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They say you are what you eat, and I think that's true. I've been a nicer person since I stopped eating jerky.
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I accidentally broke the handlebars on Squidward's bike! I can replace it, but it will take me a while to grow a handlebar mustache.
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It's true, sometimes I play favorites with my footwear. Does that make me a shoe-vanist?
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I know Patrick like the back of my hand! That's where I wrote down everything I know about him.
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Cleaning the oven is a dirty job, but this body's got to do it!
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Grill softly, and carry a big spatula.
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I wish I could be in a parade. Would it help if I could float?
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I love watching dinner theater! I can hardly wait to see what the sandwich will do when it catches the French Fries with the salad.
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Is it possible to have too much of a good thing? I'll let you know after I finish this Monster Krabby Patty!
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Our Boating School instructor sure seems to wind up in prison a lot. What lesson is she trying to teach us?
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Squidward is an amazing worker. He gets his duties done so quickly, he even has time to take a nap! I have so much to learn from him.
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Oh, no! I'm feeling hot and my feet can't stop moving. It appears I've finally caught Dance Fever!
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I'm working the graveyard shift, but so far, it's been pretty dead. Maybe serving Krabby Patties at the graveyard wasn't a great idea.
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Happy 2014, everyone! This year I resolve to be squarer than ever!
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I've heard the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. I don't have a fence, so the grass looks fine to me.
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Patrick and I want Squidward to be a great artist so we ate all the food in his pantry. I can't wait to see what the starving artist paints!
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If Squidward were a superhero, his superpower would be clarinet playing. I've seen people offer him anything just to make it stop!
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I may not be the toughest guy around, but maybe that's okay. Sponges are supposed to be soft.
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Pearl's boyfriend broke up with her? Oh, no! We're about to be flooded by a river of tears! Everybody run for it!
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According to Squidward, he has the best taste of anyone I know!
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