Kvetch!

KotD: "Dear friend: Making deliberate spelling or grammar errors is not artsy."

KotD: "College is a cruel joke: you spend an enormous amount of money to prepare for the career you need just to pay off the student loans."

KotD: "If I had a choice, trust me, I wouldn't have fallen for you."

KotD: "Don't scare me ... I poop easily."

KotD: "Our director of development is supposed to be an idiot-savant. So far I haven't seen any evidence for the savant."

KotD: "Why do Starbucks double chocolate muffins look like they have genital warts?"

KotD: "Thank you, Facebook, for making me accessible to all the people I've been successfully avoiding."

KotD: "I am thinking of ordering the abrasively loud windbag in the cubcle next door a hot cup of dickpunch."

KotD: "If you watch the superbowl for the commercials, you're an even bigger idiot than the people who watch it for the game."

KotD: "Hey Battlestar fans: when Starbuck says 'Fracking', it's cool and sexy. It's not cool and sexy when you say it."

KotD: "I don't endorse capital punishment for idiots, but can't we remove the safety warnings from everything and let it work itself out?"

KotD: "Hey co-workers: I like World of Warcraft too, but you've been talking about it for 40 minutes. SHUT UP already!"

KotD: "I'm not crying or kissing a stranger, so 2009 may not suck." Happy new year, Kvetchers!

KotD: "If you don't like my driving, then get off the sidewalk."

KotD: "If you really need to discuss colonics at work, maybe an office behind closed doors would be better than the open-air cube farm."

KotD: "I'd like to introduce you to my late wife. She's not dead, she's just never on time."

KotD: "If you're looking for sympathy, you can find it in the dictionary, right between shit and syphilis."

KotD: "No thank you perfect starnger, I would not like to hold your baby while you re-light your Winston 100."

KotD: "A good way to keep things brief is to not talk about how you're going to keep things brief."

KotD: "If you have to tell someone how smart you are, you're probably not as smart as you think you are."