Today's Woot Write-up
[INSERT COINS]
The Water Viper gang has kidnapped your girl!
Navigate the treacherous river to save her!
Press any key to continue ...
Inflate your paddle board and take to the water.
[Poppy synth music]
Use forward, back, left and right keys to move.
[Vwoop Vwoop Vwoop!]
Get power ups to extend your telescoping aluminum paddle.
[Bada-bada-bada-bada]
Look out! The Water Viper Gang on their jet skis! Knock them out with your durable plastic blade!
[Bamp! Bamp!]
Watch out for rocks and inner tubers!
[Bewwwwwwp! Fffffffffffffffffffffff–]
Oh no! You're losing air! Re-inflate with your high-pressure hand pump with built-in pressure gauge!
[Fwoof fwoof fwoof]
Congratulations, adventurer! You've reached the tower!
[Victory music]
"Sorry, adventurer, your girlfriend is in another tower."
[Sad trombone]