Quick: what's the most absurd thing you've ever heard a person say? That vaccines cause autism? That lizard people live under Los Angeles? How about that "there is no acceptable level of any chemical to ingest, ever?"
Welcome to Boozinette, your illustrated cocktail guide. This is how to make The Last Swipe On The Left.
Fact: Milk is for babies and children. If you are an adult—i.e., not a baby or child—you should not be drinking milk.
You'd probably have an easier time achieving a lasting peace in the Middle East than getting a room full of Americans, selected at random, to agree on pizza toppings. Ranking them should be fun, then.
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It's three. No matter what you say, the answer is still three. Sorry, scientists: Owl 1, Science 0.
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There's a term for people who inhale an entire meal in basically one go: "weird lunatics." Also "men," apparently.
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As someone who had to cut onions last night and still hasn't fully recovered, please give me them now.
Welcome back to Behind Closed Ovens, where we take a look at the best and strangest stories from inside the food industry. As a palate cleanser for the last two weeks, please enjoy some stories of terrible customers receiving their just rewards. As always, these are real e-mails from real readers.
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Another day, another American company pulls some blatant fuckery involving trademarks and threatened lawsuits with an end goal of limiting the options of American consumers and forcing people to buy their product over a clearly superior alternative. Boy, I'm shocked they keep trying this shit.
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Meat-eaters and vegans are getting into an angry spat involving a New York restaurant, and oh my God can they both please shut the hell up right now.
Welcome to Boozinette, your illustrated cocktail guide. This is how to make The Bottom Line.
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After Budweiser's "HUR HUR, ONLY SISSIES LIKE CRAFT BEER" ad from the Super Bowl, it should be no surprise that craft brewers are snarking at them pretty hard.
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Frankly, I'm just disappointed the universe didn't see fit to have this happen at a Howard Johnson's.
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Since you ask, it's a fine day here at Batshit Crazy Headline Aficionado HQ. A damn fine day.
Welcome back to Behind Closed Ovens, where we take a look at the best and strangest stories from inside the food industry. Today, as promised, we have part two in our series recounting tales of truly horrible restaurant customers. As always, these are real e-mails from real readers.
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Sometimes you have stories that are easily encapsulated in the headline. Other times, you have stories that require a level of explanation impossible to fit in 70 characters. This story is the latter. Suffice it to say: this guy really, REALLY deserved to be arrested, because fuck this guy.
Welcome to Boozinette, your illustrated cocktail guide. This is how to make The Cabin Fever.
What's a pizza company to do if they want to get in on that sweet 50 Shades of Grey cash cow action, but have absolutely no promo connection to the infamous amalgam of Freaky Friend Fiction word snippets masquerading as dialogue? How about an ad referencing BDSM? OK, great, but even better: how about an ad that…
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