Toilet training: what works

To help make toilet training as smooth a process as possible for you and your toddler, check out our top tips for what tends to work.

1. Waiting until your child is ready

There's no magic age for being ready to start learning to use the toilet. Most toddlers develop the necessary physical and mental skills between 18 months and two years old, while some children aren't there until closer to age three or even four (ERIC 2019).

Keep an eye out for physical, cognitive and behavioural signs that your little one may be ready to give it a try (ERIC 2019, Nemours 2019, NHS nd).

If your toddler is facing changes such as starting childcare, a new sibling or moving house, you may want to wait until the seas are calmer before taking the plunge (ERIC 2019, HSC 2019, Nemours 2019).

Once you do start, if you've been trying for several weeks without success, that's a sign your child's not ready. Wait a few more weeks or until you see signs that the time is right, and try again (SA DE 2015).

2. Making a toilet training plan

Before you even buy your child a potty, it's important to have a plan for the training process itself. Things to consider include:

• when and how you want to start
• what (if any) rewards you'll use
• how to handle accidents
• when to back off

At the same time, prepare to be flexible. There's no way to know in advance how your child will respond to toilet training attempts or what techniques will work best.

Keep in mind that – as with most developmental milestones – success doesn't necessarily happen in a straightforward manner. Your toddler may make initial progress, only to regress once or twice along the way (HSC 2019, Nemours 2019).

Discuss your plan with your child health nurse, your childcare provider and other parents. They'll probably have plenty of experience and advice to share.

Once you've decided on a plan, make sure that everyone else who takes care of your child follows the same approach, to avoid confusing him (ERIC 2019, HSC 2019, Nemours 2019).

3. Taking it slow

Mastering the various steps of toilet training can take a long time. Yes, some children will finish in just a few days, but most need weeks or months (Nemours 2019, SA DE 2015), especially when they're working on staying dry at night.

Don't push your child (or let others push him) to get through toilet training faster than he's ready to (Nemours 2019). Let him set the pace and get used to this new, multi-part process (SA DE 2015). He'll move from one stage to the next in his own time.

Of course, it's perfectly fine to try to motivate him with gentle reminders and encouragement. If he resists, though, ease up.

4. Praising your toilet training child

Throughout toilet training, your child will respond to praise and encouragement (HSC 2019). Whenever he moves on to a new step or tries to use his potty (even when he doesn't quite succeed), tell him he's doing well, and that you're proud of him. Compliment him now and then on his dry undies or nappy.

But be careful not to go overboard. Too much praise may make him nervous and afraid to fail, which can lead to more accidents and setbacks.

5. Accepting that there will be toilet-training accidents

It's likely that your toddler will have numerous accidents before being completely toilet trained (HSC 2019, Nemours 2019). Don't get angry or punish him. After all, it's only recently that his nervous system has matured enough for him to even recognise that he has a full bladder or rectum (NHS nd), and his muscles have developed sufficiently to allow him to hold in his wee and poo.

Your little one will get the hang of the process eventually. When he has an accident, calmly clean it up, and gently suggest that next time he tries using his potty instead (HSC 2019).

Now find out what doesn't work when it comes to toilet training.