I mean, it's a policy I guess
TechnicallyRon’s Tweets
Maths is useless unless you need to figure out problems such as "A government promises 40 new hospitals, but spends 38 billion on an app that doesn't work, nurses deserve a 19% pay rise, how much will the government give to their mates in PPE contracts?"
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Prime Minister Rishi Sunak wants all pupils to study maths to 18 bbc.in/3icAqtG
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Met Norman today. Norman is living his best life, I think.
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HAPPY NEW YEAR YOU BEAUTIFUL LOT. LET'S KICK 2023 IN THE ARSE.
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this is what happens when you don’t recycle your pizza boxes
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Andrew Tate trying to bully a teenager on the internet and failing so badly he gave his location away to the police and got arrested is the end of year gift we all needed.
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Between Andrew Tate being publically owned, Ben Shapiro not understanding how stories work and Elon being Elon the last few days have been a great example of how professional contrarians are actually just fucking morons.
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yes, please do enlighten me. email me at smalldickenergy@getalife.com
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Hello @GretaThunberg
I have 33 cars.
My Bugatti has a w16 8.0L quad turbo.
My TWO Ferrari 812 competizione have 6.5L v12s.
This is just the start.
Please provide your email address so I can send a complete list of my car collection and their respective enormous emissions.
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We now enter the time of the year known as 'the annual nonsense'. Crisps for breakfast? Of course. Start drinking at 10am? Why not. Have 4 naps in the afternoon? It would be rude not to. Pretend reality and responsibilities don't exist as you become one with the sofa? Yes.
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Merry Christmas from the lads
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My only decent contribution to society
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“Any questions?”
“In Muppets Christmas Carol why are Kermit and Piggys children pigs and frogs? Shouldn’t they be hideous hybrid mutant pigfrog creatures?”
“For the sake of fuck, for the last time... questions about the meeting”
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Sorry to talk this again but I want to be clear. I don’t boycott Harry Potter because it gives Rowling money. She’s got money. The reason to not support HP is she uses it to stay relevant & argues that its continued popularity is a sign that her antitrans hate is valid.
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Make me the new CEO of Twitter. I have a lot of qualities the old CEO had. I too make bad financial decisions, I tend to ruin everything I touch and I also have no idea what the fuck I'm doing.
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Welcome to New free speech twitter! Anything goes! Unless you make fun of a billionaire then you can fuck off. Also if you want to post to another website you can fuck off. Also if your politics don't align with the owner you can fuck off. Apart from that it's fantastic.
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MPs have given themselves a 28% pay rise over the last 10 years, Nurses deserve so much more than they get (in comparison and with inflation they have had a -5% pay rise) so maybe they deserve something better than clapping at them and quickly forgetting.
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At the office holiday party
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Your annual reminder that if you're going away for Christmas it's probably time to re-order your meds because no one needs a repeat of that year I forgot and had a breakdown and tackled the christmas tree
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If Elon Musk can waste all his money on a company he doesn't understand and then get booed by a stadium of people for 10 minutes and still think he is doing a good job then you can believe in yourself for a bit.
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"What's the diagnosis doctor?"
"He's got Woke Mind Virus"
"Jesus christ, what are the symptoms"
"He doesn't like billionaires"
"Bloody hell"
"And doesn't think just being a dick to people is a good personality trait"
*grabbing sledgehammer* "I'll take care of it"
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Seeing as the GC crowd have found this:
1. Trans women are women
2. In my case, I actually AM a man in a dress so that insult doesn’t carry weight with me.
3. I don’t care how you slice it, going up to a stranger and asking them their piss plans for the night is fucking weird.
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A drunk terfy lady just angrily asked me which toilet I was planning on using tonight.
“Your son”, I answered.
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It's fair to say they've become mates
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RIDE SHADOWFAX. SHOW US THE MEANING OF HASTE.
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As many of us will be disappointed about the #England match tonight, the impact this can have on survivors can be much more severe. Being disappointed about the match is NO excuse for abuse. #HesComingHome #ENGFRA
For support
👉womensaid.org.uk/information-su
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The venn diagram of people who say people are too sensitive nowadays and people who are having a public meltdown about a netflix documentary is a circle.
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Remember if you say 'meghan markle' in the mirror three times Piers Morgan will appear and just start screaming until his nose bleeds
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This is the greatest song lyric of all time
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2016: "After Brexit we will give 350million a week to our NHS"
2020: "Clap for our Nurses, our NHS, they are supporting all of us"
2022: "Nurses are greedy and selfish and should work be happy working for much less than they are worth"
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Not my Polish boyfriend pointing to Tiny Tim in Muppet's Christmas Carol and asking "What's the name of the tuberculosis frog?"
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my dog looking at my camera roll
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Being a nazi isn't a mental health problem it's a being a cunt problem.
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In honour of Christine McVie, here is the perfect Fleetwood Mac joke from Flight of the Conchords.
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You know that video of a bloke playing Back in Black while his girlfriend batters his helmet with a frying pan?
Found it.
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tis the season
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I would be surprised that Matt Hancock, who oversaw the deaths of 200,000 people whilst trying to get his end away, is in the final of a reality TV show about eating various testicles but everything stopped making sense years ago and this country is a nightmare.
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If England beat USA tonight they have to take the S off of Legos and put it back onto Math those are the rules.
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Seemed like there was plenty of money when this government paid for a useless app for no one, PPE contracts for all their mates and gave themselves a pay rise but the claps were nice I guess
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In all fairness Brits probably don't do Thanksgiving because if we had to take a day off for the anniversary of us fucking over a native people and ruining their country we'd never have to go to work.
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Elon Musk has enough money to be batman but instead he's doing that bit from the dark knight rises where Bane just let all the prisoners free
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