Woot Affiliate Program
Become a Minion
Want to take your internet business to the next level of selloutery and earn a (very) little cheddar for your effort? Woot seeks anyone who can work a mouse to do our bidding. Some people call it affiliate marketing - we call it Woot Minions!
Why Risk Your Online Cred?
Because money is money, right? And every little bit helps (us). We make money. You make money. We make money. And all you have to do is post a few links! Ready to get started? There's just one more thing…
Submit To Our Judgment
You might be wasting our your time by even applying. But hey, if you had anything better
to do, you wouldn't be signing up for one of THE BEST AFFILIATE PROGRAMS IN THE WORLD (not
true at all)! So go on. Give it a shot.
Fill out the application here.
Now Post Our Links
Got a blog, weblog, vlog, moblog, mommyblog, blawg, or microblog? Offend your loyal readers with links to our low-conversion specials! If they're not making you any money, who needs 'em, right?
Whew, That Was A Close One
You dodged a bullet there, friend. In a few weeks, when the Internet is ablaze with complaints by disappointed Woot Minions, you'll realize this loss was actually a win. Congratulations!
Let The Cash Roll In…
How much can you expect to make as a Woot Minion? It's sorta up to you. Generally speaking, probably more than the cost of extra cheese on your next Quarter Pounder, but less than what you can scrounge between your couch cushions. Specifically, this much:
Commission Rates:
Computers and Electronics: 2%
Wine: 0% (Ha Ha. Suckers.)
Everything else: 4%
…Only To Perhaps See It All Taken Away
Don't go borrowing from any loan sharks if you're planning to pay it back with your lucrative Woot Minions income. We reserve the right to change the rules or end this whole affiliate program at any time, for any reason, for everybody or just for you. #sorrynotsorry
That's all it takes to start living the Woot Minion lifestyle (aside from several mysterious stipulations we've hidden under a pile of jargon in the User Agreement). Can YOU afford to miss out on the program that breeds THE WORLD'S MOST WEALTHY AFFILIATES (again, completely untrue)?! Man. We sure hope so.
