Footlong hot dog? So satisfying. Footlong tablet? Yeah, you see where we're going with this already.

Everything mankind has ever created, accessible via a thing slightly longer than the ultimate hot dog. Photos you can store, books you can learn from, music you can sing along with and movies you can learn from, all crammed into the 32GB Flash Memory. Need more? Sure, what hot dog is complete without mustard? That's right, we're gonna extend this metaphor to the max today! And the microSD slot will be the onions and kraut to the hot dog that is your tablet! Deliciously enticing, isn't it? ISN'T IT?

C'mon, we worked really hard on that metaphor. Poor Amy spent all night chopping onions. Laura was toasting buns until the sun rose. She's asleep right now with such a happy smile on her face. So proud of all her hard work. Are you really going to tell her that this metaphor for the Galaxy Tablet isn't funny?

And what about John? John made that sauerkraut by hand! By HAND! And you're going to just spit in it? If you did that to a German they'd punch you in the nose!

Look, maybe you're just upset because you feel like the Samsung Galaxy Tab Pro is better than your iThing. We get it. It's hard to admit you were wrong. But don't take it out on the hot dogs, okay? The hot dogs don't deserve to suffer over this. Let them be. Let them have their dreams.

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