Enjoy fast, free delivery, exclusive deals, and award-winning movies & TV shows with Prime
Try Prime and start saving today with fast, free delivery

$12.95

Get Fast, Free Shipping with Amazon Prime FREE Returns

FREE delivery Tuesday, September 3 on orders shipped by Amazon over $35

Or Prime members get FREE delivery Saturday, August 31. Order within 3 hrs 18 mins.

Delivering to Sanfrancisco 94102 - Update location

Only 6 left in stock (more on the way).

$$12.95 () Includes selected options. Includes initial monthly payment and selected options. Details

Ships from

Amazon.com

Ships from

Amazon.com

Sold by

Amazon.com

Sold by

Amazon.com

Returns

30-day refund/replacement

Returns

30-day refund/replacement

This item can be returned in its original condition for a full refund or replacement within 30 days of receipt.

Read full return policy

Payment

Secure transaction

Payment

Secure transaction

We work hard to protect your security and privacy. Our payment security system encrypts your information during transmission. We don’t share your credit card details with third-party sellers, and we don’t sell your information to others. Learn more

Details

Add a gift receipt for easy returns

$8.52

Get Fast, Free Shipping with Amazon Prime FREE Returns

FREE delivery Tuesday, September 3 on orders shipped by Amazon over $35. Order within 11 hrs 3 mins

Delivering to Sanfrancisco 94102 - Update location

Only 1 left in stock - order soon.

$$12.95 () Includes selected options. Includes initial monthly payment and selected options. Details

Access codes and supplements are not guaranteed with used items.

Ships from

Amazon

Ships from

Amazon

Sold by

G's House

Sold by

G's House

Condition

Used - Good

Condition

Used - Good

Returns

30-day refund/replacement

Returns

30-day refund/replacement

This item can be returned in its original condition for a full refund or replacement within 30 days of receipt.

Read full return policy

Payment

Secure transaction

Payment

Secure transaction

We work hard to protect your security and privacy. Our payment security system encrypts your information during transmission. We don’t share your credit card details with third-party sellers, and we don’t sell your information to others. Learn more

Details

Enhancements you chose aren't available for this seller. Details

${cardName} not available for the seller you chose

${cardName} unavailable for quantities greater than ${maxQuantity}.

Add to List

Added to

Unable to add item to List. Please try again.

$12.95

FREE pickup Thursday, September 5 on orders shipped by Amazon over $35

Amazon Locker - Magma

0.79 mi | San Francisco 94103

How pickup works

Only 6 left in stock (more on the way).

$$12.95 () Includes selected options. Includes initial monthly payment and selected options. Details

Enhancements you chose aren't available for this seller. Details

${cardName} not available for the seller you chose

${cardName} unavailable for quantities greater than ${maxQuantity}.

Sold by

Amazon.com

Sold by

Amazon.com

Returns

30-day refund/replacement

Returns

30-day refund/replacement

This item can be returned in its original condition for a full refund or replacement within 30 days of receipt.

Read full return policy

Payment

Secure transaction

Payment

Secure transaction

We work hard to protect your security and privacy. Our payment security system encrypts your information during transmission. We don’t share your credit card details with third-party sellers, and we don’t sell your information to others. Learn more

Details

Other sellers on Amazon

New & Used (14) from $1.92 + $3.98 shipping

Image Unavailable

Image not available for
Color:

To view this video download Flash Player

Follow the author

Sherokee Ilse

Follow

Couple Communication After a Baby Dies: Differing Perspectives Paperback – October 1, 2008

by Sherokee Ilse (Author), Tim Nelson (Author)

