It's the pivotal toddler moment you've been waiting for – the transition from diapers to big kid underwear! Potty training may seem like a big challenge, but with the right timing and a consistent approach, it can be a success. Read on for some great potty training tips for girls.
When to start potty training girls
There's no set age to potty train a girl, and the best timing will depend on your child's individual readiness. Some girls are ready to start potty training by 18 months, while others aren't interested until they're around 3 years old – both are perfectly okay times to tackle potty training.
About one-fourth of children are diaper-free during the day by 24 months of age, 85 percent are by 30 months, and 98 percent by 36 months. Girls typically learn the skill two or three months more quickly than boys, who take an average of six or seven months to completely potty train. If your child is your first born, it may take her a couple of months longer than siblings. (That's because little siblings are generally more eager to follow in their sister or brother's footsteps.)
Potty training takes a number of physical and cognitive skills, and potty training success depends more on your child's readiness than her age. Not only must she be able to walk and sit on the toilet, put on and take off her clothing, control her bladder and bowel movements, and sit for at least a couple minutes at a time – but she must also be able to communicate when she needs to go and understand and follow instructions.
Your child's interest and desire to learn how to potty train is important, too. Does she show interest in the following?
- Using the toilet
- Wearing big kid underwear
- Imitating older siblings and adults
- Pleasing you
- Success (does she recognize and enjoy success?)
- Independence
Read more about whether or not your toddler is ready to potty train here.
How to potty train a girl
Some parents approach potty training swiftly, committing to the popular potty training in three days method, while others take a more gradual approach and introduce the concept over time. Whatever you choose is fine; just remember to stay consistent, positive, and encouraging. Read on for more tips for how to potty train your girl.
Let her watch you use the potty
Toddlers learn by imitation, and watching you use the bathroom is a natural first potty training step. When talking about body parts, it's important to be accurate. If you teach her to refer to her vaginal area as her "wee-wee" when every other part has a more formal-sounding name, she may infer that there's something embarrassing about her genitals.
If your child has seen her older brother, her father, or one of her friends from preschool or daycare stand tall at the toilet, she'll more than likely want to try to pee standing up. Have her watch you and explain how girls sit down to pee.
If she persists in wanting to stand up, let her. Sure, you'll have to clean up a couple of messes, but she'll probably get the idea fairly quickly that she doesn't have the equipment to make it work, and you won't have to engage her in a power struggle.
Make sure you have all the right gear
Most experts advise buying a child-size potty, which your toddler can feel is her own and which will also feel more secure to her than a full-size toilet. (Some children are afraid of falling into the toilet, and their anxiety can interfere with potty training.)
If you prefer to buy an adapter seat for your regular toilet, make sure it's comfy, secure, and attaches firmly. Have a stool nearby too if you go this route – it's important that your daughter is able to maneuver her way on and off the toilet easily any time she needs to go. (She also needs to be able to stabilize herself with her feet to push when she's having a bowel movement.)
Bathrooms can be a dangerous place for curious toddlers, so always supervise her when she's using the toilet. You may also want to pick up a few picture books or videos for your daughter, which can make it easier for her to make sense of all this new information. There are several books to choose from, some that even come with downloadable apps or dolls and mini potties.
Help her get comfortable with using the potty
Early in the process of starting potty training, your child needs to get used to the idea of using the potty. Start by letting her know that the potty chair is her very own. Personalize it by writing her name on it or letting her decorate with stickers. Then have her try sitting on it with her clothes on.
After she's practiced this way for a week or so, you can suggest she try it with her pants down. If she seems at all resistant, avoid the temptation to pressure her. That will only set up a power struggle that could derail the entire process.
If your child has a favorite doll or stuffed animal, try using it for potty demonstrations. Most children enjoy watching their favorite toy go through the motions and may learn more this way than from you simply telling them what to do. You might even construct a makeshift toilet for the doll or stuffed animal. Then, while your child is on her potty, her toy can be sitting on theirs.
Set up a potty-training schedule
Getting your toddler out of diapers will depend on your daily schedule and whether she's in daycare or preschool. If she is, it's a good idea to talk about and try to coordinate your potty training strategy with her daycare provider or teacher.
You'll have to decide whether to use the back-and-forth method of switching between diapers and underwear or the cold-turkey method of going to underwear full-time.
Some experts recommend making the move to disposable training pants at first, which are essentially like diapers but can be pulled up and down like underwear. But other experts disagree, saying it's best to transition right into underwear or old-fashioned cotton training pants, both of which will allow your daughter to feel when she's wet right away. That, of course, makes it more likely that you'll be cleaning up some accidents.
You'll have to decide what's best for you and your child. Your child's doctor may recommend one way or the other. And your daycare provider or preschool teacher may have their own opinion on when it's best to switch to underwear at school.
For a while at least, you'll want to continue using diapers at night. (Nighttime potty training for most children comes later, after they've successfully mastered daytime training.)
Celebrate her successes
Your toddler will undoubtedly have a few accidents as she learns to use the potty, but eventually she'll know the accomplishment of getting something in the toilet. It's okay – encouraged, even! – to celebrate this moment with great fanfare. Let her know that she's reached a significant milestone by rewarding her with a "big kid" privilege, such as getting an extra bedtime story.
