbirth [Accessed February 2021]
Burch K. 2020. What is a rainbow baby? How the term for children born after a pregnancy loss went mainstream. https://www.msn.com/en-us/lifestyle/parenting/what-is-a-rainbow-baby-how-the-term-for-children-born-after-a-pregnancy-loss-went-mainstream/ar-BB1al0qm [Accessed February 2021]
Markin RD. 2016. What clinicians miss about miscarriages: Clinical errors in the treatment of early term perinatal loss. Psychotherapy 53(3): 347–353. https://doi.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2Fpst0000062 [Accessed February 2021]
Weir K. 2018. Healing the wounds of pregnancy loss. Monitor on Psychology 49(5): 26. https://www.apa.org/monitor/2018/05/pregnancy-loss [Accessed February 2021]