4.1 14 ratings

See all formats and editions

{"desktop_buybox_group_1":[{"displayPrice":"$12.95","priceAmount":12.95,"currencySymbol":"$","integerValue":"12","decimalSeparator":".","fractionalValue":"95","symbolPosition":"left","hasSpace":false,"showFractionalPartIfEmpty":true,"offerListingId":"htEQuyvv1wTNV8hbmaLNOSZUjPKD8n%2BjxHofa1aJnWQG95o%2Bpe%2B4GOqvNdaynBDA1oeHxHHo4zsrMbQgTCTNKbGwbB5Cq%2BD6QAiDq%2BLPRfMFMlhDVelz%2BBS4DLpC3M%2Fk%2FAESQNKUSIE%3D","locale":"en-US","buyingOptionType":"NEW","aapiBuyingOptionIndex":0}, {"displayPrice":"$8.52","priceAmount":8.52,"currencySymbol":"$","integerValue":"8","decimalSeparator":".","fractionalValue":"52","symbolPosition":"left","hasSpace":false,"showFractionalPartIfEmpty":true,"offerListingId":"htEQuyvv1wTNV8hbmaLNOSZUjPKD8n%2BjnAbuDCn5RmQ5tEPOPZ8XFWI59gnytMPfORpQzvnWP8zrVaJnPt1Q%2BSzyCSHzhGy4gEYpdMOYRCBorIweTZqEyxnri6JU6wW%2BXZrcQutaSZRGjacfX1sTSQAYsJQF7frS4P0EZulZvsaMCFRevt7JUq5jnRaH6eYr","locale":"en-US","buyingOptionType":"USED","aapiBuyingOptionIndex":1}],"desktop_buybox_group_2":[{"displayPrice":"$12.95","priceAmount":12.95,"currencySymbol":"$","integerValue":"12","decimalSeparator":".","fractionalValue":"95","symbolPosition":"left","hasSpace":false,"showFractionalPartIfEmpty":true,"offerListingId":"htEQuyvv1wTNV8hbmaLNOSZUjPKD8n%2BjxHofa1aJnWQG95o%2Bpe%2B4GOqvNdaynBDA1oeHxHHo4zsrMbQgTCTNKbGwbB5Cq%2BD6QAiDq%2BLPRfMFMlhDVelz%2BBS4DLpC3M%2Fk%2FAESQNKUSIE%3D","locale":"en-US","buyingOptionType":"PICKUP","aapiBuyingOptionIndex":2}]}

Purchase options and add-ons

Couple Communication is a unique book that helps bereaved parents at the time of their loss and in the days and months ahead. It offers hope, encouragement, and promotes healthy communication between partners who have suffered the ultimate loss of a baby.

Such a loss can shake the very core of a relationship, changing parents forever. The long process of healing can be significantly enhanced if parents remember things such as: 'Love and loss are a part of life, just as joy and sorrow are a part of the human experience. Don't add to your pain by attempting to deny your loss...talk with each other, tell your partner what you are feeling and what you need. Don't try to hide behind work or keeping busy or staying in bed.' The authors also offer extensive advice on the importance of communication, some of which includes, 'Communication is not only what you say, but how it is perceived by the person listening. Communication is also what you don't say as you interact. Judging each other's words and deeds by using your intuituition or making guesses is dangerous. When you are in doubt, don't assume, instead check it out - ask. Make communication a priority, even during difficult times. This could be the key to saving your marriage and strengthening your love for each other.'

Sherokee and Tim share their insights--insights that have the benefit of decades of hindsight - as a man and a woman following the deaths of their children and how they and their spouses met many challenges. In addition to sharing their personal 'couple' stories, the authors present topics such as 'Personality and past experiences often influence how each of us grieves,' 'Give each other the benefit of the doubt,' 'A challenge to faith,' 'Just because it looks broken to you does not mean it needs fixing,' 'Brain differences may influence how we grieve,' 'Will having another baby miake it better?' 'Regrets and guilt,' 'Intimacy,' ' and Compromise and getting along.'

Toward the end of the book, the reader will find other couples contributions and a later section offers thought provoking questions and conversation starters to be used privately by couples or in support groups or counseling sessions.

Print length

104 pages
Language

English
Publisher

Wintergreen Press, Inc.
Publication date

October 1, 2008
ISBN-10

1883525039
ISBN-13

978-1883525033
See all details

Frequently bought together

This item: Couple Communication After a Baby Dies: Differing Perspectives

$12.95

Get it as soon as Tuesday, Sep 3

Only 6 left in stock (more on the way).

Ships from and sold by Amazon.com.

+

Empty Arms: Coping With Miscarriage, Stillbirth and Infant Death

$11.49

Get it as soon as Tuesday, Sep 3

In Stock

Ships from and sold by Amazon.com.

+

Empty Cradle, Broken Heart: Surviving the Death of Your Baby

$15.79

Get it as soon as Tuesday, Sep 3

In Stock

Ships from and sold by Amazon.com.

Total price:

To see our price, add these items to your cart.

Try again!

Details

Added to Cart

Some of these items ship sooner than the others.

Show details Hide details

Choose items to buy together.

Sherokee Ilse
163
Paperback
$11.49
Get it as soon as Tuesday, Sep 3
FREE Shipping on orders over $35 shipped by Amazon
Pat Schwiebert
500
Paperback
$10.91
Get it as soon as Tuesday, Sep 3
FREE Shipping on orders over $35 shipped by Amazon
Deborah L. Davis
342
Paperback
$15.79
Get it as soon as Tuesday, Sep 3
FREE Shipping on orders over $35 shipped by Amazon
Zoë Clark-Coates
288
Hardcover
$17.96
Get it as soon as Tuesday, Sep 3
FREE Shipping on orders over $35 shipped by Amazon
Only 4 left in stock - order soon.
Jane Heustis RN
137
Paperback
$13.79
Get it as soon as Tuesday, Sep 3
FREE Shipping on orders over $35 shipped by Amazon
Pat Schwiebert
200
Perfect Paperback
$8.95
Get it as soon as Tuesday, Sep 3
FREE Shipping on orders over $35 shipped by Amazon

