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Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts: A CBT-Based Guide to Getting Over Frightening, Obsessive, or Disturbing Thoughts Paperback – Illustrated, March 1, 2017
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You are not your thoughts! In this powerful book, two anxiety experts offer proven-effective cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) skills to help you get unstuck from disturbing thoughts, overcome the shame these thoughts can bring, and reduce your anxiety.
If you suffer from unwanted, intrusive, frightening, or even disturbing thoughts, you might worry about what these thoughts mean about you. Thoughts can seem like messages—are they trying to tell you something? But the truth is that they are just thoughts, and don’t necessarily mean anything. Sane and good people have them. If you are someone who is plagued by thoughts you don’t want—thoughts that scare you, or thoughts you can’t tell anyone about—this book may change your life.
In this compassionate guide, you’ll discover the different kinds of disturbing thoughts, myths that surround your thoughts, and how your brain has a tendency to get “stuck” in a cycle of unwanted rumination. You’ll also learn why common techniques to get rid of these thoughts can backfire. And finally, you’ll learn powerful cognitive behavioral skills to help you cope with and move beyond your thoughts, so you can focus on living the life you want. Your thoughts will still occur, but you will be better able to cope with them—without dread, guilt, or shame.
If you have unwanted thoughts, you should remember that you aren’t alone. In fact, there are millions of people just like you—good people who have awful thoughts, gentle people with violent thoughts, and sane people with “crazy” thoughts. This book will show you how to move past your thoughts so you can reclaim your life!
This book has been selected as an Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies Self-Help Book Recommendation—an honor bestowed on outstanding self-help books that are consistent with cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) principles and that incorporate scientifically tested strategies for overcoming mental health difficulties. Used alone or in conjunction with therapy, our books offer powerful tools readers can use to jump-start changes in their lives.
- Print length192 pages
- LanguageEnglish
- PublisherNew Harbinger Publications
- Publication dateMarch 1, 2017
- Dimensions5.75 x 0.5 x 8.75 inches
- ISBN-101626254346
- ISBN-13978-1626254343
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Editorial Reviews
Review
—Joseph A. Adams, MD, medical director at Baltimore Health Systems and Step By Step of Maryland, LLC, and past president at Smoke Free Maryland
“I wish I would have had access to this book twenty years ago! Sally Winston and Martin Seif have put all the pieces of the puzzle together to help people understand and overcome unwanted intrusive thoughts. This is a must-read book, packed with information to help people suffering with anxiety-provoking intrusive thoughts, as well as clinicians who are trying to help them.”
—Kimberly J. Morrow, LCSW, maintains a private practice in Erie, PA; specializes in the treatment of anxiety and obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD); provides training and case consultation for clinicians through www.anxietytraining.com; and is author of Face It and Feel It
“It turns out that commonsense approaches to stopping our worries, such as pushing thoughts away, arguing with them, or seeking reassurance, actually feed these worries and help them grow. Sally Winston and Martin Seif—two of the brightest minds in our field—deliver a simple yet powerful two-step process for change.”
—Reid Wilson, PhD, author of Stopping the Noise in Your Head
“Finally, here is an effective, neurologically based clinical approach to dealing with unwanted thoughts (without having to use a rubber band). The authors’ clear and distinctive voice should be widely heard by cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) clinicians, and by those engaged in an ongoing and unrelenting struggle with undesirable ruminations.”
—Ronald M. Doctor, PhD, professor emeritus of psychology at California State University, Northridge; author; active researcher; and practicing behavior therapist
“In their book Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts, Winston and Seif tackle one of the great mysteries of human distress and suffering: the seeming inability to rid our minds of unbidden, unwanted, and disturbing thoughts, images, and memories. Readers are given a rare glimpse into the nature of unwanted intrusive thoughts, as well as their origin and impact on emotional distress. Written in a warm, engaging, yet knowledgeable manner, this book provides new insights for consumers and professionals alike on why common sense fails to soothe the troubled mind. Readers will find practical, research-based guidance on how to subdue unwanted intrusions and overcome their emotional disruption. This book offers much-needed help for those who struggle with the torment of persistent disturbing thoughts.”
