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  1. 14 Jan

    They say you are what you eat, and I think that's true. I've been a nicer person since I stopped eating jerky.

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  2. 13 Jan

    I accidentally broke the handlebars on Squidward's bike! I can replace it, but it will take me a while to grow a handlebar mustache.

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  3. 12 Jan

    It's true, sometimes I play favorites with my footwear. Does that make me a shoe-vanist?

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  4. 11 Jan

    I know Patrick like the back of my hand! That's where I wrote down everything I know about him.

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  5. 10 Jan

    Cleaning the oven is a dirty job, but this body's got to do it!

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  6. 9 Jan

    Grill softly, and carry a big spatula.

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  7. 8 Jan

    I wish I could be in a parade. Would it help if I could float?

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  8. 7 Jan

    I love watching dinner theater! I can hardly wait to see what the sandwich will do when it catches the French Fries with the salad.

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  9. 6 Jan

    Is it possible to have too much of a good thing? I'll let you know after I finish this Monster Krabby Patty!

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  10. 5 Jan

    Our Boating School instructor sure seems to wind up in prison a lot. What lesson is she trying to teach us?

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  11. 4 Jan

    Squidward is an amazing worker. He gets his duties done so quickly, he even has time to take a nap! I have so much to learn from him.

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  12. 3 Jan

    Oh, no! I'm feeling hot and my feet can't stop moving. It appears I've finally caught Dance Fever!

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  13. 2 Jan

    I'm working the graveyard shift, but so far, it's been pretty dead. Maybe serving Krabby Patties at the graveyard wasn't a great idea.

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  14. 1 Jan

    Happy 2014, everyone! This year I resolve to be squarer than ever!

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  15. 31 Dec

    I've heard the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. I don't have a fence, so the grass looks fine to me.

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  16. 30 Dec

    Patrick and I want Squidward to be a great artist so we ate all the food in his pantry. I can't wait to see what the starving artist paints!

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  17. 29 Dec

    If Squidward were a superhero, his superpower would be clarinet playing. I've seen people offer him anything just to make it stop!

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  18. 28 Dec

    I may not be the toughest guy around, but maybe that's okay. Sponges are supposed to be soft.

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  19. 27 Dec

    Pearl's boyfriend broke up with her? Oh, no! We're about to be flooded by a river of tears! Everybody run for it!

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  20. 26 Dec

    According to Squidward, he has the best taste of anyone I know!

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