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Zlatan Uses Powerful Hypnosis To Force Keeper Into Shocking Mistake
Some sort of devious eye magic only known by the most learned of warlocks is the only rational explanation for why Moldova's keeper decided to play an inch-perfect cross off of Zlatan Ibrahimović's forehead for the Swede to redirect into the goal (warning: autoplay video):
Tank Top-Wearing Gronk Twerks In Miami
We have a new development in the Summer of Gronk, as enormous highlighter Rob Gronkowski is still wearing the same shorts from yesterday, but now has a matching tank top. Gronk went onstage during 3LAU's—I hate myself—set at Ultra Music Festival in Miami.
Harry Kane Scores In His International Debut, Is Soon To Be Crowned King
All week leading up to today's England-Lithuania Euro 2016 Qualifier, the only thing anyone could talk about was Harry Kane. Will he start? Should he start? Where will he play? How do we make more of him? Coming into the match, you'd have thought the season's Premier League breakout star would get elected Prime…
Jets owner Woody Johnson sold his Fifth Avenue apartment for $77.5 million. But don't worry: the Daily News reports that Johnson "never actually lived there, instead opting to stay in another of his homes at One Central Park West."
A Beginner's Guide to Navy-Strength Rum
The Royal Navy's successful invasion of Jamaica in 1655 had a lot of terribly negative outcomes. The commanders ended up in the Tower of London. Many of the English sailors fell sick or starved. A lot of Spanish settlers died. But there was one undeniably positive outcome: rum.
David Ortiz claims he's been drug tested "more than 80" times since 2004. Hardball Talk notes that this means one of two things: Either Ortiz is lying about how often he's been tested, or that Ortiz is tested so frequently because he has tested positive before.
Aaron Hernandez's Fiancée Testifies, Doesn't Flip On Him
Aaron Hernandez's fiancée, Shayanna Jenkins, testified in his murder trial today. Jenkins, who was indicted on perjury charges after her grand jury testimony, was granted immunity in January, leading some to believe that she might testify against Hernandez in order to avoid going to jail herself. That didn't happen.
Presenting: The In-Progress Deadspin Style Guide
I was terrified my first night writing for Deadspin. I wanted direction: somebody to tell me what to write about, how to write about it, and then to edit it when I was done. Instead, I was thrown into the deep end and basically told "if you see something interesting write about it, or don't, whatever." I didn't know…
Russian Goalkeeper Takes A Flare To The Back Of His Head [UPDATE]
In today's Euro 2016 qualifier between Montenegro and Russia, a flare from the stands hit Russian keeper Igor Akinfeev in the head. Ouch. Here's another look:
Phil Kessel Mad; David Booth Also Mad
Phil Kessel and David Booth got into a shoving match during today's Maple Leafs' practice. The brouhaha didn't escalate to punches, however, and teammates separated the two players.
Aw Hell, Kevin Durant Is Done For The Season
The Thunder announced today that Kevin Durant’s foot fracture has shown signs of “regression” and that he’ll have season-ending surgery next week to help the healing process. This sucks.
AP Stylebook Says No More "Dingers" [Updates]
At the American Copy Editors Society's annual meeting in Pittsburgh today, updates to and new entries in the 2015 Associated Press Stylebook are being revealed. This news will not affect you at all. But I think it's interesting, so go to hell.
Iggy Azalea Raps, Sounds Like A Sputtering Lawnmower
Not long ago, a Vine of Iggy Azalea rapping an indecipherable string of nonsense words began making its way around the internet. As it turns out, that Vine only captured the tail end of a much longer, even more indecipherable display of nonsense rapping.
How To Smoke Salmon: Mystical Alchemy From The Majestic West
Pity the poor East Coast rat racer. Look at him, pouring out of the subway with his sooty, bedraggled kin, lurching through ill-lit corridors, past dripping pipes and glaring widows just missing him with the splash of their chamberpots. There he is, spending $12 on a substandard turkey sub. Here he goes, hat brim…
Report: Predatory UNH Basketball Staffer Often Recorded Naked Players
Scott Weitzell, a staffer on the New Hampshire men's basketball team, was accused in February of 2014 of secretly taking photos of players in the locker room after a game. He was fired a few days later, and when police searched his house, he attempted to destroy evidence. At the time, Weitzell received a suspended…
T-Pain Is Back
There was a time in the early-mid 2000s when you couldn't turn on the radio without hearing a T-Pain song, but then he pretty much went silent for the four years following the flop of his last album, Revolver. Today, he dropped the DJ Drama-hosted mixtape The Iron Way, and I think it's safe to say Teddy Bend-Er-Ass…
A food safety manager who blew the whistle on health violations at Kauffman and Arrowhead Stadiums says he's been fired for going to the media.