Julia, but scary

I'm not going in to work still drunk without sleeping I just went as "poor decision maker" for Halloween

That topical costume you started working on 3 months ago is now out of date and nobody remembers what you're talking about

Congrats on your fun, low-key Halloween wedding. I'm sure your quirky, unconventional approach will keep your marriage going for decades.

I'm going as a box of cheap wine for Halloween, then maybe my mother will love me

Someone asked "What are you supposed to be" and I said "garbage" and they said "Then where's your costume" and I started crying

There's an older man in normal clothes just walking around this party carrying a quarter staff & I'm supposed to guess his costume from that

What did antisocial people do at parties before smartphones?

People say millennials are too hip, but I still think a party starting at 9:00 means actually show up at 9:00

Julia, but scary Retweeted Julia, but scary

Just realized they never answered me https://twitter.com/Unirregardless/status/659900088827834368 …

Julia, but scary added,

Who else plans every year to toast those darn pumpkin seeds & then can't be bothered?

Jesus there's something obscene and disturbing about pumpkin guts

Hey, can one of you call 911 when I definitely cut off one of my thumbs carving this pumpkin?

I've been scared of hearses ever since I read that Rob Zombie wrote "dragula" while driving one

Facing @DeadmontonHouse by myself tonight because obviously I need more/better friends #deadmonton

Why would I want to know happened on twitter "While you were away"? I stayed away for a reason you know

This is prob a shitty reason to be sad someone died, but it just hit me that w/out Robin Williams there'll never be a sequel to The Birdcage