—David A. Clark, PhD, professor emeritus in the department of psychology at the University of New Brunswick, and coauthor of The Anxiety and Worry Workbook and Cognitive Therapy of Anxiety Disorders with Aaron T. Beck
“Tens of millions of people have bothersome intrusive thoughts, and most often these thoughts are so unacceptable or embarrassing that many people have trouble telling anyone about them—even their closest family members or friends. At worst, these intrusive thoughts are part of severe problems such as OCD, but we know that almost anybody under stress can occasionally experience intrusive thoughts. Now, at last, a state-of-the-art psychological program written by two of the leading clinicians in the country with years of experience treating this problem is available. The program in this remarkable little book may be sufficient to help you overcome your intrusive thoughts, if therapeutic assistance may be needed, to guide you to the best available resources. I recommend this program very highly as a first step for anybody dealing with this issue.”
—David H. Barlow, PhD, ABPP, emeritus professor of psychology and psychiatry, founder, and director emeritus at the Center for Anxiety and Related Disorders at Boston University
“Winston and Seif have done a wonderful job in providing sufferers of obsessive intrusive thoughts with up-to-date and scientifically accurate information about this often crippling problem. This clearly written guide will serve both as a self-help resource, as well as a workbook to be used as an adjunct to psychotherapy.”
—Lee Baer, PhD, professor of psychology in the department of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, and author of Getting Control and The Imp of the Mind
“An interesting and original account of a little-understood phenomenon—intrusive thoughts."
—Fredric Neuman, MD, director of The Anxiety and Phobia Treatment Center, and author of Caring, Fighting Fear, and Worried Sick?
“What a great book for people who struggle with intrusive thoughts! Two highly skilled and respected experts in the treatment of chronic anxiety explain how intrusive thoughts work, what they mean and don’t mean, why they defy your best efforts at getting rid of them, and most importantly, how to change your relationship with these thoughts so they don’t remain a persistent, negative focus. They help the reader understand that intrusive thoughts don’t persist despite your best efforts; they persist because of your best efforts at arguing with, struggling against, and seeking to avoid these unwanted thoughts. Their book offers plainspoken instructions with lots of good examples that will help you let go of the guilt, fear, and confusion that so often accompanies intrusive thoughts. This is a must-read for anyone experiencing such thoughts, as well as the professionals who seek to help them.”
—David Carbonell, PhD, is a Chicago-based psychologist specializing in treating chronic anxiety for over thirty years, author of Panic Attacks Workbook and The Worry Trick, and “coach” at www.anxietycoach.com
“Winston and Seif have written an important and much-needed book. It speaks to those who suffer intensely from unwanted intrusive thoughts and, as a result, descend into a world of anxious isolation. The authors lift the sufferer from a frightening darkness into a world of understanding and onto a path to freedom. This is necessary reading for anyone suffering from the tyranny of unwanted thoughts, and it should be required reading for helping professionals.”
—Bruce Shapiro, MD, clinical professor of psychiatry at Columbia University College of Physicians and Surgeons
About the Author
Sally M. Winston, PsyD, founded and codirects the Anxiety and Stress Disorders Institute of Maryland in Towson, MD. She served as the first chair of the Clinical Advisory Board of the Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA), and received their prestigious Jerilyn Ross Clinician Advocate Award. She is a master clinician who has given sought-after workshops for therapists for decades. She is coauthor of What Every Therapist Needs to Know About Anxiety Disorders.
