You don't think that I wear Mesh well? I'm just like, why am I even listening to you to begin with? You're a virgin who can't tell time.

Wear this watch: to prove all those haters wrong.

Don't wear this watch: if they were right all along.

In 99% of uses, this watch doesn't: speak Mexican.

If this watch went to Taco Bell, it would order: two mochaccinos and then feel like ralphing.

On this watch's car, there's a bumper sticker that reads: "Your Mom is Full-On Monet."

At a karaoke bar, this watch sings: "Rollin' With My Homies"

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