Editorial Reviews

Review

'Finally, a book for couples...the authors speak from experience, no sugar coating, an honest, and authentic book for bereaved couples. I love it and know that couples will, too! Life, marriage, and relationships are difficult enough under normal circumstances, when a child dies the complexity and conflict of parental feelings are often insurmountable; this book has all the ingredients to help that relationship survive and thrive.' --Pam Magi RN, Perinatal Bereavement Coordinator since 1988

'As a father and a husband, men are often overlooked after the loss of a baby. We are often thought of as the ones who must be strong and hide our feelings. This book presents the issues that are seldom talked about-- a father s needs, a husband s needs, and the hardships that can impact a couple s relationship following the loss of a child. This can take a toll on the strongest of marriages and relationships. I appreciate Tim and Sherokee s more than 25 years of experience to help couples through this unthinkable tragedy. It is a must read for any couple suffering through the loss of a son or daughter.' --Ryan Doherty, Porter Ann s dad

'Couple Communication After A Baby Dies is a book that is much needed. As I read this book, I found that I could relate to what both Tim and Sherokee thought and felt. Beyond just relating, I learned many powerful lessons in communication. I just wish this book had been around when I was newly bereaved. I see this as a resource that will both bring couples together during a devastating time and also help save marriages.' --Lori Martini, bereaved mother and stillbirth advocate.

About the Author

Sherokee Ilse, a bereaved mother who has experienced a miscarriage (Marama), a stillborn son (Brennan), and an ectopic pregnancy (Bryna), is also the mother of two healthy sons and has been married for over 30 years to David. Motivated by her losses, Sherokee wrote one of the early books on infant loss, Empty Arms: Coping with Miscarriage, Stillbirth, and Infant Death...Surviving the First Hours and Beyond (over 300,000+ copies in print). Since her first loss, she has become an international speaker and trainer on this subject, as well as on general bereavement. She has started a national non-profit organization, served as a consultant, and has been involved on many boards of other pregnancy loss organizations. She has been a guest on national television shows such as Oprah, as well as many regional radio and television shows throughout the world.

Sherokee has written, co-written, or published seventeen books/booklets. Her website is a favorite for both bereaved families and professional careproviders. Sherokee continues her mission to help improve the care of and societies response to those who have a loved one die, especially a child.

Tim Nelson, and his wife Monica, experienced the full-term stillbirth of their second child, Kathleen. Folowing his daughter's death, Tim wrote, A Father's Story - When a Baby Dies, one of the first perinatal loss support booklets for fathers. He also volunteered with the former Pregnancy and Infant Loss Center, eventually serving as president of the board. In the mid 1990's, the communications and design business he co-owns founded a company that publishes and distributes resources worldwide for grieving families and their caregivers -- A Place to Remember.

In 2004, he authored A Gude for Fathers - When a Baby Dies, a pocket-sized resource for bereaved dads. He is also the publisher of Born to Fly - An Infant's Journey to God. Tim is certified by the Grief Recovery Institute as a training specialist and conducts outreach programs for those experiencing change and loss in their lives. He has spoken both nationally and internationally on topics of grief and loss, specifically as they relate to men. He has four living children.

Product details

Publisher ‏ : ‎ Wintergreen Press, Inc.; First Edition (October 1, 2008)
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Paperback ‏ : ‎ 104 pages
ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1883525039
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1883525033
Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 4.8 ounces

Best Sellers Rank: #1,888,600 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #3,032 in Pregnancy & Childbirth (Books)

Customer Reviews:
4.1 14 ratings

Brief content visible, double tap to read full content.

Full content visible, double tap to read brief content.

Videos

Help others learn more about this product by uploading a video!

Upload your video

About the author

Follow authors to get new release updates, plus improved recommendations.

Sherokee Ilse

Brief content visible, double tap to read full content.

Full content visible, double tap to read brief content.

Sherokee Ilse, a Mpls author, has written/co-written over 17 books and booklets on infant loss and bereavement as the result of her miscarriages and the fullterm stillbirth of her son. Her first and most popular book, Empty Arms: Coping with Miscarriage, Stillbirth, and Infant Death has over 300,000 copies in print, and has recently been revised.

Ms. Ilse has been a guest on Oprah and Donahue and many local, regional, and national radio and tv shows. As a respected international speaker/trainer on grief and loss, she has given thousands of talks during the last almost 3 decades. Her practical, friendly speaking style earns her comments like this one, "I feel like we spent the day having tea together."

With a background as a teacher, a founder of both a private school and a national non-profit pregnancy and infant loss organization, and a parent advocate, she has inspired and learned from many. "Traveling to New Zealand, Australia, Scotland, England, and Japan to speak to international audiences lately, has shown me how universal parenthood and grief are. It doesn't matter what our cultures are, we who have had babies die are intimately connected and understand each others' heartache and love...a love that goes on forever."