Martin N. Seif, PhD, cofounded the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, and was a member of its board of directors from 1977 through 1991. Seif is associate director of The Anxiety and Phobia Treatment Center at White Plains Hospital, a faculty member of NewYork-Presbyterian Hospital, and is board certified in cognitive behavioral psychology from the American Board of Professional Psychology. He maintains a private practice in New York, NY, and Greenwich, CT, and is coauthor of What Every Therapist Needs to Know About Anxiety Disorders.
Product details
- Publisher : New Harbinger Publications; Illustrated edition (March 1, 2017)
- Language : English
- Paperback : 192 pages
- ISBN-10 : 1626254346
- ISBN-13 : 978-1626254343
- Item Weight : 9.9 ounces
- Dimensions : 5.75 x 0.5 x 8.75 inches
- Best Sellers Rank: #3,650 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #4 in Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
- #12 in Anxiety Disorders (Books)
- #12 in Anxieties & Phobias
- Customer Reviews:
About the authors
I'm Dr. Marty Seif, a psychologist who specializes in anxiety disorders, and a pioneer in its modern treatment. I grew up in a suburb of New York City and have a private psychotherapy practice in Greenwich, CT. I am no stranger to the experience of anxiety, and I became an expert in the field because I want to help others live a life that is unhampered and unlimited by anxiety and the avoidance it engenders. I have enormous experience working with people who are afraid of flying, and created and led the popular Freedom to Fly program from 2000 to 2017. I am on the faculty of New York-Presbyterian Hospital, Former Associate Director of the Anxiety and Phobia Treatment Center at White Plains Hospital, a founder of the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, Board Certified in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy by the American Board of Professional Psychology, and a Fellow of the American Academy of Cognitive and Behavioral Psychology. In the past years, I have also developed an interest in innovative ways to view and treat OCD, including subtle forms of OCD, and many worry states. I write a newsletter on Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts, and you can also read an article I co-authored with Dr. Sally Winston, published in the July/August issue of Psychotherapy Networker, (https://www.psychotherapynetworker.org/magazine/article/1027/upside-down-psychotherapy) Dr. Winston and I write a blog for Psychology Today titled, "Living with a Sticky Mind'. You can read more about me at www.DrMartinSeif.com.
Dr. Sally Winston, a licensed psychologist, was born in Montreal and was educated at Cornell University and the University of Illinois, Champaign-Urbana. She spent 18 years at SheppardPratt Hospital in Baltimore and then, in 1992 cofounded the Anxiety and Stress Disorders Institute of Maryland which specializes in treating phobias, panic, OCD, worry and related disorders . She is the first recipient of the prestigious Jerilyn Ross Award of the ADAA. She gives workshops nationally and internationally and appears frequently in the media. Her teaching style is well known for being free of jargon, compassionate, informed by current scientific evidence and accessible. She maintains a lively psychotherapy practice .
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I discovered this book after doing some research. I read the negative reviews and almost didn’t purchase it. I decided to anyway, and I am incredibly happy I did. The negative reviews aren’t giving this book the credit it deserves. This book is much more than just “ignoring the thought”. In fact, you’ll learn that actively trying to ignore it is actually fueling it.
This book starts by teaching you about the normalcy of intrusive thoughts and will take you through some types that people have. It WILL be distressing to some people who don’t experience thoughts of such severity. I personally do, so it was somewhat comforting to see. There are sexual, harmful, etc. There are unfiltered examples of these thoughts which I am very happy about, because for most people, myself included, Intrusive thoughts can be incredibly graphic.
The authors then begin to teach you about the *reaction* to the thought creating an anxious hurricane within you, not the thought itself. It WILL be hard to grasp this concept. Stay strong.
You will learn about myths about facts that you may believe, and that I believed when I first started reading the book. There is a Q and A about these thoughts that answers common questions such as “why do the thoughts feel like impulses?” And “I get so scared and the fight to control myself feels so real. Why?” This was incredibly eye-opening for me. I think everyone needs to hear what the authors have to say about that phenomenon. Essentially, it is an anxiety-based illusion, but they get more into the science of it that is super important for intrusive-thought-sufferers NEED to hear. This aspect of experiencing intrusive thoughts can be the most challenging for many.
