Regarding that age-old question about bears and the woods.

There are a lot things about life that your kids need to learn. Like the difference between tutu-wearing dancing circus bears and real, wild, rugged bears.

Tutu bears will twirl for food. Rugged bears will eat you. Tutu bears can sometimes ride bicycles. Rugged bears will eat you. Tutu bears, though super cute, are probably pretty miserable inside. Rugged bears will eat you ... and then smile about it.

You see, kids, bears are meant to crap in the woods. A tutu-wearing dancing circus bear doesn't get that luxury, so it just has to hold it instead. Imagine the years of build-up. You'd be miserable too.

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