That said, try not to start making a big deal of every trip to the potty or else your child may start to feel nervous and self-conscious under the glare of all that attention.
More tips for potty training girls
Once you've introduced your little one to her very own toilet and she's starting to get the hang of sitting down on it to go to the bathroom, here's how to keep the potty training going.
Let her get excited about wearing cool underwear
Get your daughter focused on the benefits of being potty trained by taking her on a special errand: Buying big-girl underwear. Let her know that she can choose whatever kind she wants. (Underwear featuring a favorite movie character or a bright design is usually a big hit.)
Talk up the outing ahead of time so she gets excited about being old enough to use the potty and wear underwear just like mommy or her big sibling.
Plan for naked time
Nothing helps your toddler figure out when she needs to potty like letting her spend time diaper-less. You can do this on several consecutive days, in the evenings when the family is all together, or just over the weekends. The more time your child spends out of her diapers, the faster she'll learn to use the potty.
Watch for signs that she has to go (squirming, clutching her legs together, or swaying from side to side), and use those cues to suggest that it's potty time. Put her potty in an accessible area while she plays, and encourage her to sit on it regularly, such as first thing in the morning, right before bath time, and every 2-3 hours in between.
Make sure she knows how to wipe correctly
One of the most important things you'll need to teach your daughter during potty training is how to wipe properly. Explain that she needs to make sure she moves the toilet paper from front to back, especially when she has a bowel movement, to avoid getting an infection.
If this seems too complicated for her to grasp (and it can be for many girls because it requires having to remember to go in a certain direction), teach her to pat the area dry after she pees.
Urinary tract infections, while uncommon, may be more likely in girls around the time of potty training. If your daughter needs to urinate frequently or feels a sudden need to go, says it hurts, complains of abdominal pain, or starts to wet her pants after having established good bladder control, call her doctor and have it checked out.
Make potty training fun
If you approach potty training with a little creativity, your child may be more likely to stay motivated throughout the entire process. Drip some blue food coloring into the toilet and she'll be amazed at how she can turn the water green. Or put her favorite book in the magazine rack next to the toilet so she can look through it whenever she has to go.
If your child starts to lose interest when she's well into potty training, you may want to consider offering rewards. One popular method is to use stickers and a calendar to keep track of her successes. Every time she goes to the potty, she gets to paste a sticker of her choice on the page. Watching the sticker bounty accumulate will keep her inspired.
If the stickers themselves aren't enough of a thrill, you can offer an additional reward such as a trip to the playground or a much-wished-for toy when she amasses enough stickers or stays dry for a certain number of days in a row.
Remember to keep your cool
No doubt about it, potty training can be challenging – not only for your toddler, but for you, too! Here are some ways to stay calm when things start to feel frustrating:
- Choose a time to start potty training when you're ready and patient – not during a stressful period, such as a move, starting a new job, or another big transition.
- Reach out for support. Ask other parents how they went about potty training and how they dealt with discouragement. Talk with your child's daycare provider about your struggles with potty training, and ask for suggestions. Ask your child's doctor to weigh in, too.
- Expect setbacks. Mistakes will happen, and they don't signal failure. Try to be matter of fact about them – for your sake as well as your child's.
- Be prepared to surrender and try again at a later date. Starting when your child isn't ready will simply mean that you'll be potty training for a longer time – and with more frustration.
When to start nighttime potty training for girls
Once your daughter gets the hang of daytime potty training, you're ready to move into the next phase. Wait until she's solidly potty trained, then start checking her diapers in the mornings and after naps to see whether they're dry. Many children start staying dry during their afternoon naps within about six months of learning to use the toilet.
Nighttime training is trickier because it depends on her body being able to hold the urine for an extended period of time and how deeply she sleeps. If she wants to try sleeping without diapers, go ahead and let her. If you're worried about her soiling the mattress, an absorbent crib mattress protector can help with bed-wetting messes.
If, after a few nights of this experiment, she's clearly not ready to stay dry, put her back in diapers in a non-judgmental way. Tell her that her body is not quite able to tackle this next step, and reassure her that she'll soon be big enough to try again.
If your child stays dry three out of five nights, make your "all underwear, all the time" policy official. Support her attempts to stay dry by restricting how much she drinks after 5 p.m. and taking her to the bathroom right before she goes to bed. (You might also consider getting her up for a nighttime bathroom trip right before you go to bed, too.)
What happens if potty training isn't working?
As with any other skill, the more your daughter uses the potty, the better she'll be at it. But there are some things you can do to make it easier for her. Dress her in loose-fitting clothes that she can easily take off herself, for example, or buy underwear a size too big.
If she still has trouble with the concept of potty training, don't overreact or punish. Few things can disrupt potty training faster than making a child feel bad for having an accident. Accidents are normal and part of the process. Keep in mind that even children who have used the toilet successfully for months occasionally have accidents when they're engrossed in an activity.
If you feel frustrated, remind yourself that scolding her for wetting her pants might mean months of diapers ahead. And if you're both frustrated, take a break from potty training for a few weeks then try again when you're ready.
Read more:
The ABCs of potty training
Video: Potty training in ten steps
What if my child refuses to sit on the potty?
Potty training problems and solutions
