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“Maybe I should just quit. Stop talking about diversity, just shut up about it. Go back to coding. I like building products better than being a broken record about diversity anyways.”
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Letter to My Latest Street Abuser
“Do you understand the depth of your disgrace?
Exposing the underside of the human race
Claiming ownership of public space
Flapping your fragility in my face?”
Spoken word by Barcelona-based teacher Siobhan Tebbs. -
I Looked At A Rapist In The Mirror And Saw Him Smiling Back
Hari Ziyad reflects on the pervasive presence of sexual assault in his life — as victim as well as perpetrator — and wonders why he (and people around him) prefer to ignore these events rather than confront them head on.
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I Never Meant Any Harm: On the Duggars, Vicarious Exoneration, and Judging Abusers By Intentions
“My mother-in-law has sympathy for abusers because she is one.” Writer Karrie Higgins tells her husband’s story.
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Asking “Was It Molestation?” Is Like Asking “Was It Racist?”
“It’s really touchy for me, because I do agree that all survivors — whether they identify as such or not, or believe they were abused/assaulted or not — need to define their own narratives.” Monty at Punk Mum explains why she’s boycotting Lena Dunham’s work.
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Chris Brown and A Nation of Raped Boys
“And we wonder why our boys grow up sex-obsessed, equating violence with pleasure, and imagining that rape is only something that happens to women.” Olivia A. Cole writes about Chris Brown — and losing his virginity at age eight.
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But I’m hoping out of all this comes a real conversation about the culture that produces boys who aren’t even sure what rape is when they see it, and a system that treats rape victims like criminals.
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How To Undermine A Rape Victim 101
“Do not try to think about what it must be like to have the entirety of the Hollywood machine working against you, swaying the minds of the population against what you are saying.” Thoughts from Anne Thériault, after Dylan Farrow published an open letter about being abused by filmmaker Woody Allen.
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On Being a Thing
“What do I want? I want people to stop sending me rape threats. I want to do my work. I want to stop being treated like a thing — or, shall I say, like a woman.” On her blog, Sarah Kendzior describes constant harassment and dealing with rape threats in private — and then in public.
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The Cycle
“I still think about that beer-bottle bruise, my boyfriend’s father, and how I didn’t take it seriously. At all. I figured I’d asked for it. I think about my last, thoughtless, words to my mother: ‘Bullshit, Mom. Everybody has a hard life.’ I was wrong.” At Carter Library, Teri Carter contemplates the cycle in her family.
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Notes On Gregory Sherl: The World Makes Me Want to Hide in My Bed…
“This is where he stood and this is where he raged. This is where he stood the first time I heard how big his voice could get.” On her blog, poet Sarah Certa writes honestly and powerfully about abuse and domestic violence.
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He Wrote It Down.
At In Others’ Words, a blogger recounts meeting her cousin — who come together after many years — drive to the town they once lived, and go to the police station to file a report: “She said, Our grandfather sexually molested us 35 years ago, and we want to report him.”
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I don’t ‘condone’ violence. But I understand it totally. Sometimes it’s all you can do, because everything else has failed. Pleading for an abuser to stop never works. I know, because I begged for years: ‘Mommy, please…’
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Wild Creatures: On Body Image
“She’s lovely in a very specific way. As livestock, with a tag in her ear, she won’t win the competition.” At The Tusk, Maria Catt writes a bold piece on body image, sexual assault, and rape culture.
Abuse Filter