Next is a section that I consider to be the most helpful. It goes over the actual process in the brain that creates to and reacts to these thoughts that makes them such a b*#*# to deal with. Once again, incredibly eye opening. I really started to understand why I was having such a hard time with this thought and why I was panicking and running around in a frenzy when it would pop up.
They explain why common strategies that we try to use just don’t work. They give the thought too much power. Even trying to tell yourself the thought is false or having a negative reaction to it actually encourages it to stay by telling it that it is significant. There is so much more that goes into it so BUY this book to learn more about this, but as I’ve said so many times, it’s eye-opening. STOP reassuring yourself. Absolutely none. Not even “that’s false” or “I would never do that”. It does not help, even though you think it is the right reaction to such awful thoughts. Trust me on this, I struggled with this at first too. The authors give names to the voices in your head that grapple with the thoughts and really do a wonderful job at showing you how the questions you try to answer after analyzing the thought (worried voice) are never going to be satisfied by your answers or reassurance (false comfort). They make up dialogue between the two about different thought categories and you will begin to see how this creates a chaotic cycle within your mind.
Finally, they start telling you what to do. It’s too much to get into, but it DOES take courage and strength. They lay it all out for you. They will tell you what to do. It is very simple, but it takes a lot of work on your part. They also touch on ways you can bring the thought up and practice without waiting for it to pop in. This is what we are all scared of: exposure. But trust me, they will tell you what to do both when the thought is existing on its own and when you are purposefully bringing it in to practice what they are teaching you. Stick with it, trust the authors and trust yourself most of all. It SUCKS. It’s hard. It will seem counterintuitive. It takes tremendous strength and bravery. They will tell you what you will feel and how to handle it. The anxiety will be intense- they will tell you what to do and how to do it.
I have hope that with this book you will learn about your entanglement with your thought, what to do about it, and build tools for an encounter with a future thought.
I am nowhere “cured” and never will be. That’s not the goal. I am actually still working with the thought that I have been haunted by the last few weeks. It takes practice and courage. I am still working on my recovery and it will be a journey. But for the first time in a month, I feel hopeful. Buy this book. Be brave.
Thank you to the authors for this gem.
I discovered this book after doing some research. I read the negative reviews and almost didn’t purchase it. I decided to anyway, and I am incredibly happy I did. The negative reviews aren’t giving this book the credit it deserves. This book is much more than just “ignoring the thought”. In fact, you’ll learn that actively trying to ignore it is actually fueling it.
This book starts by teaching you about the normalcy of intrusive thoughts and will take you through some types that people have. It WILL be distressing to some people who don’t experience thoughts of such severity. I personally do, so it was somewhat comforting to see. There are sexual, harmful, etc. There are unfiltered examples of these thoughts which I am very happy about, because for most people, myself included, Intrusive thoughts can be incredibly graphic.
The authors then begin to teach you about the *reaction* to the thought creating an anxious hurricane within you, not the thought itself. It WILL be hard to grasp this concept. Stay strong.
You will learn about myths about facts that you may believe, and that I believed when I first started reading the book. There is a Q and A about these thoughts that answers common questions such as “why do the thoughts feel like impulses?” And “I get so scared and the fight to control myself feels so real. Why?” This was incredibly eye-opening for me. I think everyone needs to hear what the authors have to say about that phenomenon. Essentially, it is an anxiety-based illusion, but they get more into the science of it that is super important for intrusive-thought-sufferers NEED to hear. This aspect of experiencing intrusive thoughts can be the most challenging for many.
Next is a section that I consider to be the most helpful. It goes over the actual process in the brain that creates to and reacts to these thoughts that makes them such a b*#*# to deal with. Once again, incredibly eye opening. I really started to understand why I was having such a hard time with this thought and why I was panicking and running around in a frenzy when it would pop up.