Sherokee's personal experiences and her philosophy to leave the world a better place, continue to motivate her to reach out to others in need.

She is a bereaved mother (miscarriage-Marama, stillbirth-Brennan, ectopic pregnancy-Bryna)and is also (gratefully) the mother of two living sons. Ms. Ilse also has business experience consulting on communication and team-building and enjoys the creativity of making things for others (beading, arts, crafts, needle-work, and sewing.)

Products related to this item

Page 1 of 1Start overPage 1 of 1

Customer reviews

14 global ratings

How customer reviews and ratings work

Sort reviews by

Top reviews from the United States

There was a problem filtering reviews right now. Please try again later.

S. Holmes

We don't all grieve the same so let's talk about it...

Reviewed in the United States on July 23, 2018

Verified Purchase

After we lost our son, I was so heartbroken and my husband didn't seem to be as affected by the loss as I was. Really, he just handled his grief differently than I did. We were having a lot of trouble connecting and explaining our perspectives and our different ways of coping to the other, so we bought this book. We read a section every night before bed and discussed it. Some sections were more helpful than others and some we had more to talk about than others. But the book really helped us talk about our baby's death and how we were going to work through it as a couple. I liked this book so much I've recommended it countless times in the grief work I do now.

Reviewed in the United States on October 7, 2015

Verified Purchase

Great resource for couples who have experienced a loss. Also a great resource for counselors for general communication guidelines in the mist of stressful marriage situations.

Reviewed in the United States on March 2, 2017

Verified Purchase

I did not read this thoroughly (thus 4 stars), scanned it, as it was a gift for a grieving couple. It is practical, helpful, and kind for those having this sad experience. It's not preachy or "how to" but rather mentions things to be alert about after such a loss.

Reviewed in the United States on February 4, 2016

Verified Purchase

very very good book!!

Helpful

Melissa Miles McCarter

Getting the "straight talk" about communicating with your partner after loss

Reviewed in the United States on June 13, 2013

In "Couple Communication After A Baby Dies," we get the "straight talk" about the ways in which parents can and should communicate after pregnancy loss or the loss of an infant. As someone who has experienced both of these losses, I was struck by the way Sherokee Ilse, her husband David, and Monika and Tim Nelson balance their own personal experience with insight into the more universal experiences of all parents facing similar losses. I instantly related to their experiences and saw myself in ways I have had trouble communicating with my husband in the wake of tragedy. I believe if I had had this book after my daughter's death from SIDS I would have navigated the fallout of her death better in my marriage.

The authors motivation for writing the book was based on the realization that they weren't the only couples to deal with pregnancy and infant loss. They hope sharing their "intimate journeys" would be useful because not everyone has people outside of their romantic partnerships to relate to in terms of these particular losses.

This is one reason I see this book as such an important resource -- my husband and I did not know any others who had similar losses and didn't have any roadmaps to rely on from others' experiences.

Another important part of the book is the recognizability of how gender differences influence our different ways of coping and dealing with loss. I was aware of how gender can complicate communication but had never really thought about this challenge in terms of the grieving process. For example, they pointed out be difference in men's and women's reaction to stress, i.e. women tend to react by nuturing and men respond out of a flight or fight mentality. I wish we had this information when we were first grieving our losses; it would have helped us understand and accept our different reactions. But, even years later this knowledge from the book has helped me think about many of the tensions in my marriage in a different way.

Even more than just raising awareness of these difference, they give specific tips to help couples improve communication, such as suggesting that women be direct or men letting women talk even if they don't want to listen. After over ten years of marriage, a lot of these suggestions are ones we tend to do already. However, I really hadn't thought about these tips in terms of coping with grief. I also suspect it could go both ways, in which learning to use these strategies to cope with grief can help relationships in other areas.

Finally, I was struck by how they eloquently express how a child's death doesn't bring good into your life-- it is what you do after that tragedy that can bring good into your life and the lives of others. Their book is a testament to this maxim, in which healing, connection, empathy and support can come out of loss. I believe this book can be a source of comfort and guidance for many couples grieving loss.

One person found this helpful

Helpful

Charmayne

Couple Communication After A Baby Dies: Differing Perspectives

Reviewed in the United States on January 2, 2009

This book is great, it gives you both female and male's perspective on how we each deal with the emotions that come with the loss of a baby. I learned a lot about my own journey, as well as how different my husbands journey is. I highly recommend reading this book together with your partner, you can only grow stronger as a couple when you both understand each other better! I want to thank you Sherokee and Tim for writting this book together, as your wisdom has helped my husband and I on our journey of healing together.

3 people found this helpful

Helpful