I sent you tulips, with all the obligations plucked away. Just the pretty stuff, I said– the bright petals and the inky insides, a leaf or two maybe for balance. If a poem were a flower, this would be it. You don’t need to water or press them, or trap their likeness in your camera. I did not send you an obligation, I sent you … Continue reading get well soon
I’ve thought about this a lot, and have come to the conclusion that I just can’t authentically manage NanoPoblano in its 30-days-in-a-row form this year. Last year’s combination-style was also chaotic for me as a host, because it felt like managing two different projects at once. So I’m separating them. This year for November, I’ll be doing NanoNanoPoblano: ten days of posting, ten days of … Continue reading A note on Nano 2021
Grief is light, I tell myself in the middle of another sleepless night. Sometimes I try to keep myself grounded but it is impossible when you hold so much light, when you are so much lighter than air, so much lighter than light. I think I could float away. I think I could be a star– just look how my name has collapsed into a … Continue reading grief is
There’s more to delete than to say: a novel of more space than word. . There is a tiny ceramic rhino I ordered from England. I bought him specifically to hold a ring that I no longer have, and now he is not a useful thing, but I love him nonetheless. He was willing to hold an unobviously heavy thing for a time, and it’s … Continue reading space
Yesterday’s post was written half-a-gummy in, and even though reading it today makes me cringe, I’m leaving it up because it will remind me to stop taking the gummies as soon as they are no longer crucial to my ability to consume food. I don’t want to numb myself and armor myself at the same time, walk out the door with too-soft thumbs and thimbles … Continue reading yikes: i think what i was trying to say
My physical therapist responds to the break up and says I can have a revenge body if I want one. I ask him instead to help me build a forgiving body. I’ll need muscles, I say, for self-forgiveness. There’s a lot to carry. I bought everything I think I need to make a linocut print. I’m not certain why or what I’ll do with it, … Continue reading linocut
I’ve drank more alcohol in the last couple weeks than I have through the whole pandemic combined, which for the record is still less than two glasses a day. I hung up on my therapist for the first time in our years-and-years long arrangement. I chew my way through gummies (legal here) to get any sleep, to eat any food. My plants are dying, and … Continue reading content warning + ramble warning
The fogless mirror in the shower catches a cloud and for the first time, I cannot stare back into my own eyes while drifting into steam-drenched think. A droplet peels from the rind of the showerhead and I see my full self in it; upside-down, tiny. At the gallery, there are mirrors everywhere. A clay bowl reflects just in front of itself, and a boy … Continue reading 100/ exactly what we see