They explain why common strategies that we try to use just don’t work. They give the thought too much power. Even trying to tell yourself the thought is false or having a negative reaction to it actually encourages it to stay by telling it that it is significant. There is so much more that goes into it so BUY this book to learn more about this, but as I’ve said so many times, it’s eye-opening. STOP reassuring yourself. Absolutely none. Not even “that’s false” or “I would never do that”. It does not help, even though you think it is the right reaction to such awful thoughts. Trust me on this, I struggled with this at first too. The authors give names to the voices in your head that grapple with the thoughts and really do a wonderful job at showing you how the questions you try to answer after analyzing the thought (worried voice) are never going to be satisfied by your answers or reassurance (false comfort). They make up dialogue between the two about different thought categories and you will begin to see how this creates a chaotic cycle within your mind.
Finally, they start telling you what to do. It’s too much to get into, but it DOES take courage and strength. They lay it all out for you. They will tell you what to do. It is very simple, but it takes a lot of work on your part. They also touch on ways you can bring the thought up and practice without waiting for it to pop in. This is what we are all scared of: exposure. But trust me, they will tell you what to do both when the thought is existing on its own and when you are purposefully bringing it in to practice what they are teaching you. Stick with it, trust the authors and trust yourself most of all. It SUCKS. It’s hard. It will seem counterintuitive. It takes tremendous strength and bravery. They will tell you what you will feel and how to handle it. The anxiety will be intense- they will tell you what to do and how to do it.
I have hope that with this book you will learn about your entanglement with your thought, what to do about it, and build tools for an encounter with a future thought.
I am nowhere “cured” and never will be. That’s not the goal. I am actually still working with the thought that I have been haunted by the last few weeks. It takes practice and courage. I am still working on my recovery and it will be a journey. But for the first time in a month, I feel hopeful. Buy this book. Be brave.
Thank you to the authors for this gem.
Purchased "Needing to Know For Sure" as soon as I finished this. Will likely buy the "Overcoming Anticipatory Anxiety" too.
Here are a few notes I made about the book:
I recognize that whoosh was "first fear." I can’t control first fear. This is the amygdala doing its job. It’s normal. First fear can be caused by subconscious thoughts. But thoughts are just thoughts. Thoughts are not facts. Thoughts feel real only because of the emotion I place on them. I will not explore, entertain, or try to solve a problem connected to the thought. I will allow and accept the thought. By validating if it’s true or false, I give weight to the thought. I will not give False Comfort a voice because it feeds Worried Voice and creates more anxiety. You can’t reason with Worried Voice because, unrealistically, Worried Voice demands 100% assurance when tunnel-visioned. I choose to "accept and allow” the thought, which is more of an attitude than technique. I will float above the fray by removing myself from a turbulent experience: holding a neutral, third-party perspective on my thought; it is the opposite of entanglement. Floating is a non-distressed, uninvolved, and non-judgmental perspective. You view the thoughts from an emotionally-removed perspective. The feeling of urgency that comes from intrusive thoughts is a false message; allow time to pass with the thought—in an unrushed accepting response —is how to stop it. Emotional discomfort does not mean real danger. The thought that it might come back is just another intrusive thought. It does not matter if a meaningless thought comes back. The most effective ways to rob thoughts of power is to continue doing what you were doing before. Acceptance is an attitude of allowing the thoughts and not a technique for stopping them. If I am checking if I’m having the thoughts, I’m not accepting. Acceptance is when I don’t care whether the thoughts are there or not because they are unimportant or worthy of attention and because they don’t matter. This reduces anticipatory anxiety, reduces avoidance, and cultivates okayness in the mind.
I have high hopes and just ordered their other book: Overcoming Anticipatory Anxiety: A CBT Guide for Moving Past Chronic Indecisiveness, Avoidance, and Catastrophic Thinking
https://a.co/d/4UP1dgS