Today, ABCs. Tomorrow, word-game circult domination!

Hey, Billy. Come on in here for a second. See that? That's the alphabet. I know you don't know it very well, but that's all going to change today. From this point on, you're a word warrior. Let's start small. Make a word. Any word. See what you've got.

C-A-T. Hey, that's not bad! That would be a good start in Boggle, maybe. Possibly Hangman, if you were playing against a three-year-old. Come on! Where's your A game? You should be spelling it C-B-T if that's the B-grade heat you're bringing my way! Get some more of those big foam letters and try again.

D-O-G. Really? Couldn't you at least add M-A to the end of that? Or, even better, M-A-T-I-C? Those triple letter spaces aren't easy to get to, you need to start getting that through your head. Your opponent won't be as soft as these puzzle pieces, no, sirree. Quick, how many R's in sirree? WRONG! It's TWO!

Okay, fine. Maybe you're better at music trivia. Here's an easy one. Spell "Neu" for me. What? N-O-I? Kid, you're killin' me here. Killin' me! Spend a little time with these ABC Foam Blocks, okay? I'm going out for a bit. No, not to get you ice cream, to buy you a dictionary. The second you learn how to read, you're in training.

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