Today's Woot Write-up
Keep your friends close and your tablet closer.
"Excuse me."
"Who said that?"
"It's me, your Google Nexus."
"Oh hey. Hi."
"Hi. Listen, I need you to do me a favor."
"Sure. What's up?"
"Can you get me three tons of dirt?"
"Dirt?"
"Three tons, yes. Fast, please."
"What for?"
"Hey, you ask me for weird stuff all the time. Look, if you asked me for three tons of dirt, I wouldn't be asking you questions like 'are you trying to bury evidence?'."
"Bury evidence?"
"Boy, you are really nosy. Maybe I should just post your search history on howtogetrideofcompetitors.com, how would you like that?"
"...I--"
"You you you, it's always about you. Fine, watch your Netflix. I'll get someone else to help me. Bye."
"Wait...hello?.........Jeez..." [opens Netflix]
